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Talk:Sarcophagus of Eshmunazar II/GA2

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< Talk:Sarcophagus of Eshmunazar II

This is an old revision of this page, as edited by FunkMonk (talk | contribs) at 12:41, 6 October 2021. The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

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Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 02:26, 22 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • So now it's here, just had a look at the old GAN, very odd it was failed after three days, when reviewers are supposed to give the nominator at least 7 days to respond to the points brought up... Anyway, have the issues from the last review been dealt with in the meantime? FunkMonk (talk) 02:26, 22 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, Every single one of them. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:15, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • At first there are some duplinks, which can be highlighted with this script:[1]
There were a few redundant links, I removed them, but I left duplicates for links that repeat in the header and infobox as per MOS. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:15, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Wouldn't this[2] or another fuller image be more appropriate for the main image? The close up could maybe be used elsewhere in the article?
Nice find, done. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:15, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link more names and terms in image captions?
Sure! I love to link el.ziade (talkallam) 09:15, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • What are the sources for the English translations? Could be listed after each sentence.
I translated some, I didn't find anything in the Wikipedia regulations about this, and this was not brought up before during other GAs. Please advise how to proceed. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:15, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
It would seem from this[3] guideline that it's ok, but I'm not an expert, you may want to mention it in the blurb if you ever take it to FAC. But impressive you can understand it! If any of them are taken from previous translations, they should probably be indicated somehow. FunkMonk (talk) 21:00, 13 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Done. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:15, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "was announced on 11 February 1855 in The Journal of Commerce" Any author?
Journal uses bylines, no name so we can put "editorial staff" what do you think. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:15, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Fine I think. FunkMonk (talk) 21:00, 13 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Done . el.ziade (talkallam) 07:30, 6 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He reigned after his father Tabnit I on the throne of Sidon; he died at the premature age of 14, and was succeeded his cousin Bodashtart" To make this less confusing, perhaps say "Eshmunazar II reigned after his father Tabnit I on the throne of Sidon, and died at the premature age of 14, whereafter he was succeeded his cousin Bodashtart"?
Done. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:15, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • You could preface note 2 with what it is, just skipping to the note makes it pretty incomprehensible what the context of it is. Perhaps the same with note 5.
Done. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:15, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Eshmunazar II sarcophagus-related media on WikiMedia Commons" There is already a template for this right next to it.
Done. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:15, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Hey habibi FunkMonk sorry I was away, sorry for the late reply. I will get to work as of now. Thank you for your review man. el.ziade (talkallam) 07:46, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
No problem, just wanted to see if you were here before I continued, I'll return with more comments soon. FunkMonk (talk) 17:13, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The hypogeum contained four rock-cut niches at the ground level the largest of which measured around 2 m (6.6 ft) wide and deep; the other niches measure around 1 m (3.3 ft) in width and are of the same depth" Why change in tense? This happens othe rplaces too.
I'll review the entire article for these, thanks el.ziade (talkallam) 05:46, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "next these lies" Next to these lies?
lies (the entrance) el.ziade (talkallam)
  • "are cut in the rock" Cut into?
both work, but I'll change it. el.ziade (talkallam) 05:46, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "of the Achaemenid period Sidon" I think "the" isn't needed, or you could say "of Sidon during the Achaemenid period".
Yes, thanks you're right el.ziade (talkallam) 05:46, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Not a big deal, but it's a bit annoying that you have to hover the mouse over the images in the gallery under "Discovery" to see the text. Could these be made into more regular footer texts that are permanently readable?
Done el.ziade (talkallam) 07:30, 6 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Dimensions given in de Luynes report are 2.45 metres (8.0 ft) tall by 1.4 metres (4.6 ft) wide." Why are the dimensions different here?
the official Louvre website figures are more authoritative, let's not forget that measurement conventions were not well established at the time of the sarcophagus discovery. The Louvre measures the sarcophagus at its widest and longest parts. I would very much like to keep De Luynes discrepant measurements here for the readers to consult and to avoid any contention of the louvre measurements by anyone who is familiar with DeLuynes' figures. el.ziade (talkallam) 06:25, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I think it's fine to have both, was just wondering. FunkMonk (talk) 12:43, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in the style of the Egyptian mummy sarcophagi." Link?
Sure, done. el.ziade (talkallam) 07:36, 6 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The effigy of deceased is portrayed smiling" The deceased, and portrayed as?
Done el.ziade (talkallam) 06:25, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "dedication in Phoenician" Link the language?
Done el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link Memphis.
Done el.ziade (talkallam) 06:25, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Later evolution" Pretty difficult to deduct what this title refers to, perhaps add "stylistic" or "impact on local sarcophagi".
Love this, thanks el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link Apollo, and why was the cavern referred to by this name? Don't need to mention it if it's irrelevant to the subject.
This is the local name of the cave. One of Sidon's main deities, if not the most important was Eshmun / Apollo. Abloun is a contraction of Apollon. This is supported by the cited sources. el.ziade (talkallam) 06:25, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • " - Acollection of ancient anthropoid Phoenician sarcophagi unearthed in Sidon." Seems a space is missing in the beginning, and sarcophagi doesn't need to be linked down there.
done el.ziade (talkallam) 06:25, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The Egyptian-style sarcophagus was free from hieroglyphs" That is too late to link Ancient Egypt, which you have mentioned many times by this point.
Done. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The Egyptian-style sarcophagus was free from hieroglyphs, it had" Should probably be "and had" or "but had".
done el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link hieroglyphs.
Done el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and measuring 84 cm (2.76 ft) in length and width" Measure.
SMH! done el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and regular Phoenician characters" What is irregular about the others?
Right! Corrected. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "As is customary to the Phoenician writing" customary for Phoenician writing would look more natural.
thanks, done el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "cut deeper and rougher from the rest" Than the rest would seem more natural.
Done, thanks el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "that they to have been trial carving marks" Too may have been?
Simplified. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and warns against disturbing him" Warn, since they are plural.
OK el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "King of Kings" Link?
Done el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link Hebrew Bible.
Done el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "or hardly any, matres lectionis" You could explain this unfamiliar term in-text, in for example a parenthesis.
done el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "n without matres lectionis, the letters that indicate vowels in Semitic languages" Seems you link it again and explain it here, but the link should be removed and explanation moved up to first mention.
Right, thanks el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in the Jaffa museum, Israel." You could link the museum, but in general, modern countries aren't linked.
Red link, will start article myself soon el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in early 1855" By early 1855?
done el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why is there a line break after "In the month of Bul, in the fourteenth year of the reign of"?
done el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "this resting-place, may they not have a resting-place with" Likewise.
Done el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "belong to the Sidonians for ever" Forever. Also a line break for some reason.
Done el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "this engraving forms longest" The longest.
done. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:51, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • " His sarcophagus was likely carved in Egypt from local amphibolite." You could add in the intro how it is thought to have been acquired by Phoenicians.
done el.ziade (talkallam) 13:53, 30 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • One thing I couldn't find in the article is what happened to Eshmunazar II's body? Was it found? And if not, this could be specifically stated.
Like most of the sarcophagi, this one was emptied by ancient grave robbers. Luynes said that only a fragment of a jaw, a tooth and some bone fragments were found in its vicinity. el.ziade (talkallam) 14:17, 30 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Alright, do any sources state the part with the grave robbers? FunkMonk (talk) 14:41, 30 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
There's a source telling of grave robbers tunnerling from one grave to another but this applies to the broader area where the tombs are located. I will try to find it. In the meantime FunkMonk do you have any other points I should address? el.ziade (talkallam) 07:36, 6 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think this looks nice now, and its great that you're still improving articles related to Lebanon, especially considering the horrible situation there currently. I will promote now. FunkMonk (talk) 12:41, 6 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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