Maxwell Klinger
Maxwell Q. Klinger is a fictional character from the M*A*S*H television series played by American actor Jamie Farr. A Lebanese-American hailing from Toledo, Ohio (just as Jamie Farr is in real life, though Klinger identified himself as Italian in the eighth-season episode "Bottle Fatigue" before the character's Lebanese ethnicity was established), Maxwell Q. Klinger serves as an orderly/corpsman (and later company clerk) assigned to the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital unit during the Korean War. Originally a Corporal, he is promoted to the rank of Sergeant during the course of the TV series.
Background
Klinger is proud of his family, and of his hometown, which he regularly mentions (including references to Tony Packo's Cafe, a real-life local attraction). He is also a fanatic Toledo Mud Hens baseball fan.
B.J. Hunnicutt once remarks that Klinger is actually the sane one by always trying to get out, while the rest of the camp are crazy for accepting their situation and making the most of it. Making no secret of his disdain for the Army, Klinger constantly tries to get a discharge. Outside the occasional outlandish desertion attempt (once was a gasoline can originally filled with water as a bluff, until Potter caught on and replaced it with one genuinely filled with gasoline, prompting an alarmed Klinger to shout, "Who put gasoline in my gasoline!?") Colonel Blake in particular (and later Colonel Potter) kept a thick file of bogus letters in which Klinger claimed numerous family catastrophes, culminating in one episode where one half of the family had died, while the other half was pregnant. Thoughts of what his family at home would think of his antics are no deterrent, especially since one of his uncles tried the same trick and regularly sends Klinger his own dresses. Klinger has at least four civilian men's suits-including a zoot suit and a tuxedo when he played "maître d'" when the MASH mess tent became a "cafe". His most unique stunt was attempting to eat an Army Jeep ending up in post-op getting his stomach pumped of nuts, bolts and a windshield wiper.
His commanding officers are never fooled, and Klinger is continually frustrated. The commanders largely tolerate his antics because they are entertaining, and Klinger is otherwise a conscientious and reliable orderly who makes a point of never letting his schemes interfere with his duties. At one point, Klinger almost gets a medical discharge when his hearing is damaged by an exploding land mine (caused by the contracting ground and metal in land mines due to cold weather), but the injury isn't permanent and Klinger regains his hearing and retains his post at the 4077, although he immediately tries to fake a relapse to Col. Potter where he bellows in his ear that he doesn't buy it and Klinger responds "You don't have to yell! What do you think I am, deaf?"
Eventually, Klinger gives up wearing women's clothing, a change demanded by Farr because he felt his children would be ashamed of his appearing in women's clothing week after week on national television[citation needed]. He takes over Radar O'Reilly's job of company clerk with reasonable seriousness, eventually getting promoted to Sergeant. Klinger also performs a near pitch-perfect impression/impersonation of Colonel Potter, which he uses several times to manipulate others into giving the unit supplies or information that requires the Colonel's direct approval (which is often hard to obtain, since he is frequently in surgery when needed on the phone).
By the end of the Korean War, Klinger has fallen in love with and married a native Korean woman, Soon Lee (Rosalind Chao). In the final M*A*S*H episode, Klinger reverses his longtime goal to leave Korea, and decides to stay to help search for her relatives (inspired by real US troops choosing to stay in Korea after the war). In the short-lived spin-off, AfterMASH, we learn that soon after the end of the war, Klinger and his wife, having found her family, return to the United States. Klinger, though, has been disowned and ostracized by his own family for marrying a Korean and finds his hometown unwelcoming to a mixed-race couple. In desperation, Klinger resorts to petty crime to make ends meet, and is caught and put on trial. Klinger contacts Colonel Potter seeking help, and a deal is struck, whereby, in exchange for the charges' being dropped, Klinger and his wife will move to St. Louis, Missouri and work at the hospital that Colonel Potter now administrates. Klinger and Soon Lee make the move, and Klinger studies for a Civil Service Exam, while he and Soon Lee await their first baby.
Klinger was the first main character introduced on M*A*S*H not to have appeared in the movie or novel. Originally introduced as a bit character in the early first season episode "Chief Surgeon Who?" as a simple gag of a soldier who wanted out of the Army and was trying to fake his way to a "Section 8" medical discharge, he made such an impression on the producers and audience that he became a recurring character throughout the season, and by the second season was a regular member of the cast.
Miscellaneous
In one episode, Klinger is seen with a bandana around his neck. When Maj. Burns tells him to remove it as it is not military, Klinger refuses, as he said his Ma told him to never take it off. Unlike his other costume choices, this one is wholly sincere. When a further altercation results in Maj. Burns causing Klinger to drop a tray of specimens, Klinger physically attacks him. Moments later, he is on his way back to the post-op ward with a live grenade with the intention of killing Burns. He is confronted by Father Mulcahy, however, and is convinced to return to his normal duties, with the promise that he can keep his scarf. However, the bandanna is rarely seen again worn by Klinger.
Quotes
- Klinger: "Bless you sir" {When Burns and Houlihan want Klinger discharged from the Army}
- Klinger: "Glad your back" {Potter comes back on leave and answers "No" every time Klinger tries to get a discharge on both insanity and medical problems!}
- Colonel Potter: "Every time you lie, your nose gets smaller."
- Klinger: "I'll be back!"
Colonel Potter: "I'll be here." - Klinger: "You can get discharged for being fat?"
- Colonel Potter: "Klinger, this is your personal file... you have no brothers."
Klinger: "Whoever said that was lying."
Colonel Potter: "You said that!"
Klinger: "Right, I was lying." - Klinger: (in a gypsy costume) "My tribe awaits me."
- Henry Blake: (reviewing Klinger's file) "Father dying last year... Mother dying last year... Mother and father dying... Mother, father and older sister dying... Mother dying and older sister pregnant... Older sister dying and mother pregnant... Younger sister pregnant and older sister dying... Here's an oldie but a goodie... half of the family dying, other half pregnant. Klinger, aren't you ashamed of yourself?"
Klinger: "Yes sir... I don't deserve to be in the Army." - Klinger: "Are you in, sir?
Henry Blake: (disgusted by such a stupid question) "No. No, Klinger, this is a film of me. I died about a hundred dollars ago." - Henry Blake: "Klinger, I've never hit a woman before!"
- Henry Blake: "Klinger, it is my considered opinion that no one is going to believe you are pregnant."
- Klinger: "When I was born my father said to my mother, "Thanks a lot for the 8lb baby nose."
- Klinger: "I'm a communist. An atheistic, Marxist, card-carrying, uh..."
Blake: (in a bored tone) "Bolshevik."
Klinger: (misunderstanding "bolshevik" for "bullshit") "No, honest!" - Frank Burns: (Sherman T. Potter had just been selected to take control of the 4077th) "Another week in command, and I would have you out of that dress."
Klinger: "I'm not that easy." - Klinger: "As long as you're filling out a section 8 form, it wouldn't hurt to do another."
- Frank Burns: "Klinger, I want you out of that dress. Tonight!"
Klinger: "Never on a first date, sir!" - Klinger: "Sir... what do I have to do to get out?
Henry Blake: "That's your problem, Klinger. I've got a desk full of my own. Out!" - General Prescott (a visiting brigadier general being treated, responding to Klinger's presentation): "Down, screwball. Bucking for a Section 8 in drag doesn't wash with me. I didn't let my son out for dressing like that, why should I let you? Now you get that hairy drumstick off that chair, or I'll have you plucked and shipped to Leavenworth."
- Burns: You get out of that dress!
Klinger: Not for you or any other man! - Klinger (to a crazed Chinese P.O.W. who ripped his dress strap with a scalpel): "You crazy! You just wrecked a $39 dress! Your people will pay for this!"
- Klinger: Col. Potter, Sir. Corporal Klinger. I'm Section Eight, head to toe. I'm wearing a Warner bra. I play with dolls! My last wish is to be buried in my mother's wedding gown. I'm nuts! I should be out. [They salute.]
Col. Potter: Horse hockey! I've seen these dodges for forty years, all the tricks. Had a soldier pretend he was a mare. Carried a colt in his arms for weeks! Another fellow said he was a daisy. Insisted we water him every morning! No no no, it's not gonna go with me. Now you get out of that froufrou and into a uniform, and you STAY in uniform!
Klinger: Er..
Col. Potter: DISMISSED!!
- Klinger (to Korean girl) This is what happens when you don't eat your vegetables
Trivia
 | This article contains a list of miscellaneous information. (June 2007) |
- Klinger's first wife was Laverne Esposito from the Hungarian side of Toledo
- It was never established what the "Q" stood for in Maxwell Q. Klinger.
- Series writer Larry Gelbart stated during the M*A*S*H* 30th Anniversary Reunion special that Klinger's antics were inspired by stories of Lenny Bruce attempting to dodge his own military service by dressing himself as a WAVES member.
- The antics also suggest Joseph Heller's Catch-22.
- Jamie Farr noticed the women's wardrobe in his dressing area on his arrival, and thought at first he'd be sharing the space with a woman. Finding out the clothing was for his character, he was surprised, but took it in stride.
- Early filmed scenes, with Farr performing in a sissyish way, didn't work. Farr suggested his own vision of the character: Klinger was heterosexual, but crazy, thinking it was normal for him to dress like a woman but behave like a man. This version of Klinger clicked on camera, and with the TV audience.
- The dog tags Klinger wore on the show were Jamie Farr's own from when he served in Korea in the United States Army.
- Besides wearing dresses for a Section 8, another running joke is Klinger's feud with his mortal enemy supply Sgt Zelmo Zale:
- In 5.18, Klinger and Zale are manipulated into a boxing match by Frank Burns, but it's Burns who gets a K.O. from both Klinger and Zale.
- In 5.20, when Zale makes a nasty remark about the Toledo Mudhens, Klinger loses his temper and hits Zale, for which he gets KP duty for a whole month.
- Another running joke are Klinger's infamous uncles:
- Klinger had an Uncle (unnamed} who was a Chicago hitman for $100. {3.11}
- Klinger had an Uncle Zak who used a wedding dress to get out of World War II. He gives it to Margaret for her marriage to Donald (5.25).
- Klinger had an Uncle Gus who "avoided" service in World War I (6.9).
- Klinger had an Uncle Bob who served two years for involment in Toledo's "Payolla Scandal"(6.19).
- Klinger had an Uncle Abdul to whom he writes a letter (8.12).
- KLinger had an Uncle Amos who gives Klinger "sage advice." (10.4)
- Klinger had an Uncle Harry, supposedly the best "whiplash lawyer" in Toledo who is serving a jail sentence of "15 to 25" (10.9).
- Klinger had an Uncle Eustis who is warned not to go outside {10.11).
- Klinger had an Uncle Habib who is serving a jail sentence of "1 to 5"; he sent Klinger a Zoot Suit in (11.2).
- A fourth running joke is Klinger's get rich-quick schemes: only one (11.5) has a real chance to succeed, when Klinger tries to have Major Winchester invest in a hula hoop prototype; unfortunately for Klinger, Winchester's ego ruins any chance of success. In another scheme, (episode 9.11), Klinger tries to practice electronics on the camp's Public Address system so as to make a fortune repairing broken T.V. sets.
- Of all his ploys to get out of the Army, only two had a chance at succeeding: in 6.11 eating his way out (i.e, discharge for being overweight), which fails because his stomach isn't as big as his desire to get out of the service, and in 7.7, wearing a body/water reducing suit during a heatwave, which fails because he can't stand the heat stress after 23 hours. Colonel Potter had agreed to give Klinger a discharge if he could hold out for 24 hours in the suit.
- In one episode Klinger and Winchester get lost-and find they are only 200 yards from MASH 4077. The goof is a scene which shows Klinger on a hill overlooking MASH-despite the fact MASH 4077 is surrounded by a minefield!
- Klinger appears to be Catholic during the first few seasons (mentioning a family priest, as well as the practice of praying to St. Anthony, and observing Lent), then at least once being mentioned as an Atheist (when Father Mulcahy asks why Klinger is praying when he is an Atheist, Klinger replies that he gave it up for Lent).
- The house that Klinger is born in is at 1215 N. Michigan St., Toledo, Ohio 43604.
- Jamie Farr and Alan Alda are the only members of the cast who actually served a tour of duty in Korea.
See also
External links
- Finest-Kind.net - M*A*S*H website with character profile
- Best Care Anywhere - M*A*S*H website with character profile
