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Talk:Shaneel Lal

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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Nauseous Man (talk | contribs) at 07:39, 12 August 2023 (Cleanup templates: reply with thanks). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Tidy up needed

Good work, but please have a read of MOS:SURNAME and then edit the article accordingly. Schwede66 09:27, 17 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

And may I please check that the photo, which also appears in this magazine, was taken by you? Schwede66 09:34, 17 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, Schwede. Thank you for your feedback. User Pokelova has since made edits and tidied up the article. I have made minor grammar edits. Johnking121 22:10, 29 November 2021 (NZT)

To expand a little on what I said in my edit summary, I feel that there may be issues with WP:Tone in particular. --Pokelova (talk) 09:56, 29 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
What about my photo query? Schwede66 16:54, 29 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Hello, Schwede. I believe that the photo used on Pantograph is a different photo but it is a part of the same album as the photo used here. It should be listed under Niu Creative and I own the rights to use the photo. Pokelova, I will look at the tone. Thank you. Johnking121 10:37, 30 November 2021 (NZT)


Hello Pokelova, I have edited the tone of this article to give it a more neutral and formal structure. Is there anything else I should add, edit or remove? Thanks a lot. Johnking121 13:13, 2 December 2021 (NZT)


This is a weird read. I can't decide if it comes across more as a (very) thinly veiled autobiography or the treatise of a devoted and slightly obsessed follower compelled to sing the glowing praises of their peerless idol. 2407:7000:930D:B168:44F8:32DB:A17:635E (talk) 10:00, 15 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

agreed.Wainuiomartian (talk) 16:17, 3 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

A Commons file used on this page or its Wikidata item has been nominated for deletion

The following Wikimedia Commons file used on this page or its Wikidata item has been nominated for deletion:

Participate in the deletion discussion at the nomination page. —Community Tech bot (talk) 08:37, 17 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Trans

Hi this article mentions trans but Shaneel classes themselves as non binary and has stated before that they are not TRANsitioning into a woman. Non-binaries can include trans when they switch gender they were assigned. This person is not so it is strange to mention them as trans. 2A00:23C8:9804:8801:F43D:4BFF:3A8A:37C3 (talk) 10:09, 1 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Totally get where you're coming from and that makes a lot of sense! I did notice though that this week Lal retweeted an RNZ tweet + article titled "Activist Shaneel Lal has become the first transgender person to win a New Zealander of the Year award" so it might be a label they sometimes use? AtticEdit (talk) 01:33, 4 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]
(and they tweeted "Last night I became the first trans person to win any award at the New Zealander of the Year awards since it was first held in 2010." the day before) AtticEdit (talk) 01:34, 4 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Non-binary generally falls under the trans umbrella regardless of whether they're "transitioning", whatever you mean by that in this context. --Pokelova (talk) 01:49, 4 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Cleanup templates

I have added two templates on the tone/puffery in this article, and the excessive detail or trivial content (see WP:SIGCOV). There are too many examples to cite all of them, however some include:

  • "Lal made history in 2023 by becoming the first transgender person to win an award" in the opening, a clear example of WP:PUFF
  • There are an excessive number of sentences like: "Vogue magazine published an online article in celebration of Lal's efforts to ban conversion therapy in New Zealand"" and "VIVA described Lal as a "passionate changemaker who is the powerful voice of a generation.".
  • "Lal confronted anti-queer Christian protestors and told them that "God will never forgive you," leading to national outrage at the protestors" – this fails WP:VER at the source. The article says nothing of "national outrage".
  • Having a section on "advocacy and community work"? Probably can be trimmed and probably migrated under a 'biography' or 'activism' heading.
  • The "Lal's role in the campaign to ban conversion therapy" should also be migrated under an 'activism' heading. It is excessively detailed/long, and a lot of the sentences do not match the content in the sources.
  • Including that Laal is a "trustee of Adhikaar Aotearoa" is not necessary in the opening sentence. This isn't a CV, the opening is to summarise the most important parts of the Wiki article.

Plenty of other content is not encyclopaedic nor notable. Laal is a journalist, they write columns. It is not appropriate to cite every one of Laal's columns as Wikipedia content. Keep it balanced. It's a good start but it needs to be trimmed back a lot. Also refer to WP:BLP for guidelines on writing articles on living persons. Zenomonoz (talk) 04:44, 12 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks @Zenomonoz. This page has long irritated me for how it read like a CV. I've worked to improve the page a bit, but it could use even a tighter edit. I think the conversion prohibition can be left as it's own section as it is what their primarily known for. Nauseous Man (talk) 07:39, 12 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]