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QI Series H
StarringAlan Davies
Guest panellists
No. of episodes16
Release
Original networkBBC One
Original release17 September 2010 (2010-09-17) –
14 January 2011 (2011-01-14)
Season chronology
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Series G
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Series I

This is a list of episodes of QI, the BBC comedy panel game television programme hosted by Stephen Fry. Series H was aired on BBC One. It was the first series of the show to be aired in high definition (HD).

Episodes

As with the previous series, series H featured a total of 16 editions. During recordings, there was a return of the game that Stephen Fry had set up for his Twitter followers during the previous series through AudioBoo. As before, the object was to decipher a word the audience shouts out, this time for words beginning with the letter "H". Debutant panellists for this series were; Chris Addison, Clare Balding, Eddie Izzard, John Lloyd, Ross Noble, Daniel Radcliffe, Ruby Wax and Robert Webb. Lloyd is QI's creator and former producer, while Izzard was a panellist in the unaired pilot of the programme, but until this series had yet to feature in the actual televised show.

Episode 1 "Hodge Podge"

Broadcast date
  • 17 Sept 2010
Recording date
  • 19 May 2010
Panellists
Notes
  • Sean Lock was originally planned to appear on the panel, but was stranded on the Isle of Man and unable to arrive in time. Phill Jupitus stepped in at the last minute to replace him.
Buzzers
  • Jack – Booming bell noise
  • Phill – Tea bell noise
  • Ross – Ring-a-Ding-Ding!
  • Alan – The forfeit alarm with a forfeit of "Minus 10" shown on the screen.
Topics
  • Bankers prefer long-haired men and short-skirted women because, by coincidence, all the booms in the 20th century occurred when shorter skirts and longer hair were in fashion, and all the recessions happened when longer skirts and shorter hair were in fashion.
  • Halitosis was entirely made-up by Lambert Pharmacal, the company behind Listerine, named after Joseph Lister, the so-called father of antiseptic surgery. Weirdly the antiseptic used in surgeries was also used to clean floors and used as a cure for gonorrhoea, then as a mouthwash without changing the formula. The reason they made up halitosis was so they could sell the mouthwash, because there wasn't a need for it before, so the company made claims such as "hotel clerks say one in three guests checking in have halitosis" and "dentists say 83% of patients have halitosis". Mints were also invented to mask "dog breath" and get rid of halitosis.
Tangent: Alan tells of the time when he had to hold a koala and while it ate its eucalyptus leaves, its breath still smelt sweet.
Tangent: If you cut 2 wedges off a cylinder whose height is the same size as its length, then it can fit through a circular, square and triangular hole.
General Ignorance
Tangent: In 2005, a Burmese Python tried to eat an alligator in the Everglades National Park, Florida, but it exploded as the alligator tried to get out, so they both died. The main reason that there are so many Burmese Pythons in Florida is that many are pets, but many escape to the swamps, which they find similar to their habitat in Burma.
  • If a British judge wants order in the courtroom, he wouldn't (forfeit) bang his gavel, as British judges have never used them. The only people in the UK who use them are auctioneers. Oddly though, there is a picture of Stephen as a judge with a gavel, and Jack was in the television programme, Kingdom (which Stephen was in also), where he played a judge with a gavel, which leads Alan to suggest that that was another reason for why it was axed.
QI XL Extras
Tangent: People buy more perishable foods, such as meat and fish in a boom, and pasta is bought mainly in a bust, because it has a longer shelf life.
Tangent: The panellists are given some left-handed items to try out, such as a Biro, a pencil sharpener, a pair of scissors and a can opener. The word "sinister" derives from the Latin for "left". If you're ambisinistrous, you can't use either hand well, the opposite of ambidextrous. Jack actually once went to a left-handed shop to buy a present for his left-handed sister, but he crashed into the door, because the door was placed correctly for a left-handed person.
Tangent: Alan struggles with getting the "cylinder" through the holes, and gets frustrated when he's still not allowed to use the gun.
General Ignorance
Tangent: Discussion about Robert Newton, pirate speak and International Talk Like a Pirate Day, as previously mentioned in Series "E".

Episode 2 "Hanatomy"

Broadcast date
  • 24 Sept 2010
Recording date
  • 5 May 2010
Panellists
Buzzers

Stephen prompts the audience to greet the guests in a series of ways, which is recorded and became their buzzers:

  • Sue – "a big hand" (applause)
  • Bill – "a hearty cheer" (audience calls yay!)
  • Gyles – "hip hip horray" (audience hip hip horray)
  • Alan – "a hair raising scream" (audience screams)
Topics
  • Palmistry has never been proven, that your hands cannot tell the future (forfeit), but the ridges of your hand can tell you about your health, i.e.: your past. Francis Galton discovered the ridges, and decades later down's syndrome was discovered to show signs on the palms, and by the 1920s, more than 20 illnesses and conditions have been shown on the palms.
Tangent: Palmistry was a favourite topic of famous individuals such as Oscar Wilde. Also, Alan Davis pulls a wire on a skeleton prop to prod Stephen, but it topples over and breaks.
  • Marcel Proust had a limp handshake, as the panel associated with homosexuality. Marcel was not outed as a homosexual, and even visited brothels to try to convert himself. He deliberately kept a limp handshake as a double-bluff to assert his appearance as straight. Handshakes are said to reveal personality.
Tangent: Gyles tells a story about a known individual who may have had a "limp handshake" and who learned the North African custom of lightly touching hands instead of gripping them in a handshake. He demonstrates the handshake on Sue, but realizes by the end of the story, he wasn't thinking of the correct individual; Fry suggests that Brandreth was probably thinking of André Gide.
  • Trepanning or the drilling of a hole to the head, was performed in Papua New Guinea, with more success than if performed in Europe, due to blood infections from less sanitary surgeries in Europe (forfeit: Just Here - Alan points to the top of his head when asked where would be the best place for trepanning). In New Guinea, they made the incision with found objects, like a sharp stone, and sterilized the wound with coconut milk afterwards. European hospitals of the 19th Century were rife with infection, and the exposed area, though operated on with more sophisticated methods, was more prone to infection and had only a 20% chance of survival. Open brain surgery occurs consciously sometimes so you know where you are operating, and what systems you are interfering with.
  • Authentic shrunken heads come from Ecuador and were made by the Shuar tribe. All the skin must be removed as a single piece, the skin must be scraped out, the lips must be bound and the eyes stitched, filled with stones and boiled, then smoked. This was an aggressive gesture. The tribe was notoriously fierce, having in 1599, poured molten gold down a Spanish governor's throat until his bowels burst, a repayment for his greed for gold. The tribe is also known for poison arrows.
  • When asked to draw the Queen's face on a blank coin, all the panellists believe she was facing left (forfeit). She has always faced right, though she faces left on the stamp. Images of each monarch will alternate between facing left and right when appearing on a coin, so the Queen's father George VI had a left facing coin, and presumably Prince Charles will. This has happened ever since Charles II. It is allegedly to do with right handedness, a natural presumption of a profile.
General Ignorance
  • If you have a nosebleed you should not (forfeit) tilt back, since the blood could return through the canals in the eyes, or down your throat to the lungs. A common cause for the nosebleed is being punched in the face, or blowing your nose too hard. It should resolve itself after a few minutes, but if longer than 20, it is advised to seek medical help.
  • It is impossible to swallow your tongue. The fear is the tongue may block your airway, but it is impossible for it to go down your throat.
  • Cracking knuckles does not cause arthritis. A science experiment was performed over 60 years where one hand had cracked knuckles, the other didn't. Both hands were examined and seemed equal for the potential for arthritis; cracking caused no noticeable damage.
QI XL Extras
Tangent: The opening scene in the first episode of Proust's novel In Search of Lost Time involves the narrator of the story dunking his madeleine cake in a cup of tea. The bulk of the novel consists of memories that flow from the sense memory of the tea and cake, which reminds the author of his childhood. A "madeleine moment" is one which brings forth lots of memories.
  • Famous people who experienced trepanning include Prince Rupert (nephew of Charles I) and Prince Philip of Nassau. In 1591 alone the latter prince had himself drilled into 27 times, but lived. He later went on to win a drinking competition against someone who died from alcohol-induced shock.
  • Imagery involving a decapitated saint brings to question where the halo should appear, suggesting the body or the head, or both. Saint Denis was represented in art with a glowing area above his neck and a halo at his head. Pope Gregory the Great was represented in some images with a squared halo, which was used for people who were still alive (and therefore not yet beatified) at the time of the painting.
Tangent: Some cultures have halos represented on other anatomical parts, as Gyles described a painting that showed a halo around the penis of Saint Joseph.
  • When you comb a ball covered with fur, it proves impossible to do it smoothly; it requires a bit of a twirl at the top of the head "the crown", otherwise it will have a cow lick. This can be proven mathematically using the Euler characteristic and other mathematical concepts. Most men have a clockwise pattern in their hair, only 8% men have it anti-clockwise, but 30% of gay men do, potentially being a physiological indicator of sexuality.
Tangent: The panel is given a fur covered ball and asked to comb it flat, attempting to demonstrate how impossible it is, and how hair naturally needs swirls and directions. They then go on to discus the fact that the comb over is a patented invention, while Bill Bailey demonstrates his rebellion by combing his hair over.
  • The hula hoop boomed in 1958. That year it was a massive craze, and it disappeared as fast as it came. It failed to make any money, since the companies had stockpiles still waiting to be sold when the demand vanished. There was a thought that it was brought around by a fad surrounding Elvis and his swivelling hips. There was a similar fad in the 1990s in China, but also public panic, since a few children were entered in hospital due to "twisted intestines", though that was unlikely to have been caused by the hula hoop.

Episode 3 "Hoaxes"

Broadcast date
  • 1 Oct 2010
Recording date
  • 1 June 2010
Panellists
Buzzers

Stephen says that one of the buzzer noises is a hoax, while the others are the mating call of a deer:

  • Sean – Deer noise.
  • Danny – Deer noise.
  • David – Deer noise.
  • Alan – Billy Connolly saying "Hello Dear!"
Theme

Each of the panel have a "Hoax card". If the panel think they have spotted something that is a hoax, they can play their hoax card for bonus points. If they get it wrong they lose points.

Topics
  • A crop circle was commissioned by the BBC by three professional crop circle makers with a plank and rope. The crop circle was of the QI logo, in Wiltshire, with permission by a local landowner. Someone contacted the BBC, asking whether or not the crop circle was "real" or "man-made," baffling Stephen. Crop circles have been made since only the 1970s, Doug Bower and Dave Chorley admitting to being responsible for a large percent.
Tangent: Danny Baker used his hoax card, but was incorrect and had a forfeit.
  • The moon landing is not a hoax, though many people may believe it. Astronauts and former NASA scientists get so frustrated, and Buzz Aldrin actually punched a disbeliever who had also called Aldrin a liar and a coward. 6% of Americans and 25% of Britons do not believe the moon landing actually happened. The "breeze" in the video is actually inertia. The fact that a camera is not seen in the reflection of a space helmet, is that the camera was chest mounted. The public's perception of Hollywood-style special effects is what confuses the audience. That the Soviet Union did not contest the fact that the moon landing happened is the biggest evidence enough, as during the Cold War, they were NASA's biggest competition, and would have raised the most objection.
Tangent: Sean Lock suggests NASA may have killed Michael Jackson for stealing the term 'moonwalk', and David opines that Buzz Aldrin may have done it because he is clearly an angry individual.
  • A bet between Samuel Beazley and Theodore Hook in 1810 was to make one house "the most famous house in London" over the period of one week. During the week, commercial services were ordered to all converge at the same location. Four thousand different tradesmen and services were requested for the house in one day. A dozen chimney sweeps arrived in the morning, and were soon joined by cake makers, apothecaries, doctors, lawyers, fishmongers, haberdashers, milliners, etc. Other than the choice of location, the two men had no connection to Mrs. Tottenham, who owned the house.
  • After a lifetime of studying fish, Stephen Jay Gould decided that there was no such thing as "fish". Biologically speaking, a salmon is more related to a camel than a hagfish. Just because they are sea-dwelling creatures doesn't mean they are more or less related to each other. Essentially, there is no common evolutionary ancestor for all species of fish such that the ancestor is not also an ancestor of non-fish species like mammals.
  • Nostradamus' quatrain predictions are nonsense in that they can't be proven. However he did have a near-perfect recipe for cherry jam. It is still viable as a recipe today.
Tangent: Alan suggested that was a hoax with Sean's support. The fact was not a hoax and they had a forfeit.
  • The most famous person to be beaten by a machine at chess was Napoleon. He played chess with the Mechanical Turk, which contained a man hidden inside the cabinet.
General Ignorance
  • Listening to a person's cadence and how they are speaking is a more reliable way to detect lying than trying to find a visual clue. (Forfeit: it's in the eyes)
  • Oranges are not always orange. The ones in the supermarket are grown green and the fruit companies use a gas to remove the chlorophyll. (Forfeit: They're orange)
  • The chemical smell of swimming pools is not chlorine. You add chlorine to get rid of the chloromines. (Forfeit: Chlorine)
QI XL Extras
  • The alien connection to crop circles is mentioned in connection to the Nazca Lines, which some theories describe as marking points or runways for alien spaceships. The lines themselves have only remained because of the dryness of the climate in Peru, and the panel speculates they may not have been drawn with the intention of them lasting.
Tangent: The second largest crop in some states is marijuana (corn being the largest). Alan suggests that cauliflower is in decline of production (reciting potentially made-up statistics), and Stephen professes his love of cauliflower-cheese. Sean finds it frustrating.
  • 400,000 people were employed to work on the moon landing, including the 12 astronauts who landed on the moon.
  • Huge sums of money were gambled on absurd bets amongst the leisure classes during the Regency period. Clubs such as Brooks's and White's had such bets. For example, there was a £3,000 bet between Lord Alvanley and a friend on the landing and timing of raindrops. In comparison, a servant cost around £10 a year.
  • The broken-rays mussel has an outcrop of its shell that looks like a fish, in order to lure other fish to disperse its larvae for it.
Tangent: "How many fish are in this picture?" Forfeit: There's no such thing as fish.
  • In 1989 American magic trick maker John Gaughan reproduced the Mechanical Turk costing $120,000.
  • The best way to make a squad of American soldiers panic in a plane is to make them think it is crashing. American soldiers were used to test panic scenarios on a plane (the pilot cuts one of the engines claiming it is damaged), and are given a questionnaire to rate their stress and recall personal information. It showed that people who genuinely think they are going to die are lousy at giving information.
Tangent: David Mitchell used his hoax card and was also proved wrong.
  • Stephen re-visits the concept that a person cannot lick their own elbow, and removes the points given to Danny on the very first show. A member of the audience shows that she is able to, in fact lick her own elbow.
  • When discussing the natural colour of oranges, Sean tells a story of working in an orange grove in an Israeli kibbutz and he claims that the oranges grown there were orange coloured. Sean got the sack for sleeping on the job when he was meant to be working on irrigation pipes. As with most of Sean's stories, this may not be true.
Note

There was no hoax within the hoax game. The program was entirely true.

Episode 4 "Humans"

Broadcast date
  • 8 October 2010
Recording date
  • 9 June 2010
Panellists
Buzzers
  • Jo – Swampy, primordial noises
  • Jimmy – Dinosaur growls
  • Jack – Monkey screams and chatter
  • Alan – Crowd chanting a song supporting Arsenal F.C..
Topics
  • The "Perfect Man" – Most species have a holotype, which is a standard shape to which other individuals are compared. Humanity does not have a holotype, though Linnaeus gave Homo sapiens its nomenclature, so it was felt the honour should go to him. The next aspirant, a scientist, was disqualified because he had syphilis, which affected his skeleton. Bob Hope, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Raquel Welch were all nominated as "perfect" or the standard for humanity. Vitruvian Man demonstrates the dimensions of the human. The height is the length of the arms outstretched perpendicularly as a square, and when arms are spread at an angle with legs, it fits a circle. The image appears on the one Euro coin in Italy.
  • The Neanderthal man looked more like a member of the public than you realize. If, for example, a Neanderthal were dressed in a T-shirt and other modern clothes, they might go unnoticed in today's crowds. Neanderthals lived contemporaneously with Homo sapiens (modern humans) for some time, and the two species did interbreed, though the Neanderthals eventually died out entirely, for unknown reasons. Neanderthal is named for a region in Germany where they were discovered.
  • The part of the human body which is evolving the quickest is the nose, which has changed the most over the past 10,000 years. It is theorised that humans' relationship with dogs has removed humans' need for an acute sense of smell, so the ability has atrophied.
Tangent: Hippopotami spin their tails to spread their faeces over a wider area to mark territory. The topic was brought up because Jo claims to have heard "revolving" when Stephen asked what part of them is evolving the quickest- to which she replied "my propeller".
  • Hero Syndrome is a psychological disorder in which sufferers cause scenarios where they appear to save the day, like setting a building on fire in order to rescue residents and be seen as a hero. Firemen have a higher probability for this illness. A news reporter, Wallace Souza, was allegedly responsible for the commission of five murders in order to go on reporting about the case.
  • Human parts as a commodity: the individual pieces or elements are quite low cost, although specialized organs are quite expensive, for example the corneas of the eyes. The whole body would work up to about ₤420,000 including trace metals and full organs.
  • Teenagers think differently than adults. A test was performed to demonstrate emotional recognition: adults could accurately discern the emotions displayed in facial photographs, whereas the teenagers could not. Teenagers use a different way of thinking, and rely on different parts of their brains.
General Ignorance
  • The fastest human runner (forfeit: Usain Bolt) is identified by a set of fossilized footprints near Willandra Lakes, Southeast Australia. The runner appears to be running at over 23 mph, based on analysis of the prints (spacing, depth of indentation, etc.).
  • Male mosquitoes buzz, and do not give malaria. Half the people who have ever lived have died from diseases spread by mosquitoes (such as malaria). Bill Gates and Warren Buffett are part of a foundation whose goal is to cure malaria. (forfeit: malaria)
QI XL Extras
Tangent: Alan once portrayed a dog on a radio show.
Tangent: It is impossible for a person to pass on an acquired trait or skill to the next generation genetically. For example, because people text a lot the next generation will have flat thumbs - this is not true.
  • Genuine fossils do not react to UV light, while if there is plastic in a counterfeit fossil, it will glow.
Tangent: Jo tells a story how Peter Stringfellow would not allow overweight women to enter his club just in case they broke his antique chairs.
  • Human evolution may be slowing down as we build around us in order to make our world easier. The part of the body that has changed most recently is the nose, since dogs were domesticated 15,000 years ago, we don't need to have a more heightened sense of smell. With changes in nutrition, people are getting taller in recent generations.
  • Cortical homunculi are drawings of people, but with the parts of the body in proportion to the portion of the brain that is responsible for navigating its sensation. Each panellist was represented as a cortical homunculus, and had large hands, ears and tongues, and emaciated arms and legs. Dr.Wilder Penfield came up with the concept.
  • There are 100 billion brain cells in the brain, and each cell may contain between 1,000–10,000 synapses. The brain is 80% water.
  • The naked mole rat is a recent discovery in the animal kingdom, though it is neither a mole, nor a rat. It is a rodent. It is a social mammal that lives underground, nearly like an ant farm. They do not have "substance p," a neurotransmitter that projects pain.
Tangent: Jimmy and Jack tell stories of a German cannibal who requested for a victim in advertisements. He found someone who was happy to volunteer and was ultimately eaten.
  • Saunas are not good at releasing "toxins" from the body; they actually dehydrate your body and release sweat, removing the essential salts. Boxers and jockeys use them to lose weight in a short period of time.

Episode 5 "H Animals"

Broadcast date
  • 15 October 2010
Recording date
  • 7 June 2010
Panellists
Buzzers
  • Sean – Distant trumpeting
  • Ruby – Squeaky toy
  • Ross – Foghorn
  • Alan – Trumpeting with a crash
Topics
  • Animals with horns are suggested (forfeit: unicorn, rhinoceros), though many of them are confused with antlers. A true horn is made out of bone. A rhino's "horn" is technically hair or fingernail related, as it is made from keratin. Antlers are shed (typically annually), and horns are permanent. Antelope, horned toads and buffalo all have proper horns, where deer and moose have antlers.
  • A late 18th century nun grew a horn in her head as her nunnery was being invaded by Napoleonic troops. She banged her head for a long period of time and eventually grew a horn, though it had to be cut off to keep it from piercing her eye.
Tangent: Ruby Wax has a difficult time understanding Ross Noble's Geordie accent. He was mentioning an evolutionary hypothesis and Ruby interjected with "are you speaking English?". Stephen asks, "have you ever heard a Geordie accent?" and Ruby replies with "not from something whose hair has never been combed". Ross then assures her he is a real panellist and not just a prop or creature that was on the projector.
  • If you put a hippopotamus in the deep end of a swimming pool, it would sink and would walk along the shallow end of the pool. Hippos also can float, but not swim. If at the bottom of a river, they walk to the shallower end of a river and climb embankments. With no embankment, a hippo will have a difficult or impossible time getting out of a swimming pool. Hippos have four teeth when they are full grown (Sean says "forty" though it might have sounded like "four teeth"). They are difficult to kill by gun, since their hide is so thick, weighing nearly a ton. Hippos do not get sunburned as once thought; their skin goes red as an external moisturizing technique.
Tangent: Sean tells a story about completing a plan where pushing a hippo into a pool was the ultimate goal. Ross keeps interjecting the conversation with sidelines like, "how many hippos are killed by pushing into swimming pools each year".
  • Hammerhead sharks have eyes on the protrusions of their faces, increasing their depth perception greatly, to keep aware of prey, however the precise reason is still unknown to science. They are bottom feeders, eating flatfish and stingrays, and can detect camouflaged animals under sand. They have structures called the Ampullae of Lorenzini that detect electrical impulses in the movement of muscles, so even a disguised fish's breathing or heart beating will reveal it. Sharks have rows of teeth on a kind of conveyor belt of teeth.
Tangent: Swimming with dolphins is mentioned. Sean says the worst would be if they rejected you, swimming away while a therapist and family look on, with the patient ultimately having to "continue with the medication". Dolphins are also quite violent in the wild.
Tangent: After a series of wrong answers, Sean suggests his information was coming from Jordan.
  • Hagfish release an incredible amount of slime as a defence mechanism. A hagfish can turn 20 litres of water into slime in a single minute. It can tie itself into a knot.
Tangent: Ross wants to be a super hero based on the powers of a hagfish. He suggests his mucous can help people; for example if a child happens to have his head stuck in the railings etc. Alan would rather have hippo powers, being bulletproof, run at 35 mph and only having to brush 4 teeth in the morning. Ross suggests Alan's archenemy would be Sean who is constantly pushing him into swimming pools.
  • Aspirated water from a humpback whale is tested to see trends in health, seeing if any illness will be translated to humans. Scientists use a toy helicopter to fly over a surfacing whale to collect the samples when the whale spouts. The data is used to keep track of the illness spread through the different pods, since they travel thousands of miles over the ocean.
  • Justin Schmidt has devoted his life to his study called the Schmidt Sting Pain Index where he has subjected himself to numerous species of stinging insects, and grades the pain from each exposure as an almost wine-tasting description. "Pure, intense, brilliant pain, like fire-walking over charcoal with a three inch nail in your heel" is the description for bullet ant.
General Ignorance
  • Three animals are shown on a screen, the panel is asked to identify them. They look like hedgehogs, shrews, mice, but are unrelated animals that evolved separately in Madagascar and are known as tenrecs. The point is they fit the gaps in the ecosystem where hedgehogs, mice, shrews, etc. would be in other areas.
  • While showing video of two hares fighting, the panel was asked what they were fighting over (forfeit - a female). It was one female, fighting off the advances of an aggressive male.
  • Rhino horn is not used as an aphrodisiac in Chinese medicine. It is thought to reduce fevers, though this is unlikely to be true, being how it is like ingesting hair or fingernails and expecting that to work.
QI XL Extras
  • Dolphins may get overexcited and stimulated if even casually touched "below the waistline". Dolphins are also quite violent in the wild, which is often overlooked.

Tangent: Ross tells a story of a friend who wanted to steal a squid from an aquarium in a carrier bag. Once he found one that was waterproof, the handles broke under the weight of the water. He specified that it needed to be a plastic carrier bag, as he had to take it home on the bus.

  • Hamsters have been used on testing cures for jet lag. It has been show that taking viagra may relieve eastward bound jet lag.
  • Honeybees are easily pacified by smoke because it alarms them into thinking they are under attack. The bees then eat as much of their honey as they can, making them bloated, tired and docile. Scientists can interpret the dances of bees and understand the directional instructions that they are giving. If a bee is given cocaine it will greatly exaggerate the source, it would become "boastful". This is similar to how the drug would behave on people. 85% of all bee species are non-colony bees. 75% of all fruit is pollinated by bats, not bees.
  • The world's most aggressive mammal is the honey badger (10 points to the audience). Scientific American says that pound for pound it is the most fearsome land animal because it is so aggressive with such big claws. The honey badger is not of the same family as the European badger, other than a similar colouring and shape, though they do eat honey, using a bird called a honeyguide. They will attack anything, including lions, hyenas and cobras; animals known for their viciousness have been bested by honey badgers, which is about the size of a cat. They attack by clawing the testicles of an animal, and have been witnessed castrating a full grown buffalo.

Episode 6 "Happiness"

Broadcast date
  • 22 October 2010
Recording date
  • 11 May 2010
Panellists
Buzzers
  • Andy – man cackling
  • Rich – lady chortling
  • Phill – gentleman belly laughter
  • Alan – woman laughing and snorting
Theme

The 'Pleasure Gauge' measures the audience's happiness. If the needle enters the red zone the panellists win points.

Topics
  • Equality and the lack of disparity between rich and poor leads the country to have a more happy outlook. Britain's gap between rich and poor has widened 10% since 1984, consequently leaving the country "less happy". There is no unit of happiness, and therefore the empirical measurement of happiness is difficult. Specific events (like a lottery win or car accident) can make a person's mood more or less happy, but they will eventually level out to the state they were in before the event. Bhutan is the first country to record the gross national happiness, though it was also tested in Slough, where prioritizing daily laughter, watching less television and cultivating a positive outlook were encouraged, and a 33% upswing was seen in their life satisfaction index.
Note: Rich, Andy and Phill get audience approval through the Pleasure Gauge.
Tangent: The panel decides that giving towns like Slough more fun names may make them happier places to be, suggestions including Yippee! Woo-hoo! and Hot Diggity!
  • The Dunbar number is the limit a person has to maintaining friendships. It was calculated a person can have a maximum of 150 friends, defined as people whom you would not feel "embarrassed to join at the bar of the transit lounge of Hong Kong airport at 3am". Groups of 150 people are statistically significant in human anthropology, including tribe sizes, religious groups and village households, as well as the number of Christmas cards an average person would send, and the average number of friends a person has on Facebook. This is the widest definition of friendship, however.
Note: Alan gets audience approval through the Pleasure Gauge.
  • Smile interpretation is a key to telling whether someone is genuinely pleased to meet you. Facial cues, such as "smiling with one's eyes", have only been studied since the 19th century when French scientist Guillaume Duchenne tried electrocuting people's faces into smiling, while having "unsmiling eyes". Making your eyes smile is an involuntary response; you can't force your eyes to look more sincere. The false smile is known as a Pan Am Smile where a genuine smile is known as a Duchenne smile.
Note: Alan gets audience approval through the Pleasure Gauge.
  • Waiters draw smiley faces on the bill in order to get a bigger tip, and it works. If a server introduces themselves, tells a joke and keeps the customers entertained, their tip will be bigger. This is perceived as better service. America is the country that tips the best, where 20% is considered fair, and it is mandatory. In Britain, 10% is considered the norm, but typically 8% is left. The Welsh are the best tippers in the UK.
  • Florence Nightingale did her most influential work when she was in bed. When she came back from the Crimean war, it was revealed that patients under her care had an abysmal chance of survival, and she felt her career and reputation were over. She stayed in bed for over 50 years, writing letters and campaigning to make up for her failures in Crimea.
General Ignorance
  • Africa's dominant animal predator is the hyena, considering numbers of kills. Lions will more likely scavenge the kill of a hyena, than the reverse. The hyena's laughter is a submissive noise.
Tangent: Actors use a technique of emptying their lungs in order to create believable laughter. The natural inclination is to take a breath before a false laugh, but true laughter is notable from the breathlessness it causes.
  • The five pound note is made from a cotton blend, not (forfeit) paper. Paper is too fragile.
  • As you age, your general mood and disposition is typically fixed. There is no evidence of people becoming grumpier or more depressed as they age. Disposition changes very little after the age of 30.
QI XL Extras

Tangent: When Phill was about 10 he found a serious mining disaster which killed around 400 people in India funny because it took place at the Wankie Colliery.

  • On the topic of tipping: Singapore discourages tipping, as does Japan.
  • In 1910, it was predicted that the world would die of mass hysterical laughter because of Halley's Comet approaching. The theory was that the nitrogen in the tail of the comet would combine with the atmosphere of the earth, producing nitrous oxide which would cause uncontrollable giggles. This didn't happen. A man laughed himself to death while watching the Goodies. He laughed uncontrollably for 25 minutes and the strain caused him to have a heart attack and die.
Note: Alan gets audience approval through the Pleasure Gauge.
Tangent: Alan's goddaughter laughed uncontrollably when watching a YouTube video of people falling off escalators in a succession like dominoes.
Tangent: Rich tells a story of the funniest thing he had ever seen: During an interview with John McCririck, the two had to get out of a boat. McCririck promptly fell, but pretended it hadn't happened. Because the interview was continuing, the crew was unable to laugh until two hours later while driving away.
  • The original 'Mr. Happiness' considered using corpses (forfeit: gnomes) to "cheer up" his front garden. Jeremy Bentham was one of the founders of utilitarianism, where happiness was measured and scored for "the greatest good for the greatest number". He requested council permission to replace his shrubberies with hanging corpses for the benefit of mankind. His will instructed that his corpse be preserved and kept in a cabinet as an "auto-icon" at the University College of London.
  • A species of bee drinks the salts of the tears of deer. There are three species that drink out of the eyeball, even of humans.

Episode 7 "Horrible" (Halloween Special)

Broadcast date
  • 29 October 2010
Recording date
  • 25 May 2010
Panellists
Buzzers
  • Chris - a man saying "Euuuugggghh!"
  • Dara - a man saying "That is disgusting!"
  • Sean - a person vomiting
  • Alan - "Hello, I'm Piers Morgan."
Theme

The set is decorated with spiders webs and Halloween themed props.

Topics
  • The tongue-eating louse latches on to the tongue of a fish, drains it of blood and fluid, and replaces it in the mouth of the fish. The fish continues its life believing the parasite is its tongue. The fish does not die, it shares the food with the louse inadvertently. There is also a parasite that lives off the bones of dead whales after it sinks to the bottom of the ocean. It is covered in a thick mucous and is known as a Snot Flower. Tapeworms do not cause people to eat more. It is a misapprehension, since having a tapeworm will cause a person to lose appetite. Tapeworms can be up to 8 meters long, and live in you for up to 20 years
  • The key ingredient in the world's "nastiest" cocktail is a severed human toe (forfeit: Malibu). A bar in Dawson City in Canada is famous for its "Sour Toe Cocktail", where a severed toe is offered in a drink, and the patron's lips have to touch the toe as the drink is consumed before passing the toe to the next glass. It is a gross-out challenge that has been around the 1960s when the proprietor of the hotel bar discovered a preserved, pickled toe in a hunting cabin. The toe was accidentally swallowed in 1980, and has been replaced by a number of donated toes. About 35,000 have taken the challenge.
  • When you are trying to remove a leech, it is better to let the leech drop off itself than rip it off or burn it off. The leech will put in some anticoagulant so if it is ripped off it will continue to bleed, but if the leech falls off itself, it will seal the wound. Leeches are used in scientific research for bloodletting and in microsurgery for blood vessels.
  • Bonnie and Clyde syndrome is a fetish where typically a woman falls in love with a terribly violent criminal. Hybristophilia is one of the few paraphilias that more women have than men. An estimated 100 women in Britain are engaged to American criminals on death row. The emphasis is that the criminals are not petty in any way, they are murderers of the most gruesome and cruel kind. It is speculated that one of the reasons some women choose this kind of man is their need to care for or morally cleanse the criminal, sometimes due to a strong Christian background. Harpaxophilia is a condition where an individual becomes aroused while being robbed.
  • A pizza topping that eats insects is tomatoes (forfeit: pineapple, anchovies). Tomatoes trap insects in the furry layer of their stems until they die and fall off. As the insect dissolves into the soil, the tomato plant will absorb its nutrients.
  • The expression "to heckle" is derived from the textile trade. A person who would tease out fibers with a comb was known as a heckler. In Dundee the hecklers were known for being trouble makers, and the term was eventually applied to people who would call out and disrupt a show.
Tangent: The panel discuss times where they were heckled as performers.
General Ignorance
  • A snake's tail 'begins' where immediately following its anus, meaning they have surprisingly short tails.
  • The dimensions of a 2x4 piece of wood is not 2x4 inches; it is typically closer to 1.5 x 3.5 inches.
  • Scandinavian rotting fish called Surströmming is banned from aeroplanes, and can allegedly cause birds to fall from the sky from its stench. Herring is fermented and putrefied in a barrel with not enough salt to cure it. The can is designed to buckle as it expands from the gases produced by the decomposition. It is apparently tasty, but the smell is incredibly foul. Stephen explains that if he opened the tin, the smell would never leave the studio.
QI XL Extras
Tangent: It was suggested to Dara that the only way to get rid of a tapeworm is to starve yourself and then wave some steak in front of your mouth. This was told by a 16 year old girl that Dara was attempting to chat up.
  • A "good reason" to put a frog to your mouth is to drink the water that is inside of it. The water holding frog (Litoria paltycephala) is an Australian frog that engorges itself before going dormant, and is a source of potable water for a person in need. It was first discovered by the Aborigines. The dormant period it spends in the summer is underground and for several months, as mammals do in the winter. This summertime variation of hibernation is called aestivation.
  • Vaccination was discovered in the early 19th century. Edward Jenner discovered that if you were injected with cowpox, you would be immune to smallpox. Around 1809, the infant son of the King of Spain died of smallpox, and it was declared that everyone in Spain's colonies in South America must be vaccinated. To get the vaccine to the settlements, which were months away by sea, the Spanish government's solution was to gather a load of orphans, and infect them with the vaccine, allowing the blood to develop antibodies and develop an immunity. The technique was successful, saved hundreds of thousands of lives.
Tangent: Smallpox is a nearly extinct disease; with technology and medical health advancements, the disease has nearly been eradicated. In 2002 it was decided that perhaps humanity doesn't have the right to wipe it out entirely, so a small sample has been saved- especially if a vaccine is needed to be made, though it is also feared that another sample may be used to make biological weapons.
Tangent: In the 18th century, it was more likely for you to get a job if you had smallpox scars. It showed the potential employer that you had already had the disease and were not able to pass along the disease to your employers.
  • Handbooks for travellers from 19th century had often strange advice:
    • "Never rub your eyes except with your elbow." Taken from a handbook for travellers in Spain by Richard Ford in 1847.
    • "Keep a spare jewel in case of emergencies in your arm." Taken from The Art of Travel; or, Shifts and Contrivances Available in Wild Countries by Sir Francis Galton in 1872.
    • "Beware the dirty habits of the native cooks, who will often be seen buttering toast with the greasy wing of a fowl." Taken from Hardships in Travel Made Easy.
    • "The Germans are the worst offenders, having a grossness in their way of eating and a gloating zeal in collecting salacious postcards." Also taken from Hardships in Travel Made Easy.

Episode 8 "Hypothetical"

Broadcast date
  • 5 November 2010
Recording date
  • 26 May 2010
Panellists
Notes
  • Stephen introduces the episode as the 99th recorded episode and to celebrate, the show's creator John Lloyd joins the panel. Because Stephen saved John's name for last, Alan accidentally applauded for himself.
Buzzers
  • Sandi - "Umm"
  • Johnny - "Hmm"
  • John - "Ooh, umm"
  • Alan - "Sir! Sir! I know! Me, sir!"
Theme
  • The questions are supposed to be hypothetical and without any "correct" answer.
Topics
  • To weigh your own head, the easiest way would be to put it in a bucket of water and measure the water displacement (forfeit: cut it off). This uses the Archimedes concept of buoyancy and displacement. With air cavities being lighter than water and cranial bones being denser than water the two figures are averaged out to get a reasonably accurate measurement. A CT Scan can give a more accurate measure and give you greater detail of the density of every part of the body. The average head weighs 12 pounds, as studied in the University of Sydney.
Tangent: John recalls an old joke "Do you want to lose 12 pounds of unsightly fat? Cut off your head."
Tangent: Sandi's grandfather had two glass eyes, a bloodshot one and a matching one for his working eye. The bloodshot eye was referred to as the "party eye". He used to put in his bloodshot one when he was going out for the evening and would say he would not return until his eyes matched.
Tangent: Sir Walter Raleigh's wife kept his severed head in a red velvet bag for 30 years. Stephen mistakenly introduced the tangent by asking about Sir Francis Drake, when he really meant Raleigh.
  • Hypothermia has a curious side effect of paradoxical undressing. This may be a mental or physiological condition; it is unknown as people who have reached this state of hypothermia are the least likely to survive. One theory is that the hot feeling comes from opening blood vessels at the surface of the skin reacting and dying due to the cold. Hypothermia tends to start when the body temperature falls below 35 degrees. Being accustomed to the cold by living in a typically more frigid part of the world makes one less likely to experience hypothermia, as presumably being closer to a hot climate would make you more tolerant to conditions like heat stroke.
Tangent: Lewis Pugh could control his own body temperature and is the only person known to science who can knowingly raise his own temperature. He claims it has to do with his endurance swimming training and instinctively is able to alter his temperature in anticipation.
Tangent: Sadhu people of India can also control their body temperature. They apparently have the ability to dry wet towels with their touch.
  • Quickfire Hypotheticals: Special for the Hypothetical episode.
    • A tree falling in the forest may or may not make a sound, depending on if one asks a semanticist or a neurologist. A sound may be something that is perceived by the vibration of the ear drum or the vibration of the source of the sound. (forfeit: no)
    • There is no semantic explanation of left and right, therefore it would be impossible to describe right and left to an alien in a distant galaxy verbally without a visual cue or common reference point. Also, it might be the case that the alien might not be symmetrical and would have no need to know left and right. (The way John remembers right and left is by looking at his right thumb which he sucked as a child. Sandi then tells the story of an once an ocean-liner captain who carried a small silver box which he looked into every time he came into port. His second-in-command asked on the captain's deathbed if he could see what was in the box. Inside was a note saying: "Port - Left. Starboard - Right.")
    • If a sealed truckload of birds is transported to weighing scales, and the birds are prompted to fly up at once, the weight would remain the same. The volume and air pressure of accounted for the birds still remains in the sealed system.
(This principle was tested on Mythbusters)
  • If Schrödinger put a Siamese cat in a fridge not only would the cat get cold, but it would also turn black. (The concept of Schrödinger's cat—that an unseen cat is both dead and alive at the same time—is technically irrelevant to the question). For Siamese cats, their fur has an unusual quality of being temperature sensitive. The warmer core shows white fur, and the cooler extremities are coloured by dark fur. If one were to expose the cat evenly to cool temperatures over a long time, the fur would become evenly black.
Tangent: The buttered cat paradox is a paradox based on the joke that results in combining a cat (that always lands on its feet) and a slice of toast (that always lands buttered-side down). Logically the cat would never reach the ground and hover or spin indefinitely since the two laws are in competition. The panel suggest alternate toppings that may change the paradox, such as margarine.
General Ignorance
  • "It's an insectivorous mammal. It's found all around the world. It's active at night. It's almost totally blind." The answer is a mole (forfeit: bats). Bats use different methods for seeing, but none of the 1,100 species of bat is totally sightless. Moles can tell the difference between light and dark, but that is typically the limit. There are no moles in Ireland due its separation of Ireland from the rest of Britain and Europe. Almost all photographs of moles for wildlife stills are of dead moles; the photographers fluff them up to look like they are burrowing.
  • The ultimate hypothetical question (which came first, chicken or egg) is quite simply solved in realizing that eggs have been laid for millions of years before chickens started, and then presumably a species gradually evolved and laid the egg that became the first chicken. (forfeit: chicken)
Tangent: There is an old joke about a chicken and an egg which have just made love and the chicken says: "Well, that answers that old question."
Tangent: When prompted, John immediately knows the longest recorded flight by a chicken is 13 seconds to Stephen's astonishment.

Episode 9 "House and Home"

Broadcast date
  • 12 November 2010
Recording date
  • 4 May 2010
Panellists
Buzzers
  • Danny - Old fashioned telephone ring.
  • Eddie - Doorbell.
  • Bill - Chiming doorbell.
  • Alan - Knock knock knock "Halloooo?"
Topics
  • The panel is shown a photo of a family and is asked the question of how to reduce their carbon footprint (legally). They should get rid of their pet Dog (forfeit: get rid of the car). A dog takes up as much energy as the use and manufacture of two Toyota Land Cruisers because of the meat they consume in their food. This includes the manufacture, production and running of the vehicle. It takes 43 square meters of land to generate a kilo of chicken, and much more for other meat. A Cat, meanwhile, is the equivalent of a Volkswagen Golf and two hamsters are the equivalent of a Plasma screen TV. Children is even technically worse for ecological footprint.
Tangent: Bill has four dogs, two cats, birds, fish, rabbits and guinea pigs, he wants to know what kind of fleet of vehicles he can "trade in" his animals for. Alan later discusses a time when his dog ate a whole tin of Quality Street.
  • Although nonsense, the value of a home in the America can be instantly reduced by a third if it is rumoured to be haunted. The panel discusses that there may not be any such things as ghosts, however the stigma and superstition around it is still that strong.
Tangent: Eddie ponders that if ghosts exist, why aren't we seeing the spirits of dinosaurs, animals, cows and inanimate objects. The line being drawn at only humans is considered absurd.
Tangent: Danny proposes a theory of haunting and the perception of ghosts being caused by magnetic fields and lightning strikes, however Stephen rebuts with the well known theory that the common effects experienced in a "haunting" can be due to carbon monoxide poisoning.
Tangent: Stephen tells his story of being the "pipe smoker of the year".
  • When the habitants of Chiloé Island move house, they literally move house. If there is a ghost or spirit inside the house, they will physically move the house. They roll logs underneath and tie the house to a team of cows, who then pull the house away. Tourists come from Chile just to see it happen. The ceremony is called a "minga" afterwards a feast called a "curanto" is held where people dance and waltz.
  • Straw is a stronger building material than bricks. In bundles it is strong, the fibers are so tightly packed together that it is fireproof because of the lack of air between the particles. It is also waterproof, wind and earthquake resistant. People are able to build houses out of it, as large as necessary, and it is very cheap.
  • The Queen does not require a new toilet seat for every residence or building she visits. She also does not keep her own calf-skin seat to bring with her. Prince Charles was once given a toilet seat and carried it around as a joke.
General Ignorance
  • It only became illegal to own a slave in the UK as of April 2010. It had been outlawed in the British empire in 1837 but was not recognized as a criminal offence. There are laws against kidnapping, abduction, imprisonment, human trafficking and concepts associated with slavery, but the concept of one human actually owning another was not recognized as a state of being, let alone made illegal. In the world today, there are still 27 million people living in slavery, that is more than in the days of American slavery and cotton plantations. In 1967, many crimes were rendered obsolete including barratry. scolding, eavesdropping and challenging someone to a fight.
Tangent: Alan says, "You mean in this series, I am finally free?" but says he is one of the kinds of slaves that goes back to his master, not knowing what else to do.
  • Great Britain has the smallest average house size in Europe (76 Square meters). America has the largest on average worldwide. The phrase not enough room to swing a cat is a literal phrase, not having anything to do with the Cat o' nine tails, and Eddie claims the "whole nine yards" has to do with machine gun ammunition.
  • Bleaches only claim to kill 99% of bacteria because its nearly impossible to prove that they can kill 100%, as some germs are so small they can't be measured at all. However, it is likely that they do kill off nearly 100%. (Forfeit: so they don't get sued)

Episode 10 "Health and Safety"

Broadcast date
  • 26 November 2010
Recording date
  • 28 May 2010
Panellists
Buzzers
  • Ross - "Dive, dive, dive!"
  • David - "Stay clear of the doors, please."
  • Jeremy - "Vehicle reversing! Vehicle reversing!"
  • Alan - "Don't touch the button!"
Theme
  • There are safety warning signs decorating the set and the panellists wear safety goggles, high-visibility vests and hard hats. Stephen wears a lab coat.
Notes
  • This was the 100th (not including the pilot) recorded episode of QI.
Topics
  • The panellists were given the Whitely test, to see if they were hypochondriacs and were to rate questions between 1 and 5. David is frustrated with the logic of the test, second guessing the wording of the questions, and suggesting that without comparison, there is no baseline to compare the results to. Ross is not a hypochondriac; Alan is a mild hypochondriac; David is a borderline hypochondriac; and Jeremy, who answered "5" for all the questions (not bothering to read them), is dangerously hypochondriac according to the test. Part of hypochondria is people not expecting to get pain and when they do they think it is very serious.
Tangent: Jeremy suggests that when smoking wearing his high-visibility vest, he is safe from lung cancer.
Tangent: Ross claims the people he feels sorry for the most are goth construction workers, because they would have to wear the high visibility clothing when they are comfortable in black.
  • Stephen shows the panel a strange set of bellows, asking how this device will save a person from drowning. The bellows are filled with tobacco smoke and is inserted into the drowning victim's bottom. It was believed this was able to resuscitate an individual from the symptoms of drowning. This was a common medical practice between the 17th and 19th centuries. It was suggested that this may have been a coincidence when a woman happened to come back to life after being treated in this way, and became a part of the common medical knowledge.
  • The panel provided with sets of paper glasses with pictures of eyes staring upwards on them. These glasses were designed for observing gorillas in zoos who, as a species, do not like to be stared at in the eyes. They are called "Bokito viewers", named after a gorilla in Rotterdam Zoo who attacked a woman for staring at him (she thought she was creating an emotional bond). Dark glasses would work just as well.
Tangent: Ross and his friend Mike went to a monkey enclosure in a zoo. Mike stared at a monkey and as the monkey stared back it licked its own nipple.
  • It is a myth that when playing conkers, children are now required to wear safety goggles. A school headmaster near Carlisle was frustrated with the health and safety gone mad movement and suggested issuing goggles and safety warnings as a joke. Media misinterpreted the story as fact, and thought that the school was being too health and safety conscious. (Forfeit: Goggles)
Tangent: Ross says he always to find "Wet Floor" signs when he visits supermarkets and trips over the intentionally. When people go to assist him, he exclaims the sign was what tripped him. David suggests that the "Wet Floor" sign should have its own "Warning: Wet Floor Sign" sign.
  • The only medically known way to cure hiccups is "digital rectal massage," or the insertion of a finger up the bottom. Stephen poses the cure as a punishment for not being able to name seven bald men apart from Yul Brynner (a commonly known folk remedy for hiccups).
Tangent: Alan mentions that insertion of a finger into a dog's bottom is a sure fire way to stop it from biting you, startling it enough to release locked jaws. Ross comments that you could also use something like a pen or stick.
  • The spelling "hiccough" is an incorrect spelling for the word "hiccup". Previous spellings had "y", "ck" and "hiccop", and the idea that hiccough has something to do with coughing is erroneous.
  • During an out-of-body experience, one should look at the tops of shelves for random pictures and objects. Dr. Sam Parnia at the University of Southampton has done a three-year-test of 25 hospitals to see if people claiming to have an OBE, they will be able to confirm their experience. The doctor refused to tell QI his findings before the results had been published.
General Ignorance
  • Three birds are shown on the viewer: a robin with its left eye covered, a robin with its right eye covered and a blindfolded pigeon. The question is which bird would be trusted to direct you home. Either the pigeon or the robin with the left eye covered would be able to do it, since they can sense magnetism without the use of their eyes. This is because pigeons can sense magnetic forces so can tell the direction even if blind. Robins can do this also, but only with their right eye.
  • Except for special circumstances, it is typically alright to drink while taking antibiotics. It was originally suggested to prevent people from partying while infectious. In most cases, if advised not to drink, it is more that the issue involves making you feel more ill, not preventing the antibiotic from working. This said with the assumption that you will consult your doctor before indulging.
QI XL Extras
Tangent: Jeremy claims to have "every disease imaginable," including elephantitis, and having an aneurysm less than an hour ago.
Tangent: The Whitely test has a failure rate of plus or minus 11 points, so the results are not very reliable. Alan recites some of his favourite questions: "If you don't feel very well, do you get annoyed when someone says: 'You look like your getting better?'" and "If a disease is brought to your attention by TV, radio or newspapers, do you worry about getting it yourself?"
  • Jeremy immediately (and correctly) identifies the centre of the steering wheel as the safest place to put a large metal spike in the car. The reasoning behind this is it will make people drive more carefully without the knowledge that an airbag will save them were they to come into any accidents. Risk compensation is the idea of feeling so safe that they then behave more recklessly. The advent of seat belts increased the number of cyclist deaths, as people drove more recklessly and unintentionally caused the accidents.
  • Stephen asks the panel whether or not the would help Jeremy if he were being attacked by environmental protesters. According to the bystander effect, the more people witnessing a dangerous event, the fewer people are likely to respond to help. One theory for this is that you may be subconsciously embarrassed by reacting incorrectly towards the situation, no matter how obvious the moral judgement should be.
Tangent: Environmentalists have actually attacked Jeremy in the past. A woman once threw a pie in his face and Jeremy said afterwards he told her she she used too much sugar.
Tangent: Jeremy came across something akin to the bystander effect. He was while go-karting, a friend rolled his go-kart over then caught fire. There were about 40 people there, and Jeremy just stood there. The worst thing Jeremy ever experienced, when he was on his own and did want to help, was when he was on a cross-channel ferry during a storm. While the boat violently rocked, the lavatories were complete with people being sick. One business man, himself ill and covered in vomit, looked Jeremy straight in the eye and said: "Kill me."
Tangent: In France there is a "Good Samaritan" law which makes you legally responsible for NOT helping if you witness a crime.
  • The hippocampus is an area of the brain that helps with the sense of direction. It is named after the taxonomical name for the common seahorse. It is part of the limbic system, which also helps with sensing danger.
Tangent: David refutes the idea of male seahorses give birth, why not name the one that actually gives birth the female. Though it is an unusual arrangement, Stephen comments that the female seahorse implants its eggs into the male, which fertilizes them, hatches them and releases them once hatched.
  • Hernias are caused by a weakness of the muscles of the abdominal wall, not by lifting something heavy (though lifting a weight may make it worse or call attention to it). A weaking in the abdominal wall, which could due to a congenital weakness or by smoking.

Episode 11 "Highs and Lows"

Broadcast date
  • 3 December 2010
Recording date
  • 18 May 2010
Panellists
Buzzers
  • Sandi – Laaa! (a singer holding a note)
  • Rob – Laaa! (higher than Sandi's)
  • Fred – Laaa! (higher than Rob's)
  • Alan – Laaa! (low)
Topics
  • Four tartans were shown on screen to the panel. It was decided that the only tartan that Stephen would be able to wear would be the Royal Stewart tartan, as it is the tartan of the "chieftain" which is the Queen, and any citizen of the UK can wear it. Clan tartans are not as traditional as typically believed, only surfacing in the 19th century, and having more to do with trade than family. The word originates from the French "tiretain", and more resembled a toga than what we know today. The short version of the kilt that is used today was actually an English invention, and was thought to be more simply quicker and more convenient to wear.
Tangent: A purple and green tartan displayed was mocked by the panel as a mistake. In fact it was the Sikh tartan for the Singh, which is mainly purple and green. A rich Sikh businessman commissioned a tartan for his people from a popular tartan company.
Tangent: Fred explains the correct way to measure a kilt as to kneel down, the skirt having to just touch the floor. Sandi explains that it was also the way to measure skirts when she was at a girls boarding school growing up.
  • Caber toss competitions are won by height or distance thrown, but by the most parallel to the tosser, landing directly straight in front of him. You lose points for every "minute" off the "12 o'clock" measurement. Other events at the Highland Games include weight over the bar, sheaf toss, hammer throw, shot put, and "dancing". While some people try to claim it goes back to King Malcolm III, son of murdered King Duncan, it is actually another recent invention dating back to the 19th century which was liked by the royals.
  • Between 1989 and 2010, haggises were smuggled into the USA from Canada, since bovine lungs were blocked from trade at the border due to worries of BSE and other infections. Haggis was first referenced in Lancashire in the UK, but it may have a Scandinavian or Viking origin. Burns Night is celebrated on Robert Burns's birthday, 25 January.
Tangent: Fred recites a part of the address to the haggis for burns Night, and tells a later anecdote about a reverse German translation of the line, which the line, "Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!" was translated as: "Mighty Führer of the sausage people!"
Tangent: Robert Burns was fiercely apposed to the slave trade. In the Burns Museum there is a photograph of Muhammad Ali, who visited the Museum in Scotland because he was a student of Burns due to his opposition to slavery.
Tangent: Stephen told a story about some Scottish people complaining that their accent was not difficult to understand and Americans could understand them, though Stephen later found out that American releases of the movie Trainspotting was so difficult to understand in North America that it had subtitles.
  • A helicopter ascent of Everest was once attempted by Frenchman Didier Desalle, because the thinness of the air and intensity of the 160 mph winds makes keeping a helicopter stable incredibly difficult. He stayed for two minutes before taking off again, making it the highest ever landing and taking off of a vehicle. Brian Blessed attempted an Everest climb, but only got to 28,000 feet before having to turn back in aid of a member of his crew. He is the oldest man to climb this distance without the assistance of oxygen. Blessed is also a black belt in judo, a boxing champion (he once boxed with the Dalai Lama), is the oldest man to go to the North Pole, and he keeps overs 2,000 animals in his house and gardens in Surrey.
Tangent: Rob once went skydiving and was told you could not skydive higher than 17,500 feet without the assistance of oxygen.
Tangent: Many of the people who attempt the climb die, and most of them die from oedemas in either the brain or lungs. Signs along the trail route warn of the risks, and if there is any headache or illness to turn back immediately, as it could very quickly turn into something serious. There is an area on the mountain called the "Dead zone" which contains a lot of bodies in it. Local Sherpas have been planning to collect the bodies and waste from the area.
  • If you are on the top of a mountain you can tell how high you are without electric instruments by boiling water. For every 1,000 feet you climb the boiling point of water drops by one degree Celsius. So if you tried to boil water on the top of Mount Everest it would be at 72 degrees, but if you were at the bottom of the Marianas Trench it would be 584 degrees. This is because of the air pressure. The field of telling your height using these methods is "hypsometry".
Tangent: You can use field crickets to tell the temperature. Below 13 degrees Celsius field crickets make no noise, at 13 degrees exactly it chirps once a second. It then increases at a steady rate, so if it is at 140 chirps per minute it is 22.5 degrees.
Tangent: Sandi claims you can use the bubbles in a stirred cup of coffee to tell the weather. If the bubbles make their way to the middle of the cup it is a sign that the pressure is low, and if they make their way to the edge the pressure is high.

General Ignorance

  • English is an official language in many countries including Wales and India, and Canada but not in England (Forfeit) since there was never a need to set one up. Official languages are those that are defined in the legal system. It is more typical to define a language as "official" when more languages are universally spoken. Official languages are ones which are established in the legal system. Official languages have also never arisen in the USA, although President Theodore Roosevelt said English should be it. Every time it is suggested it English should be the official language of the USA the Hispanic population have protested against it because they see it as a form of discrimination.
  • No country can lay claim to being the modern home of the Huns. The idea of Germany being the home of the Hun came from a speech made by Kaiser Wilhelm II in 1910 during the Boxer Wars, who said: "We shall take no prisoners. We shall show no mercy. We shall sweep down on them like the Hun." The actual Huns came from the East, and were an army rather than a people. (Forfeit: Germany)
Tangent: During the 1970s when Fred was a student at Dundee University he went to a bar called the Speedwell Tavern whose landlord was married to a German woman. The students referred to her as: "The Hun at the till". Stephen also drank there when he was Rector of the Dundee University.
  • If you are afraid of heights you suffer from acrophobia. Vertigo is the name given to the dizziness induced by heights. (Forfeit: Vertigo)
Tangent: There is a story that James Stewart, the lead actor in Alfred Hitchcock's film Vertigo smuggled a yeti's hand out of India and hid it in his wife Gloria's underwear in the luggage.
  • The point on the Earth which is furthest from the centre is Mount Chimborazo. This is a mount near the equator, which is further from the centre of the Earth than Mount Everest because the world is an oblate spheroid which bulges outwards in the middle. Chimborazo is 1.3 miles further from the centre than Everest. (Forfeit: Everest)
Tangent: Everest should be pronounced "Eve-rest", because the person whom it was named after pronounced his name that way.
QI XL Extras
Tangent: The American word for tartan, "plaid", comes from the Gaelic for "blanket".
Tangent: Donald Dinnie is the most successful competitor at the Highland Games. In his career between 1850-90, he earned medal in all disciplines, once winning 20 medals in one day. Dinnie was best at caber tossing, but also good at high jumping. During one high jump his kilt knocked the bar off twice, so in the final attempt he took his kilt off and successfully completed the jump.
Tangent: In Vancouver, Canada, they celebrate Chinese Burns Night because Burns Night and Chinese New Year often fall close together. It is also known as Gung Haggis Fat Choy and the haggis is served with bean curd sauce.
Tangent: The biggest Highland Games in the world are held in San Francisco.
  • Once he conquered Mount Everest, Sir Edmund Hillary decided to settle whether the yeti existed or not, undertaking an expedition to the Himalayan mountain range. He concluded that it did not exist, explaining that the massive "yeti tracks" could be accounted by regular footprints becoming elongated when they melt in the sun. Some believe that actually Hillary was not on a yeti hunt, but that he was really on a spying mission because two of the people with him were rocket experts. Thus some think he was spying on Chinese rocket installations in Tibet.
Tangent: It was Hillary who got to the top of Mount Everest first and not Sherpa Tenzing Norgay. Tenzing wrote in his autobiography that Hillary reached the top first and Hillary told Tenzing that they should say that they both reached the top together. Then the King of Nepal said that it was Tenzing who got to the top first and Hillary did not say a word against the claim. Hillary devoted most of his life to helping the people of Nepal including the building of 25 schools.
  • When digging the Channel Tunnel the person who made sure that the English and the French met in the middle was German Max Schuler. His invention, a gyrotheodolite uses the rotation of the Earth to calculate the direction, since there was no other unit of measure that would not be affected by the magnetic ore and being buried with no line of sight. The two people who met in the middle were Frenchman Philippe Cozette and Englishman Graham Fagg. They were just 300 millimetres out. However, they actually did not meet in the exact middle. The English made further ground because of French geological difficulties.
Tangent: Alan talks about the novel Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks, which is about the tunnelling toward enemy trenches and burying bombs by sappers during World War One, however stops before giving too much away of the plot.
Tangent: Unlike the British, who left their machines unnamed, the French called their machines Brigitte, Europa, Catherine, Virginie, Pascaline and Séverine. After the tunnel was completed they were broken down, rebuilt and sent to other parts of France and the British buried their machines into the ground and abandoned them.
Tangent: A man called Colonel Barog once dug a tunnel for the Indian railway and the two ends of the tunnel missed each other in the middle. He was so ashamed he shot himself.

Episode 12 "Horses and Hunting"

Broadcast date
  • 10 December 2010
Recording date
  • 2 June 2010
Panellists
Buzzers
  • Jimmy: A horse snorting
  • Dara: A horse neighing
  • Clare: A horse galloping
  • Alan: A donkey going "Hee-haw!"
Theme

Episode 13 "Holidays"

Broadcast date
  • 17 December 2010
Recording date
  • 12 May 2010
Panellists
Notes
  • This is the fourth instance of a complete panel appearing twice. Bailey, Brydon and Hall all appeared together in episode 1 of series C.
Theme
Buzzers
  • Rich - A banjo playing a bluegrass tune
  • Rob - A harp playing a dreamy glissando
  • Bill - An accordion and some jingle bells
  • Alan - A comedic fanfare
Topics
  • At his own expense, Stephen had sent each panellist to a place beginning with 'H' (the series' letter) and asks them to report back with anything interesting about their destination
    • Rob went to Hungary, birthplace of Ignaz Semmelweis the surgeon who came up with the theory of cleanliness in hospitals. Doctors rejected this theory as they could not bear the idea of being responsible for the deaths of thousands of people. Semmelweis went mad because no one would believe him and he died in an insane asylum in 1865. There is also a museum dedicated to him in Budapest. Other Hungarian inventions include the Rubik's Cube, the biro, Goulash, Pasteurization, the Manual Gearbox and the word "Hello".
    • Bill went to Bhutan in the Himalayas. It is the only country in the world that is a 'Carbon Sink', meaning they take in far more Carbon Dioxide than they expel. Its constitution states that the forest area should never be reduced to less than 60% of the entire country. Its major export is Hydroelectric Power. The state of the country is not measured in wealth, but in the happiness of its people. Bhutan is Buddhist and the major sports are Archery and a larger version of Darts, more akin to javelin.
    • Rich went to Hawaii. It was discovered by James Cook, who was eaten by the cannibalistic Hawaiian natives. Most land in Hawaii is owned by Dole Food Company. Mauna Loa, the highest mountain in the world, is in Hawaii. Canoes there are fitted with special outriggers, which allows people to ride the canoe without paddling. The Hawaiian alphabet has only twelve letters.
    • Alan went nowhere as "he was in detention"
General Ignorance
  • Sudan (forfeit: Egypt) contains most of the River Nile
  • An embassy is not considered the sovereign soil of its corresponding nation. It belongs to the country the embassy is in. However, there is a memorial to John F. Kennedy in Runnymede which is considered American soil.
  • Air planes do not jettison waste while airborne. (Forfeit: urine)
  • Vatican City has the lowest age of consent (12) in Europe, in statutes dating from Renaissance times.
Tangent: The population of the Vatican is 500 and it also has the most helipads, TV stations and the highest crime rate per capita in the world, with 600 reported offences per year.

Episode 14 "Hocus Pocus" (Christmas Special)

Broadcast date
  • 24 December 2010
Recording date
  • 4 June 2010
Panellists
Notes
  • Stephen wears a magicians cloak, and a red fez hat on his head.
Buzzers
  • Graham - "Hey Presto!"
  • Lee - "Abracadabra!"
  • Daniel - "Expelliarmus!"
  • Alan - "Please!"

Episode 15 "Hypnosis, Hallucinations & Hysteria"

Broadcast date
  • 7 January 2011
Recording date
  • 14 May 2010
Panellists
Buzzers
  • Ronni - "You're feeling sleepy."
  • Robert - "Very sleepy."
  • Phill - "Your eye lids are heavy."
  • Alan - A person snoring

Episode 16 "History"

Broadcast date
  • 14 January 2011
Recording date
  • 21 May 2010
Panellists
Notes
  • Jo Brand was originally planned to be a panellist for this episode but she was taken ill and Sandi Toksvig agreed to step in at short notice.

References

General
  • Wolf, Ian. "QI – Episode Guide: Series H". British Comedy Guide. Retrieved 3 June 2010.
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