Talk:Patient and mortuary neglect

A request has been made for this article to be peer reviewed to receive a broader perspective on how it may be improved. Please make any edits you see fit to improve the quality of this article.

This article was nominated for deletion on 20 March 2008. The result of the discussion was keep and improve.

This article was the subject of an educational assignment that ended on 21 March 2008. Further details are available here.

From a reader's perspective I would recommend finding or making a page with information on all 50 states and then link to just that page. The big white block in the middle of the article isn't too appealing. I also noticed a lack of wikipedia hyperlinks. You would be surprised how much character a few wikipedia hyperlinks add to a page in addition to the feeling of relevance your topic has to others. I look forward to seeing where this goes. Oh and in an episode of HBO's Six Feet Under I remember this occurring (granted that it was accidental). If you find it let me know, our group is doing Forensic entomology and society which includes TV shows and we could link to each others pages.Quatrevingtsix (talk) 03:37, 26 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, guys...make sure you get this page updated as soon as possible, or it will be deleted. Remember how I said not to put up just one paragraph at a time? This is why. Get this done!ABrundage, Texas A&M University (talk) 22:37, 20 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

So the hyperlink that I added for the violations summary is not linking the entire address because of the space in between "SUMMARY" and "OF". When I try to use the hyperlink tool it only shows the "OF VIOLATIONS FY 2007.pdf" as the link. Does anyone know anyway that I could overcome that? Wateka (talk) 17:07, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I fixed it -- you need to use underscores in place of spaces, and single square brackets instead of pointy ones. Also note that blogs (the first two refs) are not reliable sources per WP:RS. – ukexpat (talk) 18:54, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The problem is the link now points to an invalid page. The address contains the spaces, and now with the underscores it won't work. Thanks though for the heads up on the bad references. I'll try to find some acceptable ones. Wateka (talk) 20:52, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

OK I fixed it again, it needed %20 instead of underscores. – ukexpat (talk) 21:29, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Awesome, thank you so much. Wateka (talk) 21:49, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

First, there are three fields of entomology: urban, stored products, and medicolegal. I believe mortuary neglect falls under urban entomology, not medicolegal (which is where forensic entomology falls). I am not sure that the article convinced me of how this falls under Forensic entomology. The subheading about the types of mortuary neglect and the law was a little confusing. I suggest making separate headings: one for the types of neglect and one for cases of neglect or make the cases subheadings of the type of neglect.Garza j e (talk) 21:00, 30 March 2008 (UTC) garza_j_e —Preceding comment was added at 23:44, 29 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Forensic entomology is simply the use of insect evidence in legal proceedings, and that covers wide range of topics.

Technically, there are three areas of forensic entomology: urban, stored product and medicolegal. The type of case tells us which area it falls into. Mortuary neglect is falls under the subject of forensic entomology because it has to do with legal proceedings (neglect) but is not a crime involving living humans (which is medicolegal) so it falls into the urban forensic entomology category. ABrundage, Texas A&M University (talk) 20:51, 31 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Just an idea, under "Case studies" (I believe that was the name of the section..) refer to our book for the course. I'm pretty sure that there are a few mortuary neglect cases included in it. If no one in your group has one, I'd be willing to let you borrow mine! Hope this helps! Lindseyjean11 (talk) 16:30, 1 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

You might want to retitle your "Cases" section something like History. I don't see how the information written under that heading deals specifically with particular cases. Also, with a little more information that section would make a great introduction! Great article, keep up the good work! --Moosenik (talk) 21:45, 12 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review

Just a few pointers here for you:

Your article does not contain a lead section. This goes at the top of the page and provides a general overview of what you are about to say.
Add more internal wiki links on words such as embalming, decomposition, forensic.
Under the heading Types of mortuary neglect and the law, the sub-topics “Washington v. John T. Rhines Co.” and “Christensen v. Superior Court of Los Angeles Count” are out of place. These may need their own section, or be moved to the bottom heading Cases.
Also, some of the sub-sections under Types of mortuary neglect and the law are not well explained. I had to read these a few times to understand what you are talking about. Try adding some real world examples to make the topics more interesting.
One last thing, I suggest moving the Cases heading above the links to state laws. It gets lost at the bottom of the article after the exhausting list of states.
BY the way, this article is REALLY interesting. I really would like to read more real-life examples of the types of abuse that occurs.--Amandamartinez06 (talk) 03:21, 2 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Do you think this article is substantial enough to stand alone or do you think it could be ammended to the Insect Indicators of Abuse or Neglect page? Pinksugar85 (talk) 00:19, 6 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Just some thoughts. When you talk about how neglect could cause flesh flies to inhabit the body a like to Insect indicatiors of abuse and neglect could help your page. Any pictures of improper embalming could help the reader to see what that would be like with a family member in an open-casket. You talk about a 15 step process the NFDA takes but you do not really tell what those steps are. That might be something to think about. Also, the article jumps back and forth on neglect of morgues and hospitals. Sometimes this can make it hard to follow. Crosenbalm (talk) 15:22, 10 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I personally love this topic, i think it can stand alone if you create enough relative links to entomology or Law. more links to other Forensic web pages would help complete this article. awesome work. --heartbreaker5785 (talk)