Wikipedia:Good article reassessment/Dreamlover (song)/1

Dreamlover (song)

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Result pending

I am nominating this article for reassessment as I believe that the review concluded earlier today failed to address criterion 1(a) of the good article criteria: "the prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct;" Examples of poor prose include:

Is was written by Carey and Dave Hall, and produced by the former and Walter Afanasieff. Ungrammatical, poor phrasing.
The song became the first of Carey's transition into the pop market, following the mixed reception to her previous studio effort Emotions (1991), which contained gospel and 1960s soul influences. "became the first of Carey's transition into the pop market"? Ungrammatical
The song's music video was filmed at upstate New York during August of 1993 by Diane Martel. "at upstate New York"
The video was complimented by author Chris Nickson for its resemblance to the song's music and arrangement, as well as its carefree vibe Ungrammatical
Due to the song's strong charting, the video received heavy rotation of several music video channels. Incorrect word choice
Aside from the seven songs taken from Carey's demo tape, four other tracks were written and produced by the former and an array of famed record producers. weasel word "famed"
The album was complimented by critics, who called it a mature debut, full of various genre influences ranging from pop, R&B and soul. "various" poor word choice
While making a strong impact on pop music, Carey became interested in altering her sound, and deviating from pop music for her second studio effort, Emotions (1991) Poor word choice
During the album's recording, Carey yielded to several different musicians and producers, aside from Walter Afanasieff, the only hold over from her debut.[Very poor prose.
Emotions contained influences from mostly 1950's, 60's and 70's balladry and gospel, as well as her continued work of R&B and soul. "mostly"?
Following these events, Columbia decided to try and market Carey in a similar fashion to her debut, only having her produce a more commercial and radio-friendly album. Ungrammatical, unclear, poor prose.
Carey decided to use the hook in a new and more innovative way then she thought she had ever heard it. Ungrammatical, "then"?
She claimed having heard the hook being used in several different songs and tunes, but "never like this." Tense
Additionally, Hall expressed how the song's title was not developed until the end of its production ungrammatical.
After completing the song, Carey's fiancé at the time, and her soon to be husband, Tommy Mottola came to hear the song in the studio. After giving their take on "Dreamlover", he expressed mixed feelings towards the song, then approaching Walter Afanasieff to add some needed instrumentation and flavor to it. Who is the "they" of "their"?
On the issue dated August 23, 1993, "Dreamlover" entered the Australian Singles Chart at number forty-one, eventually reaching a peak of number seven and spending a total of twenty-one consecutive weeks inside the chart. On the issue of what?
On the UK Singles Chart, "Dreamlover" reached at its peak position of number nine, during the week of September 4, 1993. "reached at its peak position of number nine"?
As the video begins, Carey is seen swimming underwater with clothing, soon gasping for air and climbing into the flower bed above. "with clothing"?
Following promotion for her seventh studio effort Rainbow, Carey filmed a Fox Broadcasting Company special titled The Mariah Carey Homecoming Special, a mini-concert filmed at Carey's old high school in Huntington, New York airing on December 21, 1999. change of tense
Similarly, during her two following Daydream and Butterfly World Tours, Carey featured her three female background singers up front on stage with her, while they performed small dance numbers alongside her. Clumsy - ungrammatical
On Carey's Charmbracelet and The Adventures of Mimi Tours, three male back up dancers were featured on stage, apart from the three female background vocalists behind them. "up dancers"?

These are the outstanding examples of very poor prose. I believe that the article should not have been listed in this poor state. I also believe that full credits for all of the personnel involved in a single release should be included, to ensure broadness of coverage. Nominator and reviewer will be informed. Jezhotwells (talk) 03:43, 22 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]