User talk:Indra~enwiki
On the serious note I thought one of the bigger invention this era has seen, condoms will always find a place in it. Way before in 17th century Sir Isaac Newton predicted that earth won’t go beyond 2060 with the current species but we people have managed to do so despite that alarming global warming… in fact as we see the major fear that we are living under is that our main functionality (i.e. reproduction) has become our own enemy. We don’t know whether nature knew we would invent something like condom.
This means we are able to defy our nature a little bit. Coooolllll !!!
Human being lives very predictable life [though we often cry over life being unpredictable, which definitely brings the idea of creating another thread and discuss it over there], sometimes miracles do happen with an individual. In fact those miracles are happening every second in the universe with some crazy probability.
It means those astounding events are not miracles at all, it is just like falling under those probability once in a while.
Which strengthen my beliefs of which I read once “God, devil, heaven and hell: none of these exists, but the thought they embody are the product of absolute brilliance.”
Frequently in dreams I see myself falling from heights. In those dreams I am not able to face those sudden changes. I close my eyes and firmly fix my jaws together to see myself lying on the ground in red. Feelings of awe and eagerness increases my excitement to no end, but before hitting the grounds I evaporate somewhere else.
I do not know why I want every day to pass and wait for next day, though I know nothing is going to change tomorrow except some date and time. Moments look so heavy sometimes that I wish I could spill high powered drugs into my mouth and close my eyes to see beyond what I can actually see and choke my ears with my fingers to listen those unheard sagas, which is like somebody is moaning, he has lost his voice, he wants it to come out because it is exploding in his own throat. He is in pain... when I try to visualize this non-existent creature, it looks like me.
I am getting more rigid day after day. Everything inside me will be broken one day. It seems everything around me is struggling and I am the reason why they are looking so.
Sometimes I consider myself as a parasite on a human body which is taking up all the resources needed by a human body and in return giving back anger, frustration and a need of high all the time.
when emptiness fills me within, darkness takes dawn and memories of those sad moments bring insane grin on my face, this parasite enjoys my blood and I feel like obliged.
It is not allowing what a human is supposed to do. To socialize and to co-operate in helping each other let live and to build better societies.
Apart from these damn society concepts, we have our physical and emotional needs, which I ignore till the time I enjoy this parasite and when humanity wins over I threw it off my back and runs towards those who look alike.
I try to mingle with them and it feels like "to whom I am interacting with?", certainly I don't belong to somee of those unwanted frequencies. I feel like a fool, among some crap talks. Some of their talks are real pain in the neck and in whatever. All of a sudden that parasite appears on my back, begging me to take him back again to a world which he calls his own. That world does consist humans and living objects for sure, but they are all having independent existence. He would be taken back.
Are we here to just build societies, to fuck, to reproduce another alike fool and to buy a bigger mansion, bigger than the one that father had from his salaries? My idea of a better life is somewhat different which can not be measured by above mentioned parameters, which deserves to be expored. I remain confused and expect the world would be fair to me. It would not happen, as a matter of fact I do not see it happening at all.
But the process in itself is a mixture of fun and frustration. Certainly I am not capable to go on and on right now. There are higher risk that I will slip down in the abyss of darkness finding myself alone there forever or this need of high, all the time, will make me a sick or druggist.
So far I am not aware of my hell-bents. As always future has kept all the rights to answer these questions and I like a blind man will find my ways out of here.
Lost in my loneliest moments I try to come back, intuitively I call my old friends. It brings back the smiles when we talk about how we lived those crazy moments and how we used to look like, how much weight we have put on etc etc.
Endless talks go on and on, till we realize that something has really changed and that is causing some gap. We want to behave like before, ...damn, how many things have changed! a lot of things? not much..but some have ...indeed.
Now I have more intense desire to do the right things only. I am having some differences in thoughts with guys unlike yesteryears. Perhaps it is their own weaknesses which they have adopted on their way to life or my lack of wisdom, due to which I just fail to communicate it properly or they just care too much for me. Some hot discussions and few question bombarded are just common scenes.
Is this yet another process of learning something, I am started feeling like "Friends are not forever, they will be forever for sure but they are meant for a specific time period". Afterwards you will try to be for each other but you will never be in sync, he will expect something and you will respond in other words, in other manner, in fact sometime negatively opposite to what he had expected from you... from your older version rather.