Wikipedia:April Fools/April Fools' Day 2005/Cabal

A Cabalist in typical attire.

Welcome to the official headquarters of Wikipedia's cabal! We are a group of sysops and bureaucrats and developers. We are commanded into action by our good friend, Jimbo Wales! We, the undersigned agree to:

Reject as many requests for adminship as possible.
Keep n00bs under control by telling them ridiculous lies about our respect for humanity.
Scare anybody we want into submission by blocking whiners.
Spend the donations from fundraising drives on gold-plated 70-foot yachts, French wines and bottled water, and business jets for the Board of Trustees members.
Look down on everybody else.
Encourage systematic bias throughout Wikimedia.
Continue to develop our secret anti-copyleft policies.
Trim our hair in accordance with the elitist lifestyle.
Delete anything, anytime.
Propagate the total worship of Jimbo.
Indiscriminately accuse harmless users of vandalism.
Use the mailing lists and Internet Relay Chat to denounce "trolls".
Loudly and repeatedly deny the very existence of our aims or the existence of this page.

Members

1. John "Sockpuppet" Doe

2. Neutrality^talk 03:45, Apr 1, 2005 (UTC)

3. Goobergunch|? (zee non-sysop spy!) 05:06, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC)

π. Meelar (talk) 10:04, Apr 1, 2005 (UTC)

4. Scott Gall 05:24, 2005 Apr 1 (UTC)

5. Radiant! (talk) 05:28, Apr 1, 2005 (UTC)

6. I27.O.O.l 06:49, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC) (Do you have to be logged in to join?)

7. please note that real members of the cabal identify each other by forehead tattoos in a color that only the initiated can see. These ~~tasty meatsnacks~~ users only THINK they're in the cabal. Or maybe that's just what they want you to think.

7. ~~User:Jimbo Wales~~ Node 18:08, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC)

8. Comrade Nick @)---^-- 07:56, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC)

9. Goose 09:52, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC) New member of the cabalists

0-0. There is no cabal, that is all.