I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can

"I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can"
The Simpsons episode
File:EABF07.jpg
Episode no.	Season 14
Directed by	Nancy Kruse
Written by	Kevin Curran
Original air dates	February 16, 2003
Episode features
Chalkboard gag	None
Couch gag	The family sitting on the couch is drawn on a "Sketch-A-Etch".

"I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can" is the twelfth episode of The Simpsons' fourteenth season. The episode aired on February 16, 2003. It is incorrectly displayed in the opening scene as the 301st episode.

Plot

Bart is watching a program featuring a well-endowed female vampire, Boobarella, a direct take-off on Elvira. Homer sees a commercial for a new brand of Krusty Burger, called the "Ribwich", a sandwich where the meat consists of an unidentified animal, processed and molded into the shape of ribs. He is sold immediately and can't wait for it to come to Springfield. The next day, the vacations are over, and the kids are back in school. Principal Skinner couldn't be happier (though Groundskeeper Willie is less than enthusiastic after his paycut). During the assembly, Skinner announces that the school is holding a spelling bee for all the students. At the end of it all, Lisa wins it and gets a "scale model of the planet Mars", which in actuality is just a kickball with the word "Mars" written on it; but, more importantly, she is selected to go to the state Spelling Bee finals. If she wins that, she will make it to the "Spellympics" (the Olympics of Spelling).

Lisa is excited at the prospect of winning a state Spelling Bee and that learning does have its merits. Later, as Homer walks around town, he sees that the Ribwich has come to the Krusty Burger in Springfield. After sampling one, he gets addicted and eats many, drooling all over the place. Lisa, meanwhile, wins the state Spelling Bee (cheered on by her own cheering section) and qualifies for the Spellympics, to be held in Calgary. Marge suggests they celebrate by watching a movie, but Homer says he can't make it as he has "important daddy business", which turns out to be going to Krusty Burger with Lenny and Carl to eat more Ribwiches. Unfortunately, the Ribwiches are no longer in stock as it was only a limited-time-only sandwich. Homer is shattered, but a "Ribhead" (a fan of the Ribwich) tells him that it is being tested in other markets and shows him a tour schedule. Homer decides to follow a group of Ribheads as they track the release of the Ribwich.

At the Spellympics, hosted by George Plimpton, Lisa wins the semi-finals and secures a spot in the finals, but Homer says he still cannot attend, as he wants to eat Ribwiches in the last release in San Francisco. The other two finalists are Sun Moon, an Asian girl, and Alex, a really cute little boy with big round glasses, whom everyone likes. George Plimpton takes Lisa aside and gives her a speech about the low ratings that Spelling Bees generate, thanks to the dominance of reality shows. He tells her to take a dive and let Alex win. She is shocked and refuses to do it. George tells her that if she does it, she will be given a free scholarship into any Seven Sisters college of her choice; plus, she gets a free George Plimpton hotplate. Now, Lisa is torn between wanting to win the Spellympics and free college.

That night, she dreams of the Seven Sisters (in an ancient Greek setting), where each Seven Sister college tries to lure her to her college (Plimpton also appears to add "and a hotplate!"). She wakes up and asks Marge whether they can afford to send her to college. Marge is unsure, but promises to do whatever it takes to get Lisa into college. Despite Marge's reassurances, Lisa is still uneasy.

At San Francisco, Homer pigs out on all the Ribwiches that he can find. Suddenly, a limousine pulls up and Krusty pops out of the sun-roof and informs all the Ribheads that the Ribwich can no longer be made, as the animal from which it is made is now extinct, mentioning that it was made of a small animal with "more legs (than a cow)." He tosses the last one into the crowd. Homer catches it and fights off all the other Ribheads. A few Ribheads make offers. When one Italian Ribhead promises him "the lease-a of my car", Homer suddenly remembers Lisa and the Spellympics. He gives the Italian his Ribwich, grabs the car keys and takes off in guy's sportscar, giving the Italian "buyer's remorse" after finishing the Ribwich.

Meanwhile, the Spellympics finals are underway. Lisa is still unsure about what to do. George Plimpton deliberately asks Sun Moon to spell "whether/weather" and confuses her with the sentence (he uses them both), and disqualifies her when she starts "W-E...". Next is Alex's turn. He gets the word "rigged" and spells it correctly. Finally, Lisa steps up and is asked to spell "intransigence". She is about to start, when Homer shows up and shouts encouragingly at her. Lisa, happy that Homer came, tells everyone that she was told to take a dive and proceeds to spell the word, but she spells it "I-N-T-R-A-N-S-I-G-A-N-C-E". She is disqualified and George tells her that now she gets nothing (for squealing) and leaves.

On the way back to Springfield, Lisa is crestfallen at having lost the Spellympics. Homer tries to cheer her up, but she feels that she has let down the whole town. However, on reaching home, she finds that half the town has assembled at the Simpson residence to felicitate her. Mayor Quimby tells her that even though she did not win first prize, she has done better than anyone else in Springfield (even outachieving the Springfield woman who once dated Charles Grodin!) They have even carved out her likeness in a mountain nearby. Lisa is thrilled to bits.

Cultural references

Seven Sister Colleges parody

• This episode is often noted for its famous parody of the Seven Sister Colleges (as they were prior to the 1970s; Vassar College is now coeducational and Radcliffe college merged with Harvard) who appear to Lisa Simpson in a dream:

Barnard College: (wearing glasses): We are the Seven Sisters. And you can attend any one of us! Like Barnard, Columbia's "girl next door."
Radcliffe College: Come to Radcliffe and meet Harvard men.
Wellesley College: Or come to Wellesley and marry them.
Mount Holyoke College: (slurring, champagne glass in hand) No. Party with me! (Falls face first.)
Vassar College: Or nonconform with me! (Raises arms, reveals hairy armpits.)
Smith College: (muscular, carries lacrosse stick, husky voice) Play lacrosse with me!
Bryn Mawr College: Or explore with me! (She and Smith kiss with passion.)

General

• While opening the school, Principal Skinner sings a parody of School's Out by Alice Cooper.
• The song played during the Spelling Bee Olympics is "I Put a Spell on You" by Screamin' Jay Hawkins.
• Another song played during the Olympics was "Get Ready to Rumble". This song was also played in the episode "Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass".
• The lawsuit against the Spellympics by the Olympics (for using -lympics) is a parody of the law made by Congress which says that the Olympic Committee can sue anyone who uses "Olympics" or makes an arrangement of five rings.
• This episode contains some Grateful Dead references. "Ribheads" are touring the country in devotion to the Ribwich (as opposed to Deadheads) and end up in San Francisco. At the end of the episode, Krusty says, "What a long strange product rollout it's been".
• The character appearing on the TV show at the beginning of the episode is a parody of television personalities Vampira and/or Elvira.
• The title of the episode is a reference to the 1981 book I'm Dancing As Fast As I Can, by Barbara Gordon. The book describes Gordon's addiction to prescription medication and her rehabilitation. This episode depicts Lisa's addiction to fame and longing for acceptance.
• The stairs Lisa runs up are similar to the Rocky Steps.
• The framed number 0 jersey in George Plimpton's office is in the style of the Detroit Lions, the team Plimpton practiced with in his book Paper Lion.
• When Homer finds out the Ribwich was only sold for a limited his manner men when walking out of the place is from Roman Polanski's Chinatown
• Portions of this episode were a parody of a Darren Aronofsky film called Requiem for a Dream. The use of a 'hip-hop montage' around a central theme, in the film and this episode, addiction (the Ribwich); also the visuals when Homer eats the Ribwich (dialating pupils, blood pulsing through veins, etc).
• The ribwich is an obvious parody of the McDonald's McRib sandwich, which is also noted for its intermittent availability and the less than obvious origin of the meat.
• A reference to AC/DC is made when Otto asks Lisa to spell "AC/DC" and she spells it A-C-D-C, but after she finishes, Otto says "you forgot the lighting bolt".

Trivia

• A lengthy scene at the beginning of the show where Bart rushes to do everything he planned on doing during summer vacation was cut for time. It was later put in "The Monkey Suit," which aired three years later.
• The scene where Lisa arrives home to see the town congratulate her for coming in second place, is very similar to the episode "The Pride of Walnut Grove" of the series "Little House on the Prairie" where Mary enters a math competition, and gets welcomed by the townspeople for coming in second place.

External links

• I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can at IMDb