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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Uri24 (talk | contribs) at 18:44, 26 July 2023 (Sex worker: new section). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Lightburst (talk01:57, 20 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Created by Launchballer (talk). Self-nominated at 18:42, 15 January 2023 (UTC).[reply]

I've had all the images on the page cropped. Please use the one on the leftright - as we're talking about her OnlyFans account, it makes sense to use the one used for that section. All use CC4.0.--Launchballer 22:32, 12 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

There are now more sources to support her having a single called updown. I genuinely don't know if this hook will be allowed, but I'll ask anyway, and if not could ALT1 please be used:
ALT3: ... that the "updown" singer piri (pictured) uploads "nude photos and videos[, …] lingerie shots [and] pay-per-view masturbation videos" to OnlyFans? Source: https://scan.lancastersu.co.uk/2020/11/26/interview-with-a-student-onlyfans/--Launchballer 14:04, 28 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Ok. Approved for ALT3, as it is cited in the article and seems reliable enough per WP:INTERVIEW and WP:RSSM. I suppose this is ok for the main page per WP:CENSOR but I also think there is something to be said for avoiding sexually explicit shock-value hooks when other hooks (e.g., ALT1) would suffice. ALT1 is not mentioned/cited in the body of the article (it appears unsourced in the lede, but nowhere else), so I can't approve it. AviationFreak💬 16:09, 28 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]
ALT3 is not approved as it violates WP:PROMOTION. I see now that ALT1 is not approved either, mainly because there is no citation for the claim that she used OnlyFans to fund her music career (only that she has an OnlyFans account). Looks like a new hook is needed. Cielquiparle (talk) 23:29, 2 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The second sentence of the third paragraph of the Pornography section reads as follows, emphasis mine: "As of that article, her OnlyFans account had "about 1,000 to 2,000 fans paying about $12 a month", which after the site had deducted its fees meant she made "between $10,000 and $20,000 a month", which she was able to use to fund her music career, move to north London, and buy a computer and microphone." Failing that,
ALT4: ... that the "updown" singer piri (pictured) is a member of Loud LDN?--Launchballer 23:50, 2 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Launchballer: Thanks for the clarification. Re-approving ALT1, which actually is cited within the article. ALT4 checks out but is unlikely to be chosen by the promoter because "Loud LDN" will be meaningless to most Wikipedia readers. Pinging @AviationFreak: In case there is something else I missed about your approval and subsequent "can't approve" for ALT1. Cielquiparle (talk) 08:05, 3 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I do also want to point out to AviationFreak and Launchballer that ALT3 is a pretty flagrant SG?gratuitous infraction. theleekycauldron (talkcontribs) (she/her) 09:33, 3 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Also, the image doesn't look very clear at DYK size. theleekycauldron (talkcontribs) (she/her) 09:36, 3 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
You want the cropped version, which I've replaced above.--Launchballer 09:37, 3 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Apologies for my mistakes on ALT3; thank you both for the correction/info. AviationFreak💬 16:54, 3 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]


Helpme

I suspect some of the images on this page could do with cropping, except I have genuinely no idea how to do this. Launchballer 12:20, 12 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Launchballer:They're cropped and etc. over at commons.wikimedia.org. If you have not edited there, I would suggest you ask for help on this one over at Wikipedia talk:Did you know. You can also request help on this at Wikipedia:Graphics Lab/Photography workshop. — Maile (talk) 18:12, 12 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

"beat goes stupid"?

I could use some clarification here. Given the context, that sounds like it is supposed to be a complement, but I'm genuinely unsure how to interpret it as one. Compassionate727 (T·C) 19:27, 26 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Compassionate727: just saw this. One of the dictionary definitions of mad is 'very exciting'; I assumed she meant it similarly to that.--Launchballer 06:45, 14 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

IPA

I was wondering what the WP:IPA is for froge.mp3 (per piri & tommy: Student Radio Class of 2023, it rhymes with rogue). Launchballer 06:42, 14 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Primefac: to make it clear, I would like to add the IPA for froge.mp3 to the article.--Launchballer 07:30, 14 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]
You'll probably want to use {{IPAc-en}} then. If you want more help, change the {{help me-helped}} back into a {{help me}}, stop by the Teahouse, or Wikipedia's live help channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. Primefac (talk) 08:06, 14 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Glitch

There appears to be a glitch at the top of piri#2023–present: "Feel It", "updown", and "fumble"; on my netbook, no text wraps around the image.--Launchballer 18:58, 20 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I am not sure why that's doing it, but I've found a way to make it stop doing that. Will seek some technical back-end solutions. If you want more help, change the {{help me-helped}} back into a {{help me}}, stop by the Teahouse, or Wikipedia's live help channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. Primefac (talk) 20:15, 20 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


GA toolbox
Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Piri/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 17:15, 8 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    See copy changes below
    b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
    See below on the lead section
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a. (reference section):
    b. (citations to reliable sources):
    c. (OR):
    d. (copyvio and plagiarism):
    Earwig mostly catches quotes from interviews.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a. (major aspects):
    b. (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
    There are five images. All five were supplied by the same user, commons:User:Piri.ioo. I consulted with User:Snowmanonahoe in re: rights and he said that because the images had not been published elsewhere, they should be acceptable. Linking for the record: User talk:Launchballer#Piri — images
    b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    Encouragement: Add alt text for the images for the benefit of those using screen readers. Not necessary for GA, but it's something good editors should know about.
  7. Overall:
    Pass/fail:

(Criteria marked are unassessed)

Copy changes

Lead section

I feel like the lead section is too much "they released X on Y, Y on Z, Z on A..." Pull back the lens a little bit with a better summary lead that wraps up the article's contents.

I took out the dates and reinserted a paragraph previously removed by Drmies which I believe helps summarise the article.
This is much better.

Life and career

  • She had previously worked part time shifts at Asda, and had previously wanted to become a lecturer after being inspired by her organic chemistry lecturer. Two issues:
I split this up; Asda at the start of OnlyFans, and lecturer before pole fitness.
  • McBurnie set up an OnlyFans account in May 2020 as she found herself £2,000 into her overdraft after completing her degree, with shifts at Asda failing to clear her debt. I wonder if moving all the references in this sentence to the end of the sentence would make for easier reading.
I would feel very uncomfortable knowingly referencing statements to sources that don't contain them under any circumstances.
  • She told The Times in November 2022 that she experienced less backlash than she was expecting, and that her account had "about 1,000 to 2,000 fans paying about $12 a month", which after the site had deducted its fees meant she made "between $10,000 and $20,000 a month", which she was able to use to fund her music career, buy a computer and microphone, and move to north London. Split this sentence: the two hanging "which" clauses in a row make it awkward.
Replaced the second ", which" with "; with this,".
  • ...the song saw use in 130,000 videos, which caught the attention of EMI, who re-released Would likely read better if "which caught" became "catching"
Done.
  • The song was Villiers's attempt at making a jungle track, which he later annotated with what he described as "some Isley Brothers type of tones", and which ends with a spoken word section, from a video of the trip. The second which (bolded here) is unneeded.
I've actually ended the sentence after "tones", to bring it in line with the others, and also because it's in "Beachin" anyway.
  • Lyrically, the song describes a challenging period in their relationship, and helped them express their frustrations and work through their problems Remove the second comma (CinS)
Done.
  • The mixtape contained songs about their relationship, and was promoted with a nine-date tour, Froge.tour, in November 2022, and a twelve episode YouTube Shorts series, Froge.tv, in which McBurnie and Villiers explained what the album's songs were written about.
    • Remove the first comma (CinS)
    • Hyphenate "twelve-episode".
    • Consider restructuring a bit: The mixtape contained songs about their relationship and was promoted with Froge.tour, a nine-date tour in November 2022, and Froge.tv, a twelve-episode YouTube Shorts series in which McBurnie and Villiers explained the meaning behind the album's songs.
I've actually taken the phrase "contained songs about their relationship, and" out, because having written Froge.mp3, I no longer believe it to be accurate. For starters, "Can We" deals with early music industry experiences, and "Player 2" deals with Villiers' departure from "his previous band" (Porij, though I can't find a good enough source for that).
  • On 11 January 2023, Clash reported that McBurnie and Villiers had split up, but remained friends, would release previously recorded music, and planned to work together in the future. The second comma (after "split up") should go (CinS)
Done.
  • Italicize Radio 1's Future Sounds which appears to be the name of a program.
Done.

Artistry

  • She told Notion in March 2022 that she usually writes about "whatever [she's] feeling at that exact time", and that "a lot of our songs kind of act like a snapshot of how life/ our relationship was at the time of the writing" Drop the comma (CinS); remove the space after the slash in the second quote.
Done.
  • Her amphibian motif extended into the band's videos; their "Words" video featured a frog jumping around, while the "On & On" video featured her accidentally eating a psychedelic frog-filled hot dog and the band's "Updown" video features her turning the director into a frog. You need a comma after "hot dog", as that has a subject and verb.
Done.
  • She is also noted for her pole dancing, which she started at the pole fitness society at Lancaster University whilst in her second year after attending a taster session with her housemate as a joke, and which she occasionally integrates into her performances, such as in the music videos for "Soft Spot" and "Updown", and whilst performing on-stage. Consider reorganizing this sentence; it's long.
I merged "which she started at the pole fitness society at Lancaster University whilst in her second year after attending a taster session with her housemate as a joke, and " into the university paragraph.

Personal life

  • Italicize 1883 and Brighton & Hove News as the names of publications.
Done.

Spot checks and referencing

I choose about 10 percent of the references to randomly be spot-checked.

  • 7: This interview checks out for the "loads of tech house" and the Japanese bench items. Consider adding {{rp}} to the uses to indicate the timestamps of when things are spoken in interviews. checkY
  • 16: Looks to be good, but only use as an WP:ABOUTSELF source. checkY
  • 21: Appears to be a pre-release page, but it does say "Available June 4, 2021". checkY
  • 48: Quote from NME checks out. checkY
  • 54: Article in Clash: Addressing this, piri has placed a short video online, confirming the “amicable” break-up and insisting that they remain friends.The two plan to release previously recorded music, and still intend to work together in the future. checkY
  • 56: Offline source. Will instead check...
      • 57: Checks out. I would attribute this statement in text: Izzy Morris of LeftLion described the song as "hyperpop". checkY
  • 71: The "raver couple" quote is in the GigWise review. checkY

A general comment for the future: please remember to add author names where appropriate to citations.

Questionable references

  • What makes ref 47 (WithGuitars) reliable?
WithGuitars purports to have a team of writers including "a few former national editors of indie, alternative, and rock magazine titles" and John Robb.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Sex worker

Found this article via Wikipedia:Peer review. My only comment is about the use of the word "sex worker." Is this phrase supported by any reliable sources? Is there another way to convey this using wording that more closely mirrors what is said in these sources? Happy editing! Uri24 (talk) 18:44, 26 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]