Cotton Hill
Cotton Lyndal Hill (voiced by Toby Huss) is a fictional character in the animated series King of the Hill. He is Hank Hill's father and a World War II hero who had his shins "blowed off by a Japanman's machine gun" in combat, making him a foot shorter than his fellow family members and causing a characteristic waddle (according to Hank, Cotton was 6'4" (1.93 m) with his shins, 5'0" (1.52) without). Cotton talks down to women, berates his son, is prone to violent outbursts, and on more than one occasion has exhibited homicidal tendencies. His abrasive, misogynistic manner is consistently embarrassing for Hank and usually infuriating for Hank’s wife, Peggy. Cotton never addresses Peggy by name, instead calling her "Hank’s wife."
On rare occasions Cotton shows a vulnerable side that he normally keeps hidden: He realizes that he was a terrible father, hates himself for growing old and becoming disabled, and readily admits that he would die to protect his grandson, Bobby. Through tough love and intense physical therapy, Cotton also helped Peggy walk again after a debilitating accident.
Cotton is zealously proud of his military service record and his status as a war hero, although he tends to exaggerate his exploits. He consistently reminds everyone within earshot about how he lost his shins during World War II:
- "I was 14, just a little older than Bobby. But I knew Uncle Sam needed me, so I lied and signed up. We had beat the Nazzys in Italy, and they shipped me to the Pacific theater. A Tojo torpedo sent our troop ship to the bottom. I could only save three of my buddies: Fatty, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kind of like you fellas (Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer), only one of them was from Brooklyn. Out of the sun came a Tojo Zero and put fitty bullets in my back. The blood attracted sharks. I had to give 'em Fatty. Then things took a turn for the worse. I made it to an island, but it was full of Tojos! They were spitting on the U.S. flag! So I rushed 'em, but it was a trap. They opened fire and blew my shins off. Last thing I remember, I beat 'em all to death with a big piece of Fatty. I woke up in a field hospital, and they were sewing my feet to my knees." –from Episode 1.8 ("Shins of the Father")
If Cotton's story is to be believed, he was born around 1927, making him about 70 in the first season of the show. In a third season episode, Hank says Cotton is 75. Of course, he also claimed to have fought in both Munich and Okinawa within a matter of weeks of each other, so this should all be taken with a grain of salt.
Before leaving Japan, Cotton had an affair with a Japanese nurse in which he conceived his first son (and Hank's older half-brother), Junichiro. After the war, Cotton supervised the installation of asbestos in eleven bowling alleys and every public school in Heimlich County.
Cotton is divorced from Hank's mother, Tillie. At age 75, Cotton fathered a third son named G.H. (Good Hank) with his second wife, absent-minded Didi Hill, who is about the same age as Hank.
Trivia
- Cotton once tried to take a rowboat to Cuba and assassinate Fidel Castro.
- Cotton once claimed that he's had sex with more than 600 women during his life; this may be true, considering his penchant for prostitutes.
- He once re-declared war on Japan.
- He may be based on real Texas war hero Audie Murphy who, like Cotton, elisted young and is said to have killed 50 men, although Murphy fought in Europe rather than in the Pacific. Murphy also was wounded in the buttocks, in something of an analogy to Cotton's destroyed shins.