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Alfred Jigsaw Quentin Jones

Alfred Jigsaw Quentin Jones (born May 17, 1992 in Bermuda) was a troubled teenager who starred in the movie Donnie Darko.[1]

Life

Early Years

Alfred was crazy about life. That is until he realized that life included something called death. But he saw dead people so that worked out for him.

Work

Alfred's work was to collect Jigsaw puzzles and feed them to rabbits. He liked to go to work at the Tonucci & Partners Legal Firm, although he was not employed there. He worked hard, 9am-5 pm, and his work has been described as exemplary! But it was puzzling that he worked with puzzles. That puzzled his employers.

Personality

It is said that Alfred Jigsaw Jones was angered over the BBC's jab at the Mexicans.[2] But the Mexicans didn't seem to have a problem with it.

Education

He attended the Strange Personas High-School of Anaheim, CA. He graduated Sooner Cum Later. He was president of the Puzzle Club. He was also in the Pizza Club.

Demise

After a short but debilitating illness which was somewhat of a puzzle to his doctors, Alfred slipped away. He has been largely forgotten ever since and some pieces of his life have been lost forever, probably behind his sofa. But the dog ate some of them so his life was all for sh*t.

Resurrection

Alfred is rumoured to have returned to life. Proof is said to be found in the final scene of the movie The Jigsaw of Life [1] where Alfred makes an unmistakable cameo appearance. There are those, however, who discount this alleged appearance as a complete hoax, perpetrated by one of Alfred's former classmates.

Putting it all together

Alas, there is really nothing to add here. A sad case! He drove a Chevette though...so there's that... and that's that unless that is this.

UPDATE!!!

He's now dead again.

references