Betschwanden

Betschwanden is a tiny European island off the coast of Crete. Its main export is nonalcoholic beer. It is a poor country. The area is 1.2 square miles. The reigning Czar is Zigitah Umgrowlo. His rule began in 1982 when he conquered the castle of Thwerquen established a communistic monarchy.

Betschwanden has participated in no Olympic games, though they were close enough to watch the 2004 games from their island. They attempted to create a Third side in World War II to oppose both the Axis and the Allies. They were defeated in 3 hours by an attack of Roman candles. They have since barricaded themselves with a wall comprised of graham cracker.

It is a threat to America.