Wikipedia:Peer review/A Day in the Life/archive2

A Day in the Life

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because I want it to be a GA, and would like some help with what I actually have to do.

Thanks, Cheers, Kodster (Willis) (Look what I can do) 21:56, 11 April 2008 (UTC)

• This article has had an {{in use}} template for over a week, diff. I was going to review it, but won't while it is undergoing a major revision. Sorry, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 01:01, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: There is a lot of material here and it is mostly well written and referenced, which is a very good start. Here are some suggestions to "take a bad song and make it better" (I know, not this song, and this is not bad):

• A model article is useful to follow for structure, ideas, etc Fortunately there are five Beatles FAs and they are all songs, see here.
• The lead needs to be expanded per WP:LEAD and needs to summarize the whole article. My rule of thumb is that if it is a header, it should be at least mentioned in the lead.
  • done
• The article's structure is odd - "Credits" should go at the very end (see the models) and might be better titled Personnel (following the Hey Jude model). The song's inspriation and composition are broken up into several sections, with the Song structure breaking things up in the middle. I can understand perhaps describing the structure so the composition in the studio section is clearer, but it could also be that the problem (missing middle) could be briefly described, then the studio solution, then give the structure as a separate section after all the composition.
  • done
• There is not really a critical reception section - there is information in Recognition on best of lists it made, but what did the critics of the day think of the song? Was it nominated for awards? What chart positions did it reach?
  • done
• I read for comprehension, not to proof reading, but I noticed several typos and MOS issues. Refs come right after punctuation, missing a close quote, missing space between a ref and a following sentence, etc.
  • done
• Put things into context for the reader - the caption on the album cover missing the song does not identify it as being released in SE Asia, for example.
  • done

Hope this helps, you may want to ask another reviewer for feedback at WP:PRV Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 23:52, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

Some quick comments (and I mean quick...

)

• No cover art of anything?
• "For other uses, see A Day in the Life (disambiguation)." - probably not necessary per WP:HAT
• "It was later decided that a partly-improvised crescendo by an orchestra would serve as the bridge. The supposed drug reference in the line "I'd love to turn you on" resulted in the banning of the song by the BBC." - musical content and reception shouldn't be in the same paragraph...
  • done
• [1] - arguably unnecessary use of a fair use image
• A few short paragraphs (especially in reception) could be expanded or merged

Might take a longer look later... dihydrogen monoxide (H₂O) 11:01, 21 April 2008 (UTC)