Jump to content

User:SM2024/Swarming (honey bee)/Artemis127 Peer Review

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Artemis127 (talk | contribs) at 18:28, 29 October 2024 (peer review). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

General info

Whose work are you reviewing?

I am reviewing Shivani koirala and SM2024's work on Swarming (Honey Bees).

Link to draft you're reviewing
User:SM2024/Swarming (honey bee)
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Swarming (honey bee)

Evaluate the drafted changes

It seems that then planned additions for this article are comparing two kinds of honey bees, eastern and western, and their swarming patterns. They have begun to include these species in their edits but it's not complete as of yet.

Additional goals look to be details of the honey bees behavior, adaptions and supposed origins of the behavior of swarming.All added information is neutral in tone, focused on the scientific processes.

The most information added is on heat/energy conservation during the swarming process but it needs to be further developed.

The article pre-additions is has a lot of information, I think it would be beneficial to make the additions in a new section, and add to the human behavior section something about urban ecology. Maybe how swarming in cities is impacted like what factors might stop them from successfully swarming. Remember to add references and keep it clear and concise. It’s easy to get focused on the small details but the average reader needs to be able to follow along.

Also, don't forget to update the Lead section, I don't think it fully introduces the rest of the article properly. The information is relevant and useful but it isn't a good segue into the rest. Include like a sentence or two about each of the sections within.