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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Dweller (talk | contribs) at 10:24, 9 July 2008 (→Ian Johnson (cricketer): +2). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Ian Johnson (cricketer)

Nominator(s): Mattinbgn\talk
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I believe this article—part of a Featured Topic drive focusing on the Australian cricket team in England in 1948—meets the featured article criteria. The article has had a peer review and is fully and widely referenced, comprehensive and written from a neutral point of view. This is a self-nomination. Mattinbgn\talk 12:48, 4 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments - sources look good, links all checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:54, 4 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • "He captained the Australian team in 17 Tests, winning 7 and losing 5." - you should explain this, since what I first thought when seeing it was, "But 7+5=12, not 17." Are there draws?
  • "Despite this record, his term as national captain was best known for the loss..." -> "Despite this record he was best known as the captain who lost...", less confusing.
  • "Johnson made his first-class cricket debut, aged 17, for Victoria in..." -> "Johnson made his first-class cricket debut at age 17 for Victoria in..."
  • "The tour of the West Indies later that season was a cricketing and diplomatic triumph for Johnson; the Australians winning the series comfortably while avoiding the disturbances surrounding the visit to the islands by the English 12 months earlier." - this just sounds rather... awkward. Could you rephrase it?
  • "he retired from all forms of cricket aged 39." -> "he retired from all forms of cricket at age 39."

Prose doesn't look bad in general. Nousernamesleft (talk) 16:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. I would be interested in hearing further suggestions etc. if you have them. -- Mattinbgn\talk 00:50, 5 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Ah yes, that is a very good point. It should be "Sixteen years old..."; and yeah, I feel uncomfortable specifically with "Aged only 16", which just doesn't sound very natural to me. Gary King (talk) 05:29, 5 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments - Will the cricket articles ever stop coming here? Until they do, I guess another review is in order.

  • "with a firther 5 drawn." Typo.
  • Only recently added, but should have been picked up. Thanks. -- Mattinbgn\talk
  • Test career, Debut and early Test career: "and the match was drawn; Johnson failing to take a wicket. This is awkward and I recommend changing to "failed to take a wicket." Works better with the semi-colon.
  • Bradman's Invincibles: "Johnson was one of Don Bradman's team touring England in 1948." I would put it as "Johnson was a member of...".
  • Decline in form: Why is The Ashes in italics here?
  • "Johnson had another lean series; taking only eight wickets at an average of 32.75." Change the semi-colon into a comma.
  • Yep -- 01:56, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
  • Captaincy, Selection: "cricket establishment; an alumnus..." Try cricket establishment; he was an alumnus...".
  • Ashes defeat: Ashes in italics again. I haven't seen this in the other cricket articles I've looked at.
  • during the match, however..." I would prefer a semi-colon here.
  • Caribbean success: "With the "White Australian policy" in place at time." At the time.
  • Johnson cultivated an relaxed manner with the locals" Typo an→a.

It's a very good piece, but I am finding some punctuation oddities. It wouldn't hurt to have someone do a quick check for more. Giants2008 (talk) 01:24, 5 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I will see who I can find. -- Mattinbgn\talk 01:56, 5 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Comments by User:Dweller
  • I find his batting record so sub-mediocre that I'm questioning the description of him as a "bowling all-rounder". In 1st class cricket he barely broke 20 as an average and in Tests it was below 20. 2 hundreds in nearly 200 matches; even allowing for the lower scores of his era, I think that's a generous and POV description. The fact that he played most innings at number 8 in the order and had most success at 8 and 10 (see Stats Guru) seems to back up my assertion.
  • More POV alert (or OR) "Despite this record, he is best known as the captain who lost consecutive Ashes series against England." Unsourced - and there's no legacy section where such a claim could be discussed and reffed.
  • "He would not play first-class cricket again for three years". Presumably because he was deemed not good enough, but to avoid OR, do you have a source?
  • "He secured his place in the Victorian team in the 1939–40 season" Parag is already talking about that season? Did those performances secure the place? Puzzled.
  • "making his Sheffield Shield debut against South Australia in Adelaide in November 1939" He's already played 4 1st class matches. Were they not Shield games? Specify.

Still working on it. --Dweller (talk) 10:24, 9 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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