I Am Not Canadian
I Am Not Canadian was a parody of the Canadian television commercial, I Am Canadian, devised by Toronto radio station Edge 102. It was also widely distributed by MP3.
It features a man from Quebec named Guy, who rants and raves against English Canada's stereotypes, while epitomising them at the same time. In the spirit of fairness (this is just a silly spoof after all), Guy also takes a few shots at English Canada (Toronto's Stanley Cup drought, no alcohol in corner stores, relatively uptight character...). He uses numerous blasphemous expressions found in Quebec French, such as hostie (host), tabarnac (slang) (tabernacle), calice (chalice), and mautadit (slang) (cursed).
The parody appeared on Edge 102's "Humble and Fred" morning show in 2000, just a few weeks after the original ad. It was delivered by Pete Cugno, a comedian who recorded weekly commentaries for the show under the pseudonym "Uncle Vince".
Among the references to Canadian culture and politics found in the text of the sketch are:
- Cigarette smuggling across the Quebec-U.S. border
- Stereotypically popular features of Quebec cuisine, specifically Pepsi (which is more popular in Quebec than Coca-Cola), May Wests and poutine (french fries with cheese and gravy)
- The "distinct society" of Quebec
- A thinly veiled reference to equalization payments, implying that Quebec was receiving huge subsidies from English-speaking Canada to maintain its distinctiveness
- The Office québécois de la langue française, alluded to as "language police"
- Quebec's blanket prohibition against turning right on a red light, which is legal in the rest of Canada unless posted otherwise
- Quebec's maple syrup industry
- The Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup more often than the appearance of Haley's Comet, a pointed reference to the Toronto Maple Leafs who have not won a cup in 40 years.
- Name-drops of notable Quebec celebrities Céline Dion and Roch Voisine