Moe Szyslak

Moe Szyslak (pronounced SIZZ-lack; or, using Polish pronunciation, SHIZ-lock) is a fictional character on the animated series The Simpsons, voiced by Hank Azaria. Moe is the proprietor of Moe's Tavern ("Where nobody knows your name"—a spoof on the Cheers theme song, "Where everyone knows your name"), the regular drinking hole of Homer Simpson, Barney Gumble, and others.

Name & ethnicity

Moe's full name is either Momar Szyslak or Morris Szyslak. His ethnicity is unclear, since he is embarrassed by his past and does his best to conceal it publically. He is generally thought to be an Italian immigrant, though he has also claimed to be Dutch (season 15), and from the U.S. state of Indiana. His last name, Szyslak, suggests Polish ancestry.

Back-story

Moe claims to be one of the original Little Rascals, and later became a boxer before establishing his tavern. He was also abandoned by his parents at a camp that Homer attended as a boy of ten. This raises some dispute about his age—is he in his late thirties to early forties like Homer Simpson or around 80, like Charles Montgomery Burns? Since Moe neither looks nor behaves that old, the probable answer is that he's lying about his past.

Moe's Tavern

Moe's Tavern is located on a street corner, neighboring King Toot's Music Store. Across the street was a factory formerly owned by Bart Simpson, until it collapsed. The inside of the bar has a few pool tables and a dartboard. It is very dank and "smells like tinkle." A small stage stands at one end; Aerosmith, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Be Sharps and Krusty the Clown (during his "rebel comic" phase) have all performed there. Because female customers are so rare, Moe frequently uses the women's restroom as an office. Moe claimed that there haven't been any ladies at Moe's since 1979 (though earlier episodes show otherwise). A jar of pickled eggs perpetually stands on the bar. Moe's was briefly converted into a family restaurant called Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag. Moe also once revamped his tavern for yuppie hipsters, renaming the bar "M." When Homer's cocktail drink was popular, Moe renamed his tavern "Flaming Moe's." During this time, at least, he had many customers, including females. In "Who Shot Mr. Burns", Moe's Tavern was forced to close down because Mr. Burns slant-drilling operation near the tavern caused pollution that was unsafe.

Bartending abilities

Moe's Tavern is probably not the birthplace of the Rob Roy, despite what Moe claims. Despite having a degree in bartending, Moe is horrible at mixing drinks, and Duff Beer is pretty much the only thing he serves. The only other notable drink that he mixes is the Flaming Moe (originally called the Flaming Homer, a drink in which Moe stole the recipe from Homer without acknowledging it). He once pointed out that the liquor bottles that appeared to be behind the bar were actually painted on the wall. Moe's Tavern has a Rhode Island liquor licence which expired in 1973 and was signed by Moe himself.

Love life

Moe is typically single although he had a girlfriend once for a short time named Renee (voiced by Helen Hunt - Season 9, Ep.5F12), as well as a girlfriend in the short "The Love-matic Grampa". Moe is said to be quite physically unattractive, which may partially account for his perpetual loneliness. He also has a rather chronically bad sense of judgement (not to mention lack of tact) in dealing with females, and while participating in a bachelor's auction he said his favorite quality in a woman was one who would "take their clothes off for money." Because of his loneliness, Moe is often depressed, suicidal and mean-tempered.

He does have a gentle side, having been known to read books for sick children and homeless people. Moe did threaten Ned with violence should he reveal this fact about him.

Shady business

In one episode, he had a panda-smuggling ring on the side; in another, a killer-whale smuggling ring. His claim to fame was the "Flaming Moe", a lit specialty drink whose secret ingredient is Krusty the Klown brand cough syrup. It stood to make him a fortune until Homer, the true inventor of the drink, exposed the secret ingredient allowing several competitor knockoff drinks to spawn.

Prank calls

Moe is frequently the victim of prank telephone calls from Bart Simpson, often followed by a violent threat of vengeance from Moe. Bart's calls to Moe have asked for:

Maya Buttreeks
Anita Bath (Both this and Maya Buttreeks were used by Bart as fictious childrens names when Moe was applying as a Substitute for Bart's Class in "The PTA Disbands")
Al Coholic
I.P. Freely
Oliver Clothesoff
Olly Tabooger (backfired; Homer was running the bar at the time and didn't understand the joke)
Jacques Strap
Seymour Butts
Homer Sexual
Mike Rotch
Bea O'Problem
Amanda Huggenkiss
Hugh Jass (backfired; there was a Hugh Jass present)
Ivana Tinkle
Heywood U. Cuddleme (This prank call was done on a telegraph, as the Simpsons were living in a house from 1895 when Bart did this one)
I'm a stupid moron, with an ugly face, and a big butt, and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt. (When Bart had a Twilight Zone-esque power to transform people, in a Halloween episode, and Moe still didn't get it)

Homer once called and asked for "Eura Snotball", the gag intentionally backfiring so Homer can threaten Moe. Mr. Burns once tried to call Smithers when he was on vacation and typed in SMITHERS on his "telephone machine". Asking for Waylon Smithers, Moe presumed it was a prank and threatened him.

Customers

Barney Gumble

Barney Gumble is single, an alcoholic (after being introduced to beer by Homer Simpson as a teenager), and living in a incredibly messy apartment near the state penitentary, Barney arguably remains Homer's best friend. His desperation for alcohol has been the source of many jokes. He remains friendly and good-natured despite his unfortunate condition. In early episodes, he appears to be a parody of Barney Rubble -- similar appearance, hair color, clothing color, just much larger in size. Barney has demonstrated considerable talents as a singer, filmmaker, astronaut, orator, painter, helicopter pilot, and snow plow driver, but keeps getting foiled by his various addictions. Once he even drank a can of turpentine!

In "Days of Wine and D'ohses", Barney finally kicked the alcoholism and transferred his addiction to espresso, which led to the disappearance of his trademark belch. Happily, he had a relapse in "I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can" and was back on the sauce in "My Big Fat Geek Wedding" (in a scene that was a parody of Jimmy Stewart's Harvey). By the end of season 15 he was back in all his fat, lovable, belching glory.

Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo

Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo has the worst name Moe ever heard, and is a friend to Barney and a patron of Moe's Tavern. Homer once inadvertently offended him while trying to make up a fake name.

Guy Incognito

Guy Incognito was someone who looks exactly like Homer but has a moustache. When Homer was (temporarily) banned from Moe's bar, Guy walked in with a phony-sounding accent, and was quickly thrown out.

Misc. regulars

Lenny, Carl, and occasionally Charlie, Homer's colleagues at the nuclear plant, also frequent Moe's.

Burns and Smithers

Having sold the nuclear plant, Mr. Burns and Smithers stopped in for a drink before being kicked out.

Others

Barflies named Sam and Larry, the owner of King Toots, all the characters in the show voiced by Jon Lovitz drinking at once (a good sight gag), a man with glasses that are out of focus, an unnamed person who has a cowlick and easily passes out, a homosexual man who was under the impression that it was a gay bar, and a woman from Seasons 2-4 have appeared. As animation goes, though, they were mostly pushed out of the show. Now Moe's usually has Barney, Homer, Lenny, Carl, and people with problems (i.e. Apu's romantic gifts, cold feet at the altar, etc.).