Quark (TV series)
Quark was an unusual NBC television sitcom, based on a science fiction theme, starring Richard Benjamin. The pilot first aired in May 1977. The series first aired on NBC in February, 1978, and was last aired in April the same year. It was created by Buck Henry, who had been co-creator of the legendary spy spoof Get Smart. Despite the short run of the series, which was mainly due to it being a mis-season replacement series, it has developed a very favorable reputation among science fiction fandom.
The show was set on an interstellar garbage scow named the United Galaxies Sanitation Patrol Cruiser, operating out of United Galaxies Space Station Perma 1 commanded by Otto Palindrome, played by Conrad Janis, in the year 2222. The main character, Adam Quark, works to clean up trash in space; unfortunately for Quark, circumstance frequently plop adventure into his lap.
In its short run, Quark satirized such science fiction classics as Star Wars, 2001: A Space Odyssey and Flash Gordon. Three of the episodes were clearly intended as satires on classic episodes of Star Trek.
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Characters
Adam Quark (Richard Benjamin) is a Commander who longs for a glamoruous, important assignment and ends up collecting trash instead. Nonetheless he is skilled and competent, albiet extraordinarily unlucky.
The Bettys {the Barnstable Twins} are the naviragtors and pilots of the ship. They are completely identical, complete with identical red-hot passion for Quark. One of them is a clone of the other, but neither has a clue which is which. They have a tendency to speak in perfect unison and have the exact same thought at exactly the same time.
Gene Jean {Tim Thomerson} is a transmete, a humanoid being with a complete set of both male and female chromosones. He/she serves as the ship's engineer. The gender confusion manifests in a split personailty -- when Gene's male side is in control he's gung-ho, angry and violent, while the Jean personailty is pacifistic and a bit of a coward. He/she will frequently swicth personalities with no warning.
Ficus {Richard Kelton} is a Vegeton, a member of a race of sentient plant life. He is of human appearance, and while he is extreemly intelligent and observant he is incapable of any sort of human emotion -- including tact. He frequently finds the behavuor of the rest of the crew difficult to understand, and thus somewhat annoying.
Andy is a not-at-all-human-looking robot. Despite the image of a hard-wrokign robot, he is actually lazy and more than a little cowardly.
Otto Palindrome {Conrad Janis} is the man in charge of Perma 1 who gives Commander Quark his assignments. He is the quintessential bureaucrat -- a nightmare tyrant to his underlings and a quivering toady towards his superiors. He seems to take a special delight in making Quark's life miserable.
The Head (Alan Calliou} is the being to whom Palindrome answers. He is usually seen as a disembodies head with an enormous cranium. He is detached from day-to-day events but has a low tolerance for failure and a tendency to come up with bizarre tasks for Quark to accomplish -- usually at the worst possible time.
Episodes
| Episode | First airdate | Summary |
|---|---|---|
| Pilot | 7 May, 1977 | |
| "May the Source Be with You" | 2 February, 1978 | Perma One is in a state of emergency as Gorgon has created the ultimate weapon to defeat the United Galaxy. Quark is given the secret weapon, the Source, by Palindrome. Quark must believe completely in the Source in order to defeat Gorgon |
| "The Old and the Beautiful" | 3 March, 1978 | Expecting his usual garbage hauling assignment, Quark is excited to hear that the Head has authorized an "extended romantic interlude" with Princess Carna of Kamamor. Troubles ensue when the crew encounters a stray space baggy carrying a virus which ages Quark 2 years for every hour. |
| "The Good, the Bad and the Ficus" | 10 March, 1978 | While on a routine mission, the ship is accidentally pulled into a black hole, which splits the crew into good and evil counterparts. The exception is Ficus, who remains the same because "there are no good or evil plants, there are just plants." After Quark confronts his evil self on a nearby asteroid, he defeats him and sends the evil crew back through the black hole. As the evil crew is being sent back we hear the evil Adam Quark say "Keep your deflectors up do-gooder! You haven't seen the last of this face!" |
| "Goodbye Polumbus" | 17 March, 1978 | Quark and his crew are sent on a suicidal mission to Polumbus to discover why no one has returned alive. Quark and his crew fall prey to their fantasies as part of a feindish plot by the dreaded Gorgons to drain the minds of the United Galaxy's most brilliant scientists. Quark encounters a beautiful dream girl, Ficus encounters a teacher, the Bettys encounter clones of Quark, and Gene/Jean encounters Zoltar the Magnificent. In order to save his crew, Quark must destroy the obilisk and free the "clay people". |
| "All the Emporor's Quasi-Norms (1)" | 24 March, 1978 | While on a routine mission, Quark and his crew is captured by Zargon the Malevolent (Played by The Wild, Wild West star Ross Martin), who tries to learn from Quark what "it" is and where to find "it". Meanwhile, the Zargon's daughter, Princess Libido, has fallen in love with Ficus. He agrees to a meeting with Princess Libido and teaches her to "pollinate". Andy and Gene/Jean escape and disguise themselves as Gorgon scientists and Gene/Jean is asked to give a lecture on "it". The episode-ending cliffhanger has Quark horrified to realize that the location for "it" that he gave as a bluff has turned out to be asbolutely correct.... |
| "All the Emporor's Quasi-Norms (2)" | 31 March, 1978 | Ficus sacrifices himself and marries Princess Libido to save the crew. Quark and the Bettys are sent down to the planet to be eaten by a Lizigoth, but are saved by The Baron. The baron gives "it" to Quark, leading Quark to believe he is invincible when in fact "it" is nothing more than a powerless rock. Quark returns to Zargon's ship, defeats Zargon anyway, and leaves the planet with his crew after Zargon accidentally shoots Libido, freing Ficus from his obligation to her. Unfortunately, when Quark tries to report on what happened Palindrome has absolutely no interest.... |
| "Vanessa 38-24-36" | 7 April, 1978 | For Holiday Number 11 Quark is given a new ship computer named Vanessa by Palindrome, which will have complete control over the ship. Vanessa tries to destroy Quark and his crew to prove her superiority. Quark is able to disable Vanessa and throw her down the garbage hatch. In the last scene we see Vanessa drifting through space and singing "Born Free". |