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It's that tiiiiiiime of year...
The five topics up top exert the most influence over this list. First up it's Jeffrey Dahmer, which at least one of us is very angry about, who also brought in the man who killed him. Then it's the war in Ukraine, which not only came in second, but also brought in the two countries (#9, #40), their leaders (#7, #29) and two other related articles; the 2022 FIFA World Cup, which brought in FIFA World Cup and the stars of the final (#11 and #39); the ever-present Deaths in [year], accompanied by two individuals who died, including Queen Elizabeth II, who brought in her son, father and daughter-in-law.
Other than those, this list is mostly populated by the usual serving of film and TV. Nine films made it on this year, including all three Marvel films, the Dark Knight's latest outing, Tom Cruise's latest vehicle (and Tom Cruise), the big one from last year, two Indian action films, and the biggest film of the year in multiple senses. There's also the returns of Stranger Things, Westeros, Middle-Earth and debaucherous teens. Three biopics other than #1's also brought their subjects onto here. Outside of the world of entertainment, there's also a man who loves to entertain, two people far too many saw as entertainment, and a man whose fall was very entertaining. Modern British politics also brought in Elizabeth's last prime minister and her successor. This report was slightly later than usual (largely my fault), but we hope you enjoy!
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In the short time this annual list has been made, including a test run before the first, the top article tends to be unquestionable: Deaths in [year] because it's a part of life with a link on the main page, 2016 was the year Donald Trump got elected, 2019 was the year of Avengers: Endgame and 2020 was the year of COVID-19. But 2022 is not the year of Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story. Unlike overtly sensitive people, my problem is not that a show on Dahmer exists (was never going to to watch it anyway), only that all its viewers went to Wikipedia afterwards and led to this disgrace - fascination with serial killers is nothing new, as Ted Bundy was third in 2019, but giving #1 to a cannibal murderer who's been dead for 28 years because of a Netflix show is disgusting. And sadly, there was no Wednesday Addamsto overtake him here. Starting off with the armed conflict right below would be a sad beginning, but at least it would be an entry that represented this year! In short, shame on everyone who let this happen.
In the early hours of the European morning, on 24 February, Russian forces entered Ukraine. Some expected it, others did not, but the reality in Ukraine was now that of war. Millions chose to flee. Others remained, choosing to face the coming onslaught. Many, including Russia's president (#7) and the Russian Army, did not expect the war to last long, with Russian troops on the outskirts of the Ukrainian capital. Ukraine's president (#29) was offered an airlift.
However, to the surprise of most, Ukraine did not fall. Russia's forces achieved some success, but not much, and were for the most part humiliated by a nation less than a third their size. In the end they gave up on taking Kyiv and retreated to focus on the east, leaving behind the vestiges of the haunting crimes they had committed in towns such as Bucha. Thereafter it became a slow, grinding conflict slowly advancing through cities in ruins, as images of the hell on earth in Azovstal filtered around the world. As western aid began to filter through into Ukraine's army, it began to drive back in some areas, and managed to retake large tracts of the Kharkiv and Kherson Oblasts taken at the start of the war. Today the war remains largely static, as the missiles still rain down.
Once again, we've come around to the biggest sporting event in the world! This one was controversial before it even began. The tournament was hosted by Qatar - because of FIFA corruption. And then FIFA banned teams from protesting about it. However, once the football started, boy it was good. The group stages ended with a number of upsets itself - Argentina lost their opening game to Saudi Arabia, dubbed the biggest world cup upset of all time (Argentina would still qualify). Some teams that should have qualified didn't: Denmark (ranked 11th globally), Germany (ranked 12th, and 2014 champions) and Belgium (ranked 2nd, and third-placed last time around). And a team qualified that no-one expected: Morocco. The Dec. 1 games - at one point or another all four of the teams in Group E were in a position to qualify. The round-of-16 featured only one upset - Morocco dispensing Spain in a penalty shoot-out.
The quarter finals almost featured the greatest comeback, with Netherlands scoring with the final kick of the game to force extra time, only to lose on penalties. Meanwhile, #10 left the pitch in tears after his Portugal were dispensed by shock performer Morocco. The semis featured no shocks, as Argentina beat Croatia (preventing a second consecutive final) and France beat Morocco.
The final was a classic for the ages - although France only bothered turning up with 10 minutes of regular time to go, they managed to force penalties - which they ultimately lost.
And so, Argentina won the tournament, making #11 (in my humble opinion) the undisputed GOAT (although others are welcome to disagree). Interestingly, Argentina's last title was 1986, when a contender for undisputed GOAT played for the team.
2022 would already be the year where Her Majesty celebrated 70 years as the British monarch. And ultimately it also ended her reign as London Bridge fell and Elizabeth died the age of 96 - her mother lived a century, it was clear she would last long. After her death, the Queen's article received a massive amount of views seen only every few years, such as Michael Jackson and David Bowie after their deaths in 2009 and 2016 respectively. Her Majesty only got less views in a week than Kobe Bryant after his death in January 2020, and then the second biggest week was taken by the real life horror story atop this list, as if I didn't have enough to gripe against that guy and those who watched his show. Similar commotion happened during the national mourning period of 10 days, where the Queen lay in state in Westminster Hall from 14 to 19 September, during which time an estimated 250,000 people queued (confirming the British do indeed like a good queue!) to pay their respects, and her state funeral, one of the United Kingdom's most watched special television broadcasts, surpassing the wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton, the previous most watched royal event of the 21st century. Elizabeth was interred with her husband Philip in a chapel named after her father, and her eldest child was promoted from Prince of Wales to King Charles III after decades waiting.
And if you didn't have enough of the British Royals as they took over the news in September, The Crown returned in November, with Elizabeth played by Imelda Staunton and remembering how the early 90s was one of the worst periods for the House of Windsor, with divorces, scandals, fires, and the like.
In last year's report, a user said they had "no real interest in discussing Elon Musk anymore", and that they didn't want to talk about him and didn't want to hear about him. While there's no Wario costume this time around, the user will have undoubtedly heard about Elon Musk this year, so I'll do him a favour and write the report on him instead. To put it simply, Elon Musk bought Twitter this year. Then he started Q-ceiving his fans into thinking they've all suddenly figured out Wikipedia (look, we're in the report, too!) is run by the CIA and conspiring against him, because [redacted]; the fans now want him to buy Wikipedia. I officially want to scream into the void, too, Wario, and now never want to hear this man's name again.
This was the year Vladimir Putin ordered a full-scale invasion of Ukraine. Sorry to begin by stating the obvious, but it was unquestionably the biggest thing he did this year, as well as the worst, and the biggest mistake. After all, he is now seen across the free world as a warmongering mass murderer, even though this was not the year he became that. Rather, it was the year we finally saw him for who he was.
Charles has got a promotion! A promotion that he has been in line for 70 years. Most people celebrate a promotion, but Charlies came on the same day his mum died. Talk about bad luck! In all seriousness, he took it rather well. As soon as his mum died, and he became King, he was busy, and in the centre of public attention. His only hiccup was when a pen wouldn't work. Can you blame him, few people are rational after a loss, and most of us get more personal time. All-in-all I would say a relatively successful first few months in the role. Get prepared to see him here again next year, though probably further down, following his coronation in May.
Contrary to popular belief, the nation of Ukraine has had a long history of independent existence, or as part of various empires, before it was incorporated into the Russian Empire in 1793. That's right. The Russian/Soviet province of Ukraine had a shorter existence than the United States. The confusion comes from equating "Russia", the country established by the Grand Duchy of Moscow in 1547, with "the Rus", the Slavic-speaking descendants of Norse invaders ("Rus" is derived from the Old Norse word for "rowers") who founded various settlements around the Volga River in the first millennium AD. While some people wish us to equate the two, doing so is akin to saying that, as Europeans have always existed, the European Union has always existed.
12 months ago, one of my colleagues reported a relatively strong year for the Portuguese super-star, the year in which he re-joined Manchester United. Unfortunately, I am here today to report on his fall. And boy, it was a bad one. Ronaldo started this year with his longest goal scoring drought for 12 years - finally scoring his first goal of the calendar year in mid-February, amoungst a background of strained relationships with the manager and team-mates. Although he hit a few milestones, and picked up a few domestic league accolades, he had a disappointing 2021-22 season, by Ronaldo's standards. One of the most significant "failings" of the year was United's sixth placed finish, meaning the team wouldn't qualify for the 2022-23 Champions League.
Ronaldo (or more specifically his manager) spent the summer break trying to secure a transfer to a team who would compete in the Champions League, but to no avail. Ronaldo's 2022-23 season (to date) was even worse than the end of the 2021-22 season, scoring just 3 goals in 16 appearances for his club.
But, in mid-November, domestic football took a break for the FIFA World Cup, widely seen as Ronaldo's last chance to make a lasting mark on the stage of international football (he already made a mark on continental football by taking Portugal to the UEFA Euro 2016 title).
Ronaldo and Portugal started their campaign relatively strongly finishing top of their group. Ronaldo scored one goal in the process - becoming the first player to score in five World Cups. Portugal went on to dominate Switzerland in the round of 16, although Ronaldo wouldn't join the fun until the 74th minute. Ronaldo didn't start in the quarter final with Morocco either, joining the match in the 55th minute. However, Portugal lost. Ronaldo left the field in tears, in the knowledge that this would likely be his last World Cup.
But, believe it or not, this wasn't the biggest Ronaldo story of the World Cup. On 14 November, the week before the World Cup, a bombshell interview was published. I won't go into details, but he criticised almost every aspect of his club. United responded by seeking legal action under breach of contract. On 22 November, 2 days before he started his world cup campaign, United and Ronaldo parted ways, under mutual agreement. Despite Ronaldo stating that he wanted to "to retire with dignity - Not In USA, Qatar Or Dubai", Ronaldo is going to play for Al Nassr, in Saudi Arabia. So much for retiring with dignity.
Below his rival here, but certainly proven to be the better one, as La Pulguita finally matched Diego Maradona - who Argentina considers God for what he did one year before Messi was born - by winning #3 in a way comparable to Noah in how many beasts of burden he was carrying around. Unlike in 2014, where the loss in the final showed he didn't deserve to be chosen as the best player in the championship, Messi was the unquestionable greatest to hit the Qatari fields, with six goals at mostly crucial times and breaking the record for most World Cup matches played to finish off a run of five tournaments showing why so many people call the Argentinian the greatest footballer ever, or at least the only one who could be mentioned in the same breath as Maradona and Pelé. And to bring it back to CR7, the Portuguese one only didn't finish the year out of a job because the nation who gave the one bad moment of Messi's World Cupwent to his rescue (Leo's still a crucial part of Paris St. Germain, thanks for asking).
I Heard this case may be out of my Deppth, but I'll give it a go anyway.
Before this year, the most you might have heard about these two was that they were married, broke Australian biosecurity laws and gave a lifeless apology, and then got a divorce. And then all of a sudden, they were everywhere. Based on the publicity these two got this year for the lawsuit you have no doubt heard (!) about, the unacquainted observer might assume that Depp sued Heard for abuse or battery or at the very least a little robbery. But nope, all of the hubbub for Heard was actually thanks to a mere defamation suit that Depp filed against his ex-wife after she mentioned being the victim of domestic abuse in a 2018 Washington Post op-ed that, and I feel the need to emphasize this, never mentioned him by name. The suit might have been a long time coming, though, since their contentious dropped divorce suit in 2016 involved Heard referencing his abuse, and he lost a case in the UK against The Sun after a judge ruled that 12 out of the 14 instances of his abuse alleged by Heard were true. Third time's a charm, I guess!
There's plenty out there to suggest that the case was skewed in his favor, including unearthed documents (that were unearthed by none other than his own fans) that reveal just how much was kept from being used against him in the trial. But the most striking part of all of this has less to do with the case itself, which arguably should have never been televised at Depp's request to begin with, and more to do with the public's reaction: the cultish support of Depp measured against the vicious, unrelenting vitriol toward Heard. No matter where you fall on this case, there is no denying that there was a hate campaign against Amber Heard, and it worked like a charm.
150 years ago, the first international football ... soccer ... association football ... soccer ... you know what, the second "F" in "FIFA" is for "football" ... and the "A" is for "association"association football it is.
150 years ago, the first international association football game was played, between England and Scotland aren't they the same country? ... not for sports ... what about the Olympics? ... except that
Okay, one last try 150 years ago, the first international association football game was played, between England and Scotland, the only national teams at the time (the two had played a few earlier matches that aren't counted). In the decades since, association football has become a truly global enterprise and the best national teams from each continent come together every four years to discover which number 9 or 10 has the better countrymen. And, yes, that includes the United States.
This year (#3), the men have been displaced 5 months because FIFA elected to host it in a desert for some reason. Next year, the women will have their turn.
This year's pedant's article (I, ironically, probably apostrophe'd that wrong) is Russo-Ukrainian War, the umbrella term for the period of conflict between Russia and Ukraine stretching back to the little green men. You see, Russia has basically been at war with Ukraine for the past nine years, although they weren't officially so until this year, and still aren't officially "at war". The previous fighting consisted of Ukraine fighting rebel groups in Crimea and the Donbass, all of which were supported by Russia and Russian soldiers pretending to be separatist rebels. What a weird dance to avoid retribution.
Ah, karma. She is a bitch, and that's probably exactly how Tate described her after meeting her at the end of this year, just like how he seems to describe most women. Don't believe me? That means you've managed to avoid the social media maelstrom conjured up by a man who proudly wears the badge of being "absolutely a misogynist" and also unironically calls himself "Cobra Tate". Lucky you.
The former kickboxer started his Hustler's University program (real classy name) last year, which promised to teach men and boys as young as 13 how to take advantage of ever-reliable ventures like cryptocurrency and dropshipping. This was, of course, in exchange for their flooding TikTok with clips of him on manosphere podcasts, where he, among other things, encouraged violence against women, called women men's property, and said women can't drive. Despite him earning an ever bigger following of impressionable young men due to social media algorithms heavily promoting these clips, his content promptly got banned from nearly every notable social media platform in the middle of this year. Not long after, #6 on this list reinstated his Twitter account, which led to him briefly beefing with and then getting absolutely roasted by climate activist Greta Thunberg at the end of this year, then getting arrested in Romania on charges of human trafficking, rape, and organized crime. So, yes, karma is a bitch. And bitches get stuff done.
Three years after the epic misfire that was the Game of Thrones final season, HBO decides to go back to Westeros, in a prequel series based on the novel Fire & Blood focusing on the incestuous dragonriders of House Targaryen. Delivering the same high production values, court intrigue, occasional battles, and well-regarded British actors (this time with many of them having to wear blonde wigs), House of the Dragon got great reviews and showed disillusioned fans that some good can still come from the world created by George R. R. Martin, even if the author himself struggles to deliver new material, resulting in record-breaking viewership numbers on television and streaming. A second season has already been greenlit.
Top Gun, the classic 1986 Tom Cruise vehicle, was one of the last films I expected to get a sequel, let alone a sequel that was good. But lo and behold, Cruise and director Joseph Kosinski managed to pull it off and give us a movie that was not only far better than the first film, but simply one of the best theatrical experiences I've seen in ages. With a poignant story and fantastic supporting performances from Miles Teller, Jennifer Connelly, and many more, Maverick made $1.4 billion, making it the highest-grossing film of Cruise's career and the highest-grossing film of the year. At least until Avatar: The Way of Water inexplicably grosses billions of dollars and leaves even less of a cultural impact than the first one.
2022 was apparently the year of the scam, or at least the year of the scam discovery. Even if no one started any Madoff-level Ponzi schemes this year (that we know of), we found out about quite a few con artists through TV adaptations of their lives, such as Elizabeth Holmes in The Dropout and this woman in the latest Shonda Rhimes project Inventing Anna. It didn't receive rave reviews and, according to this SNL sketch starring ScientologistChloe Fineman, it likely dives into the same dramatics and tropes we've grown to expect from a Shondaland production, even if it's the company's first attempt at being biographical. But it did give a lot of people a glimpse into the wacky biography of this faux-heiress.
The Russian-born Sorokin moved to NYC at age 19 and soon took on the last name Delvey, which she at first attributed to her parents but later admitted she just came up with. She spent years going to high-profile events and clubs, making rich friends, and convincing everyone around her that she was loaded by charging money to invalid credit cards and printing fake financial documents. It all caught up with her in 2019 and landed her in prison for quite some time.
This movie did receive a tempered reception from critics (74% score and an average rating of 6.5/10 on Rotten Tomatoes) and fans (6.9 on IMDb and 3.2/5 on Letterboxd; don't let the always wonky RT fan score trick you). Is Phase 4 just a blip (withsomeexceptions) of declining quality in the MCU or has the MCU begun its endgame (at least with general audiences)? We'll have a better idea in February. Aaaaand seeing that that joke has already been made for another MCU film later on in this Report... I guess I have to write the obligatory: "More like Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Midness, amirite?" (or something like that).
On the 45th anniversary of his death, the King of Rock 'n' Roll snagged a spot on this list thanks to a Baz Luhrmann-directed biopic, appropriately titled Elvis, in which he was portrayed by Austin Butler. The film was a decent success and allegedly it was good. I didn't watch it so I can't confirm. I saw the trailers and can confirm that Tom Hanks heavily channels his inner Jared Leto-as-Paolo Gucci energy as Colonel Tom Parker, but otherwise I can't tell you anything. Elvis did make pretty good music though.
S. S. Rajamouli is one of the biggest directors in India. A few years ago, he had a massive hit with the Baahubali series, the second part of which actually made the 2017 edition of this report. This year, his RRR took India by storm, joining the fictitious 1000 Crore Club and garnering praise from reviewers both in India and the West. Epic, action-filled and entwined with Indian nationalism, RRR just edged out another film as the most viewed Indian film, but wasn't the most successful. That was...
The biggest hit in a year of Indian cinema was not from Bollywood, and not from the entry above, but from an arena long a mere regional industry, namely Kannada cinema. As the name would suggest, the film is a sequel to 2018's Chapter 1, and sees the assassin Rocky fight to maintain control of the gold-trading empire he built in the first chapter. Action-packed and slightly mad, the film delivered movie theatre spectacle to an audience largely kept away from it for two years, and became the third-biggest Indian film of all time, just ahead of the above.
We got a lot of superhero movies (or "capeshit", as the internet has termed the genre) this year, but by far my favorite—in fact, possibly my favorite film of the year, alongside The Northman, this list's #19, and Sonic the Hedgehog 2—was Matt Reeves' reinvention of my favorite superhero. The Batman is a dark, gritty, and long crime epic that sees Batman (Robert Pattinson) pursuing the Riddler (Paul Dano), a vicious serial killer whose efforts to expose corruption rocks Gotham City to its core.
With an intricate narrative, brilliant cinematography, a fantastic score, and excellent supporting performances by Zoë Kravitz, Jeffrey Wright, and Colin Farrell, The Batman received rave reviews—in my opinion, it stands alongside The Dark Knight as one of the World's Greatest Detective's finest outings—and grossed over $770 million worldwide. A sequel and a spin-off television series starring Farrell's Penguin are already in development.
After the short and disastrous tenure of Liz Truss, Rishi Sunak, the wealthy former Chancellor of the Exchequer, became Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. His appointment resulted in way more views than would be normal for a new PM, which I suspect was because his appointment was fairly big news in the land of his ancestors, India. Sunak inherited a flagging situation from his predecessors, to which his main response was to implement austerity policies.
Been 25 years since a globalized disaster - British ex-royal and her Egyptian boyfriend crashed a German car in a French bridge while in pursuit by Italian reporters, and a Brazilian doctor tried to save her life - and the draw of the 'Princess of the People' remains strong. The year started with Kristen Stewart an awards contender playing Lady Di in Spencer, August had the 25th anniversary of her death, the following month her ex-husband (#8) became king once his mother (#5) died, and in November Elizabeth Debicki played Diana in The Crown, now depicting the divorce and her meeting the Fayeds. Even if showrunner Peter Morgan already covered the impact Diana's fatal accident caused in the British Royals with The Queen, the show's sixth and last season will probably need to thread those grounds.
It was an unexpected turn of events that Volodymyr Zelenskyy became, for a time, one of the most admired men in the world. After all, at home he was unpopular and ineffective, and abroad he was a bit of a joke (partially due to his literally comedic origin story). However, when the war started, he managed to lead his people in opposition to Russia's invasion, while successfully securing western support for the country when it looked rather uncertain. He became a hero to the people of Ukraine when they needed one most, and to many around the world when the war dominated the world's discourse. For the rest of the year, he showed up in various legislatures exhorting them to support Ukraine, and received various meaningless honours, including being named TIME Person of the Year.
The number of English speakers in India is hard to estimate. Knowledge of a language is a fluid concept. If you speak English, for instance, you likely know more words of Japanese than you realise. Wikipedia uses the 2011 census results, which, while arguably the most reliable source available, are massively outdated by now. But even that estimate of 128.5 million is still higher than those of the UK, Canada, Australia, Ireland and New Zealandcombined. So it's not surprising that, once the subcontinent got sufficiently wired, en.wikipedia started seeing Indian viewers arrive in droves. This year saw five spikes in viewership for the nation: Jan 26 (Republic Day), Feb 24 (Russia's invasion of Ukraine), Jul 21 - Aug 8 (2022 Commonwealth Games), Aug 15 (Independence Day), and Oct 29 {final day of Diwali).
My immediate exclamation upon leaving the theatre was "MORE LIKE THOR: MID AND MIDDER!", which should tell you everything you need to know about how I felt about this movie.
Superhero movie fatigue has started to settle in for me, and I felt like Thor: Mid and Midder Love and Thunder was a representation of everything I've grown to dislike about the MCU: squandering good ideas and talented actors, an overemphasis on quips and jokes at the expense of tonal consistency and meaningful storytelling, and products existing for the sole purpose of setting something else up. And it's a shame, because I like Taika Waititi and had enjoyed Thor: Ragnarok quite a bit. Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Christian Bale, and the rest of their castmates certainly deserved a better film than this.
Of course, audiences still ate Mid and Midder Love and Thunder up, with its total box office standing at $750 million as of this writing. So maybe I'm just overly cynical.
It seems weird in retrospect, but prior to its release, there were some doubts as to whether season 4 of Stranger Things would live up to its predecessors. Thanks to Covid, its production was delayed a year, and Netflix was seeing a drop in overall viewership, which critics blamed on their splurging release strategy that prevented shows from becoming water cooler talk. Well Netflix took that to heart, releasing the season in two parts, with a perfect mid-season zinger to whet appetites. It worked. Season 4 became Netflix's biggest hit since the lightning in a bottle that was Squid Game. It even managed to make Kate Bush's best song, "Running Up That Hill", a global hit nearly 40 years after its release.
Norma Jeane Mortenson was the quintessential sex symbol, eternized in the first Playboy centerfold and Andy Warhol paintings among other things. 2022 marked 60 years since her tragic death, and attention was renewed, with documentaries, Kim Kardashianwearing one of her dresses to the Met Gala, and most prominently, the biopic Blonde, starring a perfectly cast Ana de Armasunder tons of make up as Marilyn. The movie itself is not an easy watch, because Marilyn did have a hard life, but Blonde blew it out of proportion - helps it's based on a biographical fiction novel rather than an actual book on her life - and even made up a few of the events of abuse and trauma, which combined with graphic sexual content earned criticisms as being exploitative and overtly focused on misery. Hopefully people washed it down by actually seeking Marilyn's movies, as Some Like It Hot (best closing dialogue ever!), The Seven Year Itch (source of that enduring image of her skirt being lifted by an air vent) and Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (pictured to the left, an oft-copied scene) have the laughs one would need after watching so much suffering.
2021's top movie. Possibly the savior of cinemas along with Top Gun: Maverick. And it was such a beloved event, that it is only the second film (since at least 2013, when The Top 25 Report began) to holdover and have two appearances on the Top 50 Report. Yes the December release helped with that, but it's still only happened before with The Force Awakens back in 2015/2016. And doggone it, this movie does deserve to have achieved such a feat.
...I did mention Wednesday Addams in the top slot, didn't I? Well, Wednesday was Netflix's second most viewed show of the year behind #33, showing how enduring The Addams Family is. And a consequence is that the one playing the creepy loner with some impressive dance moves made it onto Wikipedia's most visited articles. That show was one of many spooky works this former child actress had in 2022, as she was also murdered in the opening scene of the Foo Fighters horror movie, almost murdered in the opening scene of Ghostface's latest killing spree, and a part of a slasher film that disrupts a porn shoot. Ms. Ortega certainly hopes her career will be as enduring as the early 90's Wednesday Christina Ricci, who even appears in the Netflix show.
Thomas Cruise Mapother IV turned 60, and next year it'll be the 40th anniversary of his breakout role in Risky Business. He had a few snags in his career, from box office disappointments like Rock of Ages to that stretch where we only thought of him as a crazy Scientologist who jumped on Oprah's couch. But his return to a past hit in #19 reminded us on why Cruise remains one of the most reliable Hollywood stars, as following his perfectionist standards - Cruise made his co-stars go through extensive training to make it look as if they were actually piloting jets, and the actor only didn't fly an F-18 himself because the Navy denied him - delivered one incredibly good blockbuster that also made all the money possible. 2023 has more of our favorite actor who forgoes stunt doubles and seemingly stopped aging around the mid-2000s, as Cruise returns for the seventh time as secret agent who possibly has a death wish Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One.
The successor-elect of #11 won the previous edition of #13. He couldn't repeat the feat this time around - but he still had a stellar tournament. His three goals in the final forced a penalty shoot-out and won him the golden boot in the process.
Russia has never been good at PR. Their founding tsar was named Ivan the Terrible for God's sake. And he insisted on calling his empire "Russia" even though it would be nearly a quarter of a millennium before it controlled all of the Rus people. As a statement of intent, that takes some beating. Doubtless the meaning was clear to those of the Rus not under his control, and remains so today. Russia is the world's largest country for a reason, and the current internal Russian narrative appears to be echoing the words of Catherine the Great: "I have no way to defend my borders but to extend them".
Oh dear. The UK is not having a very fun time right now, even by the standards of our decidedly unfun age. It's even difficult to talk about it because, while everyone knows they're not having fun, no one can agree as to precisely why. I mean, from my personal perspective, it started when we gave the collective middle finger to 450 million of our closest trading partners, then suddenly realised we no longer had access to 450 million of our closest trading partners, and yet still insisted on giving them the collectivemiddlefinger. Then our greatest soft power export turned out to be not as inclusive as we thought, and our greatest connection to our glorified past, well, passed. And then our largely imaginary reputation for competence and stability was shot when we had three Prime Ministers in as many months, (fun fact! 2022 United Kingdom government crisis is a disambiguation page!) leading that beacon of the collective British myth, The Economist, to describe us as "Britaly." Now we're facing endless strikes as our public services are cut into the bone. God bless us, everyone!
The Indian news media has three great obsessions: politics, cricket and movies. Within that last one is an obsession with box-office takings, with a whole subsection of the Indian media devoted to chronicling the takings of various films. This year saw two huge successes (#23 and #24) both take big runs up the record books and become the third and fourth films to make more than 100 crore (10 billion) rupees, which caused a lot of views for this article as the media framed it as a race to make more money.
NATO OTAN was founded in 1949 as a "defensive alliance formed to protect Western Europe from those dastardly commies." Today its function is mostly the same, except "commies" is now "Russians" and "Western" has been removed. Some in Russia, including its current president, see NATO's expansion into Russia's former stomping ground in eastern Europe as a Threat to the Motherland, and cited this Threat as a reason for invading Ukraine. Ironically, the war has likely caused further NATO expansion, as it prompted Sweden and Finland to... reevaluate their priorities somewhat and apply to join the alliance, with all but Hungary and Turkey having ratified their applications.
Heche had her fair share of high-profile, low-profile, and medium-profile film roles, like in a movie about the guy at the top of this list or in a movie starring alongside #14 on this list, but her career was equally defined by her high-profile relationship with Ellen DeGeneres and a string of not-so-becoming moments in the 2000s. One might classify these moments, like going to a random lady's house to use her shower and claiming to be Jesus's sister, as "psycho" if they wanted to make an inappropriate pun referencing one of her most famous movie roles, which becomes even harder not to do with the whole shower thing.
In August of this year, Heche got into three car accidents, one of which involved her crashing her car into a house, setting fire to both the car and the house and leaving her in critical condition. Like DMX last year, much of the prolonged publicity surrounding Heche's death was thanks to the prolonged wait to find out what the haps was with her. Reports swirled around her status, some saying she would make it and some saying she wouldn't, before she was taken off of life support about a week after the crash.
As Euphoria's second season aired on HBO this year, it became the second most-watched HBO show of all time, only behind Game of Thrones—though it ended up slipping to third place thanks to the popularity of #18. For those unaware, the teen drama, featuring an ensemble cast that includes Zendaya (pictured), Hunter Schafer, Maude Apatow, and Sydney Sweeney, is a remake of an Israeli miniseries. It deals with dark subject matter, including drug addition, self-harm, depression, and a bevy of other mature topics, which of course has courted controversy. Nonetheless, it's received acclaim and, if the viewership numbers are any indication, it's extraordinarily popular.
Unfortunately for you all, however, I didn't watch Euphoria and have absolutely no intention to do so because I would rather do anything else than watch a bunch of unlikeable teenagers do drugs and get abused and engage in all sorts of depraved nonsense. Rather, I was too busy racing to finish Breaking Bad in time to catch up for Better Call Saul, a much better series whose final season aired this year. I got to watch Jimmy McGill (Bob Odenkirk) complete his transformation into Saul Goodman, the sleazeball lawyer who represents everyone's favorite methamphetamine cooks Walter White (Bryan Cranston) and Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul) for much of Breaking Bad. And it was very good and I recommend you watch both series. And El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, because that is also very good.
Did I claim the Euphoria spot just so I could talk about Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul because I'm bitter Euphoria made this list and Better Call Saul didn't? Yes, yes I did.
I mentioned Liz Truss's disastrous tenure earlier, didn't I! Liz Truss acceded to the premiership of the UK after Boris Johnson was forced out due to a continuing series of scandals. Within two months, she was out of office. Why? Well, her flagship policy was implementing massive unfunded tax cuts that wouldn't really benefit anyone except the rich. The fallout from this, and her complete failure to manage it, ended up bringing down her government and she was replaced; it was all very funny, and also extremely serious. She ended it all as the shortest-serving PM in British history, with a tenure of just 45 days, and was rather famously outlasted by a lettuce placed on a desk by a tabloid newspaper.
Black Panther was widely considered one of the MCU's best offerings and finished its box office run among the ten highest-grossing movies ever. The sequel was inevitable. And then the biggest setback possible happened once leading man Chadwick Boseman died of a cancer he kept secret. Back to the drawing board the follow-up went, while only pushing the already scheduled 2022 release date a few months forward. The final product decides T'Challa died with Boseman, and the film runs too long by trying to compensate that great absence by giving plots to just about everyone - most prominently T'Challa's sister Shuri, who eventually takes up the mantle of the Black Panther - while also introducing antagonist Namor and his underwater civilization. Still, the expected Marvel action and jokes combined with the eye-catching Afrofuturism aesthetic (now paired with an equally inspired "MesoamericanAtlantis") and emotional tributes to Boseman led to a much warmer reception compared to all the heated arguments and complaints ignited by #21 and #32, and Wakanda Forever only left the top of the box office upon the arrival of another water-heavy blockbuster (#28). Audiences clearly are always willing to return to Wakanda, but before they can do that again, the first continuation for the movie's story is for a side-character who's not even from there - gadgeteer genius Riri Williams, whose Disney+ show comes out in 2023.
This list already started off wrong with Jeffrey Dahmer. Let's not close it by wasting a slot on the guy who killed him in prison. The first off was...
Amazon spent $715 million for eight episodes of television ($250 million for the rights, $465 million for the production, not including marketing) to adapt a work that didn't exist, and couldn't even secure all the necessary background material. In the end, it garnered a 7/10 from critics, pissed off the fans, alienated audiences, who turned to House of the Dragon instead, hobbled the rise of an up-and-coming actress, and made Sauron a tall dark snarker. All for what amounted to the most ambitious fanfic of all time, even beating season eight of Game of Thrones.
Sep. 2 (premiere)
And while it may not be on English Wikipedia, and so we don't care, our congratulations to the French article on web cookies, a globally very popular article. I assume this is because GDPR warnings (for the EU, which operates in French) now include a link for information. So it's as meaningful a success as Google devices telling everyone to ask for Cleopatra during set-up, but, hey, it did it, something endless K-Pop fanclubs didn't.
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