Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Ian Johnson (cricketer)
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I believe this article—part of a Featured Topic drive focusing on the Australian cricket team in England in 1948—meets the featured article criteria. The article has had a peer review and is fully and widely referenced, comprehensive and written from a neutral point of view. This is a self-nomination. Mattinbgn\talk 12:48, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
Comments - sources look good, links all checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:54, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
Comments
- "He captained the Australian team in 17 Tests, winning 7 and losing 5." - you should explain this, since what I first thought when seeing it was, "But 7+5=12, not 17." Are there draws?
- Yes, and now mentioned in the lead -- Mattinbgn\talk 00:32, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
- "Despite this record, his term as national captain was best known for the loss..." -> "Despite this record he was best known as the captain who lost...", less confusing.
- A much better wording, thanks -- Mattinbgn\talk 00:32, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
- "Johnson made his first-class cricket debut, aged 17, for Victoria in..." -> "Johnson made his first-class cricket debut at age 17 for Victoria in..."
- Agreed and changed -- Mattinbgn\talk 00:32, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
- "The tour of the West Indies later that season was a cricketing and diplomatic triumph for Johnson; the Australians winning the series comfortably while avoiding the disturbances surrounding the visit to the islands by the English 12 months earlier." - this just sounds rather... awkward. Could you rephrase it?
- Reworded and, I hope, improved. -- Mattinbgn\talk 00:50, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
- "he retired from all forms of cricket aged 39." -> "he retired from all forms of cricket at age 39."
- Agreed and changed -- Mattinbgn\talk 00:32, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
Prose doesn't look bad in general. Nousernamesleft (talk) 16:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
- Thank you. I would be interested in hearing further suggestions etc. if you have them. -- Mattinbgn\talk 00:50, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
- Comment "Aged only 16, and still a schoolboy at Wesley College," → "16 years old and still a schoolboy at Wesley College,"? Gary King (talk) 17:26, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
- I don't really like starting a sentence with figures if I can avoid it. If you are still uncomfortable with the wording I will see what I can do. -- Mattinbgn\talk 00:36, 5 July 2008 (UTC)