Monstrous Regiment (novel)
| Publisher | Doubleday |
|---|
Terry Pratchett is known for his combining of political and social commentary with humor, and for readable, interesting fantasy. Published in 2003 as a part of his Discworld series, his 28th novel Monstrous Regiment takes its name from the misogynist 16th century tract by John Knox, the full title of which is The First Blast of the Trumpet Against the Monstrous Regiment of Women.
Template:Spoiler The book is set in Borogravia, a country that is in dire straits because the populace worships the dying god Nuggan, who in his death throes has decreed (among other things) that crop rotation, women wearing men's clothes and doing men's work, the color blue, chocolate, and sneezing are all Abominations. By attempting to do nothing Abominable, the Borogravians have reduced themselves to a starving, bellicose nation. Borogravia is supposedly ruled by a Duchess, who is also worshipped, but no one has seen her for decades.
In the midst of a war started by a Borogravian assault on the communication system of Ankh-Morpork (it was an Abomination unto Nuggan), Polly Perks decides to go into the army in an effort to find her brother Paul, who is missing in action. She runs away and enlists in another town under the assumed name of Oliver Perks ("Oliver" from the folk song Sweet Polly Oliver). Among the other recruits for the Tenth Regiment are an Igor, a troll, and a vampire.
On the recruits' way to get weapons, uniforms, supplies, and training, Polly, now known as "Ozzer", has an opportunity to look at the other recruits. Almost immediately she discovers that there is another woman in the regiment: Lofty, who apparently joined to be with her boyfriend, Tonker. She also confronts Corporal Strappi, the regiment's bully and a "political" (a soldier who spies on other soldiers and reports any technical violations of obscure regulations) who later deserts when word comes that they will be sent into action.
The night Strappi deserts, Polly discovers that Shufti, another private, is also a woman in disguise. She has joined to go looking for the father of her unborn and illegitimate child. When she realizes this, Maledict, the vampire, calls her aside and tells her that he, too, has been noticing that there are many girls in disguise.
An enemy cavalry detachment, alerted to the regiment's presence by Strappi, comes looking for the young recruits. Two of them harass Polly, who has found a dress and convinced them that she is a barmaid. She knocks them out. The remaining cavalry attack the other members of the regiment, who easily overcome them and take them prisoner. While Igor is patching one of the prisoners up, Sargeant Jackrum interrogates the leader. They are interrupted by an impressed reporter from Ankh-Morpork, William de Worde. During the commotion, Strappi sneaks back and steals Maledict's coffee and Polly's hair.
Maledict tells Polly that Tonker is actually yet another woman, and distracts Polly from her initial confusion by pointing out that she (though apparently male) is wearing a dress. Polly sees that Private "Wazzer" Goom, an extremely religious "boy", curtsies instead of bows to "his" portrait of the Duchess. The morning after the run-in with the cavalry, Shufti brings up the fact that most of the privates are, in fact, women. Polly and Jade (the troll) own up to their femininity.
That night, they stay at a house whose owners were killed by Borogravian deserters. This leads to a general sense of disquiet and a growing suspicion in Polly's mind that Borogravia is actually losing the war. Maledict discovers his coffee beans are missing and is extremely distraught because he, being a "reformed" vampire, has transferred his longing for blood to a craving for coffee. The members of the regiment also start to get to know each other. Lofty, Tonker, and Wazzer all come from Polly's town, where they were abused by their caretakers and employers. As they leave the campground, Lofty sets the house on fire.
On their way to join the remains of the army, they encounter and capture an enemy mobile clacks unit (a directional torch-light with a shutterand opening, used to transmit morse code at night). Later, they again run into the reporter from Ankh-Morpork, who tells them that they are losing the war, that they will be slaughtered if they go to the front, and that they should stop being so stubborn. Lt. Blouse uses this opportunity to suggest that the squad intends to rally a force of deserters and unit remnants in the mountains, which prevents the enemy from invading Borogravia, as they fear a flanking attack (or counter-invasion) by the non-existant force. Using the captured mobile clacks and the accompanying codebook to pretend to be the original operators, they send a signal claiming that there is a massive force of Borogravian irregulars camped in the mountains, further enhancing the deception.
After arriving in the valley where the main army is camped, the squad is able to see the utter futility of joining up with the main force: the massive Borogravian command fortress known as "The Keep" has been taken in a sneak attack, and the Borogravian army is laying a futile siege to recapture it. The squad comes up with a plan to retake a fortress: that they enter the fortress by dressing as washerwomen and release the prisoners held there. Although this plan is rather cliche and stupid, even by Borogravian standards, the women know that they have another advantage: who would expect a woman to dress up as a man to dress up as a woman?
Unfortunately, Blouse airily informs his 'men' that they are incapable of acting like women and so he will be the one to go, as he often played women in school-theatre. Jackrum, who has developed a dislike for the officer, agrees and says that he will stay with his "little lads." Maledict's inability to access coffee has reached the point where he is reverting to vampirism, and, just as he starts to go on the attack, a sack of coffee beans falls out of the sky, apparently at Wazzer's prayerful bidding, but in actual fact a gift of the airborne unit of the Ankh-Morpork city-watch (a gnome on a buzzard), who has been following the squad for some time. The watch commander (and current ally of Borogravia's enemies), Sam Vimes, is planning for a quick end to the war without too much bloodshed, so that humanitarian aid can reach Borogravia before food runs out in the winter. The squad is part of this plan, as explained later.
Jackrum takes them to the Borogravian camp, where they tell him that they must also try their hand at getting into the castle disguised as washerwomen. He relents and lets them all go (except for Jade the troll and Maledict, who is still recovering from his lack of coffee). They find dresses and attempt to get in, but are stayed by the guards. Shufti lifts her skirt and Tonker throws a temper tantrum in order to prove their identity as females, and they find Blouse ("Daphne"), who is still convinced they are all actually men. He is the only one of the group who did not have to partially undress or throw a tantrum to convince the guards that he was female.
They leave the wash and go in search of the dungeons. As they pass through the crypts they are confronted with a bunch of zombies. The Duchess possesses Wazzer and convinces the Borogravian military dead to leave them alone. As they leave the crypt, they are identified as soldiers and recaptured and locked in a kitchen. Lofty uses an improvised flourdust-bomb to blow the door off their cell, and they release the prisoners.
The released prisoners praise the monstrous regiment's deeds until it is discovered that the men who disguised themselves as women really are women. This horrid infraction of the Abominations is brought to the attention of several officers of the Borogravian Army. Strappi, who has reappeared as a Captain, testifies against them, but Jackrum (who has led an external attack on the keep once the main gate was opened from within) clears the matter up by pointing out that many important generals of the Army are also women. Faced with this and the Duchess's reappearance in Wazzer, the generals let the girls go.
Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork meets with Polly and Maledict and reunites Polly with her brother. He explains his plan to the girls, and congratulates them on a job well done. When asked why he would support the independence of Borogravia, Vimes explains that his country does not want Borogravia's main enemy to become a large, powerful country that could endanger Ankh-Morpork's interests. He suggests that his country is willing to prop up Borogravia provided the more absurd aspects of Nugganite culture are removed (so that the country can actually function)
Later, Maledict confesses that she is actually Maledicta, and then Wazzer, no longer the Duchess, leads the Borogravian army in an assault on their own capital in order to depose Nuggan once and for all.
Before this assault, Polly confronts Jackrum, who admits that she, also, is a woman. Polly tells her that she should go and find her son and pretend to be his father (Jackrum thinks he'd dislike the reality-that the obscene, obese sergeant is actually his mother), and she does.
That winter, the country manages to struggle through without too much starvation. Lofty and Tonker burn down their old school and steal a great deal of money, Shufti moves into Polly's old inn, and Wazzer becomes a cared-for member of the royal family's household. That summer, as Borogravia once again gets into a dipute with a neighboring country, Polly and several others rejoin the army, this time openly as women, in an attempt to at least reduce the effect of stupid decisions made by high-command.
Historical/topical references
This story echoes many stories of the Napoleonic Wars (their uniforms are similar to that era), and stories of women becoming men to join the army. Borogravia's Eastern European feel echoes the former Yugoslavia, but the society bears a closer resemblence to Afghanistan under the famously misogynist and theocratic Taliban: Nuggan's ever-increasing list ludicrous "abominations" parallels their stream of bizarre edicts (placing bans on flying kites, brown paper bags and Leonardo di Caprio hairdos). The society worn out by war yet continuing to fight for the last scrap of remaining territory is similar to the state of Afghanistan at the time, while the opposing force the Borogravians are fighting against is known as the "Alliance", perhaps a reference to the Northern Alliance.
Translations
- Podivný regiment (Czech)
- Weiberregiment (German)
- Чудовищная рота (Russian)