Customs and etiquette in Hawaii

Because of its unique location, history, and ethnically diverse population, Hawai‘i residents observe a variety of different customs from the various ethnic groups that make up the Islands' population. Most of these customs come from its large percentage of people of Asian ancestry. Nevertheless, these customs are widely observed by the people in Hawai‘i, regardless of individual ethnicity. What is considered proper etiquette there is often different from that observed on U.S. mainland. People who move to Hawai‘i from elsewhere sometimes run into difficulties when dealing with local people due to cultural differences.

Below is a partial list of general and ethnically specific customs and etiquette that are widely observed in the Islands.

General customs

• The customary way to welcome or congratulate someone is to present him or her with a lei, a garland of flowers (or other decorative items) strung together and worn around the neck. One puts the lei over the recipient's head and if the relationship is close, gives the recipient a honihoni or a kiss. Leis are especially appropriate for high school and college graduations, birthdays etc. Children often appreciate candy or money leis.

• Everyone is expected to remove his/her footwear before entering a home or other place of residence (Garages don't count!).

Visits and gifts

• When visiting a home, it is considered good manners to bring a small gift (for example, a dessert) for one's host.

• For some families, offers of gifts should (at first) generally be refused in a light-hearted (though not joking) manner. If the gift-giver persists, accept graciously.

• It is considered thoughtful to bring back gifts from a trip for friends and family. Some people use the Japanese name for such gifts, omiyage. Gifts of special foods unavailable outside the region visited are particularily appropriate.

Driving

• Drivers in Hawaii are generally easy-going and courteous, almost to a fault. In general, one should avoid using his or her car horn except to warn of an imminent accident.

• If someone makes a point of letting you change lanes, turn onto the street from a driveway, or any other act of courtesy, it is polite to give a shaka sign or wave one hand in thanks.

The birthday luau

• It is customary for Hawai‘i families, regardless of ethnicity, to hold a lū‘au to celebrate a child's first birthday. In Hawaiian culture (and also in Korean culture), the first birthday is considered a major milestone.

Wedding customs

• It is customary for a Japanese-American bride to fold 1,001 paper cranes prior to her wedding for good luck and long life. (The traditional Japanese custom calls for 1,000; people in Hawaii add one more for good luck.)

• At Japanese weddings, it is customary for friends and relatives to offer "banzai" toasts to the bride and groom, wishing them long life.

• It is customary at Hawaii weddings, especially at Filipino weddings, for the bride and groom to do a "money dance" (also called the pandango). As the bride and groom dance, the guests express their best wishes to the newlyweds with a monetary gift.

For visitors from the "mainland"

• It is considered impolite to refer to the U.S. mainland as "the States" or to otherwise imply that Hawaii is not part of the U.S. Asking, "Do you accept American money?" or "How do you like the United States?" would be considered rude and not very intelligent.

• It is rude to refer to the locals as "natives". Only native Hawaiians should be called "Hawaiians". Everyone else is referred to as "Hawaii resident".

• It is also considered boorish to visit Hawaii with the idea that everyone lives in huts and wears grass skirts and coconut bras. Although there are some regional differences, people in Hawaii generally wear American-style clothing and live in standard American-style houses.

• Unless fluent, one should not attempt to speak pidgin English.

• If you are "white", do not be upset if someone calls you a haole. The Hawaiian word "haole" as now used just means "white" or "Caucasian"; it originally meant foreigner. It does not have a negative connotation in itself unless used in a derogatory manner. Pay attention to the speaker's tone of voice, not the word.