List of The Colbert Report episodes

This list of episodes of The Colbert Report details information on past and upcoming episodes of The Colbert Report, a popular Comedy Central show hosted by Stephen Colbert, and produced by Colbert, Jon Stewart, and Ben Karlin Colbert plays the role of a populist blowhard journalist character, similar to his role on The Daily Show. In The Colbert Report, the former correspondent becomes the host of his own parody of media pundit programs, such as The O'Reilly Factor and Hannity and Colmes.

There are a number of noteworthy recurring elements in most episodes of The Colbert Report (see The Colbert Report miscellania). Each episode features a "wørd of the day" which serves as a theme for a monologue in the early episode, each has a studio guest later in the episode, and each begins with a brief summary of what the episode will contain, followed by an introductory phrase and then by the theme music. This introductory phrase very often inserts the word truth into a common phrase, such as "Apply Truth liberally to the inflamed area", though there are exceptions.

Season 1 (2005)

Episode number	First aired	Wørd of the day on "The Wørd"	Studio guest	Introductory phrase
101	October 17	"Truthiness"[1]	Stone Phillips	"Open wide, baby bird, because mama's got a big, fat nightcrawler of Truth."
	Gravitas-Off versus Stone Phillips; Colbert salutes Peter Mayhew's US citizenship with a Chewbacca figure.
102	October 18	"Bacchanalia"	Lesley Stahl	"Put some pants on, America. The Truth is knocking at the door."
	Part one of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Jack Kingston (R) of Georgia's 1st District.
103	October 19	"Disappointed"	Fareed Zakaria	"Strap yourself in and flip the switch, 'cause you're about to get a Truthocution."
	First "Stephen Settles the Debate" (Whales and Cod vs. Eskimo Hunters and Seals).
104	October 20	"Love Handles"	Jim Cramer	"Stop operating heavy machinery, because you're about to take two maximum strength tablets of Truth."
	First appearance of Russ Lieber; Stephen replaces the U.S. Constitution with a framed credit card offer; Lisa Loeb cameo; first "Tip of the Hat / Wag of the Finger".
105	October 24	"Pussy"	Lou Dobbs	"It's time to jump down, turn around and pick a bale of Truth."
	First Out-of-Context Interview, with Kay Bailey Hutchison; First Appearance of "Bring Him Back or Keep him Dead", featuring Torquemada, Charles Darwin and Dave Thomas; a sequence on positive mugshots, in honor of Tom DeLay's arrest.
106	October 25	"Overrated"[2]	Greg Behrendt	"I swallowed 20 condoms full of Truth and I'm about to smuggle them across the border."
	Took calls from fake listeners for the first time; first appearance of Yet Another Day, the Colbert Report morning show.
107	October 26	"Perspective"	Neil deGrasse Tyson	"Strike up the klezmer and start acting like a man. You're about to have a Truth Mitzvah"
	First appearance of "The Pulse", where Stephen plays a video of one of his fans asking him a question. Today's included How is the weight of paper determined? and What's your favorite Jay-Z Song? (Stephen listed his top 20).
108	October 27	"Quitter"[3]	Jeff Daniels	"Put on the Sade and spritz on some Musk. I'm gonna Truth you all night long."
	Part two of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Barney Frank (D) of Massachusetts's 4th District; Harriet Miers added to the Bookshelf of Broken Dreams.
109	October 31	"Alito"	Monica Crowley	"Shave off your body hair and put on your bike shorts. You just grabbed the yellow jersey in the Tour de Truth."
	Second Out-of-Context Interview, with Patrick Fitzgerald; Stephen Settles the Debate: Ramadan vs. Halloween; Placed Rock and Roll nativity scene on his bookshelf to celebrate the end of "Rocktober".
110	November 1	"Camilla-Mania"	Ken Burns	"Is that Truth in my pocket, or am I just happy to see you?"
	The Colbert Report Emergency Evacuation Manual; Showing of documentary made about his interview with Ken Burns; first appearance of "Formidable Opponent:" Stephen debates himself on the topic of charity.
111	November 2	"Cat"[4]	Bruce Feiler	"A wop bop a loo bop a wop bam Truth."
	Stephen delights in a correction by The New York Times stating they had misreported The Colbert Report's first episode's "Wørd" as "trustiness" rather than "truthiness", and provides "cat" as this episode's "Wørd" so the Times will have something easy enough for them to get right.
112	November 3	"Shhhh!..."	Bradley Whitford	"Get on your tippy toes America. You must be this tall to ride the TruthCoaster."
	Part three of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones (D) of Ohio's 11th District. Included a proposed TV show called Judge Tubbs. Also read from The In Box, and told us about an ongoing contest to guess what number he's thinking of. It's not: 7, 16, 111, 280 or 499. First time interview was conducted via satellite rather than in-studio; Whitford appeared surrounded by his Emmy awards, which Colbert suggested could fight his Emmy award.
113	November 7	"Hoser"[5]	Eliot Spitzer	"Somebody get a bucket, I think I'm gonna Truth!"
	Rioting Do's and Don't's; Colbert marks premiere of The Colbert Report in Canada by welcoming Canadians as fellow "it-getters"; bears, the soulless killing machines, top the Threat Down once again.
114	November 8	"T.O."[6]	Catherine Crier	"You want the Truth? You can't handle the Truth! But, I've got oven mitts!"
	Stephen attacks bloggers for intercepting footage of him before he interviewed Bradley Whitford; Stephen played the recording of the telephone call he got from the man he called his mentor, Wilford Brimley; Promo for Yet Another Day.
115	November 9	"Willy Loman"	Mary Roach	"Everyone put your keys in the bowl, it's time for a swinging Truth party!"
	Stephen replaces Scott McClellan with Terrell Owens's agent, to do a better job repelling questions at a White House press conference; Part four of "Better Know a District", with Rep. John Mica (R) of Florida's 7th District; another "All You Need to Know"; and a visit from the spirit of Jon Stewart, who tells us that the studio of the Report (formerly of The Daily Show) was built on an Indian burial ground.
116	November 10	"Armistice"	Cokie Roberts	"Hey Moondoggie, wax your board and catch a wave. The Truth's up."
	Checked mail on The In Box, replayed offensive clip of his character Ching-Chong Ding-Dong, and solved all the world's mysteries with his word association system The DaColbert Code.
117	November 14	"Testosterone"	Bob Kerrey	"I'm fully dilated and effaced and I'm squeezing out a bouncing bundle of Truth"
	Stephen paraphrases Country Music Award Nominees and places a chocolate portrait of Viggo Mortensen (bought on eBay) on his bookshelf to commemorate the 15th anniversary of the Internet.
118	November 15	"The Orient"[7]	Al Sharpton	"Break out some vodka, some lime juice, and the facts. You're about to do an upside down Truthikaze."
	Bring 'Em Back Or Leave 'Em Dead: Asian Edition; Formidable Opponent: Torture
119	November 16	"Information"	Matt Taibbi	"Get ready for authenticity, veracity, and verity. Someone's been reading a thesaurus." (first intro lacking the word "truth")
	Stephen adds pant cuffs to the "On Notice" board but has to move New York Intellectuals to the "Dead to Me" board to make room; Part five of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Mark Udall (D) of Colorado's 2nd District.
120	November 17	"McConaughey"	Tim Robbins	"Sharpen your carving knife and loosen your belt. You're coming over to my house for ThanksTruthing".
	Colbert attacks Barney Frank for calling his show a waste of time.
121	November 28	"Never"[8]	Brian Greene	"Go out ten yards then button hook to the left. I'm gonna hit you with a perfect spiral of Truth."
	Stephen takes calls from "The Heroes"; Stephen Settles the Debate: Faith vs. Science.
122	November 29	"Confidence"	Richard Preston	"And they say the Truth still roams these very woods." (delivered with the studio lights off, lighting his face with a flashlight, using a creepy voice)
	Stephen is brought to tears by the resignation of Randy "Duke" Cunningham. California's 50th district is now "dead to him" and "Better Know a District" is now a 434 part series. Report is led in by the collapse of the Canadian Liberal government via a non-confidence vote. Also, he had a photo montage of Duke Cunningham's Things played at the end. First installment of "Was it really THAT bad?" on The Plague.
123	November 30	"Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay"	Katrina vanden Heuvel	"Knock knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke."
	Part six of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick (D) of Michigan's 13th District; First installment of "The Rest of the World in 11.6 Seconds."
124	December 1	"Spectacle"[9]	Richard Clarke	"Apply Truth liberally to the inflamed area."
	Rick Springfield cameo; Stephen places a breast implant on his bookshelf to acknowledge the work of cosmetic surgeons.
125	December 5	"XMas"	Maureen Dowd	"Get ready to make a difference... by watching TV."
	Stage manager Bobby moves one step closer to being fired for displaying the wrong graphic during a segment; Stephen confers the Colbert Nation Citizen Award upon Luis Soto for escaping from prison, supposedly because of Stephen's suggestion during the November 8 "Tip of the Hat / Wag of the Finger."
126	December 6	"Backsies"	Anderson Cooper	"Move over Oprah, tonight, every member of my audience receives a priceless gift: The Truth!"
	Part seven of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Jim Moran (D) of Virginia's 8th District.
127	December 7	"Hell, No!"[10]	Craig Crawford	"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free... but just for the next half-hour."
	Stephen launches a "Campaign Against Humbuggery"; bears once again top the "Threat Down," followed by happy Germans, alien landing areas, the 9/11 Commission, wasps, popes, and threats.
128	December 8	"Satisfied?"	Peggy Noonan	"Don't touch that dial, and if your TV has a dial... go get a new TV."
	First appearance of "Movies That Are Destroying America" Holiday Christmas Edition. Reviews included The Family Stone, Brokeback Mountain, and The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
129	December 12	"Belly Achin'"	Harry Smith	"Forgive me, Father, for I have Truthed."
	Stephen reviews the history of various Christmas traditions. Plus, new editions of "Un-American News" and "The In Box."
130	December 13	"Lombardi"	Bob Costas	"Get some ice; I've pulled my groin.... my enormous groin."
	A Colbert Report Special Report: The De-Ballification of the American Sportscape; Stephen awards the report the Omnisport Award for Excellence in Everything.
131	December 14	"Travolta"[11]	Dermot Mulroney	"Let's make this quick, our Christmas party is tonight."
	Another "Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger"; Stephen puts the Hollywood Foreign Press Association on notice; Stephen explains the gifts that will be going in the stockings on his mantle, with The Heroes receiving an IOU for one Xbox 360 they will share collectively and the Blame America First crowd receiving Stephen's latest fragrance, Scorn.
132	December 15	"Jetpack"	Mark Cuban	"Children, get nestled all snug in your beds, while visions of Truth dance in your heads."
	Part eight of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Major Owens (D) of New York's 11th District.

Season 2 (2006)

Episode number	First aired	Wørd of the day on "The Wørd"	Studio guest	Introductory phrase
2001	January 9	[12]	Nancy Grace	"If beauty Truth and Truth beauty, then I look fabulous tonight."
	Stephen shows footage of his "appearance" on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, in which he is shot in the chest by O'Brien during a heated exchange about Rosa Parks; Stephen shows a clip from "Stephen Colbert's Hiphopketball: A Jazzebration;" Associate Visiting Professor Michael Adams of North Carolina State University is put on notice for mischaracterizing the word "truthiness", and AP writer Heather Clark is declared "dead to me" for neglecting to acknowledge Colbert as the originator of the word, in her coverage of its selection as Word of the Year by the American Dialect Society.
2002	January 10	"Sleeper Cell"	Carl Bernstein	"The Truth hurts; fortunately for America, I'm a masochist."
	Stephen congratulates Steven van Zandt ("little Steven") for the E Street Band being taken off notice; first appearance of Stephen Colbert's Balls for Kidz.
2003	January 11	"Whatever"	John Stossel	"I got 99 problems, but the Truth ain't one."
	The Threat-down: dads; robots; Virginia governor Mark Warner; bears; and the Associated Press; Stephen places a piggy bank stuffed with one US dollar as a commitment to financing the war in Iraq.
2004	January 12	"Double-Stick Tape"	Kenneth Miller	"I scream, you scream, we all scream for the Truth."
	Part nine of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Steve Rothman (D) of New Jersey's 9th District; Michael Adams gets a phone call from Colbert, who accepts a (non-existent) apology.
2005	January 16	"¡Cerrado!"[13]	George Stephanopoulos	"Call me Fraulein Maria because the hills are alive with the sound of Truth."
	Films that are Destroying America: Colbert condemns Walk the Line and Pride and Prejudice, but says, though he hasn't seen it yet, Transamerica must be a great movie, because it has "America" right in the title, and whether you're a man or a woman, it seems to have something for everyone; Homage to Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech, with a speech entitled "I Have a Dreamsicle", delivered in between taking bites of a dreamsicle, until he is suddenly stopped by brainfreeze, places unfinished Dreamsicle on bookshelf.
2006	January 17	"Old School"[14]	Andrew Sullivan	"Hey America, Nice Ass!"
	Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger: wag of the finger to Oregon for its physician-assisted suicide law, tip of the hat to the U.S. Supreme Court for upholding the law, so there will be fewer of those hippies from Oregon, "California's Canada." Second appearance of Wilford Brimley.
2007	January 18	"Smarterer"[15]	Frank McCourt	"I hope you brought a well-sharpened number Truth pencil."
	A Colbert Report Special Report: The De-Edumacation of the American Brainscape
2008	January 19	"Public-See"[16]	Nina Totenberg	"Stephen Colbert is Cool."
	First installment of "Who's attacking me now?" with the Humane Society in response to Stephen encouraging people to hunt bears; Part ten of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Eliot L. Engel (D) of New York's 17th District, in which Colbert stuffs his face with breadsticks, repeatedly assumes Engel has accepted money from Jack Abramoff, and combs Engel's moustache.
2009	January 23	"Charlie Daniels"	David Gregory	"I'm only going to say this once. (Lucky for you it will be rerun four times tomorrow.)"
	Hamas tops the Threat-down (and is subsequently put on notice) for "forming an alliance with bears" in a television show with which they are connected; after reading a study showing that a TV in the bedroom cuts frequency of sex in half, Colbert feels bad and makes it up to the viewers by reporting on the new Medicare Part D with the lights low and with lots of seductive innuendo. The gold fiddle in the episode is a reference to the Charlie Daniels song The Devil Went Down to Georgia and the Futurama episode Hell is Other Robots
2010	January 24	"Chernobyl"	Robin Givhan	"Pucker up America, because I'm going to kiss and tell... the Truth."
	Colbert debates President Bush's warrantless domestic spying program on Formidable Opponent; he catwalks as a model for Stephen Colbert's Scorn to welcome fashion writer Givhan; he apologizes to Hamas for falsely claiming they associate with the world's number one threat bears.
2011	January 25	"Remote Control"	Norah Vincent	"There's a hole in every man the size of the Truth and I'm gonna jam it in there."
	Colbert takes credit for Stephen Harper's victory in the Canadian federal election (and thus "fixing" Canada); part eleven of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Bill Pascrell (D) of New Jersey's 8th District.
2012	January 26	"Wham-O"	Paul Begala	"Let's change the world! But not the channel!"
	Russ Lieber accuses Colbert of never having been in the Marine Corps; first advertisement for the Colbert Cruise.
2013	January 30	"Abortion"/"Unscripted"	Annie Duke	"I got my mojo working, mojo of course is what I call my assistant Monica Johnson."
	Colbert calls for a boycott of James Frey (the man, not his controversial book A Million Little Pieces) for upsetting Oprah Winfrey. Colbert celebrates the discussion of "truthiness" by Oprah and Frank Rich on her show, and by the hosts of Nightline. Colbert switched to the second Wørd "Unscripted" as he emulated George W. Bush's recent spate of casual appearances and launched into an "unscripted" question-and-answer session with the audience, which happened to feature an African-American, female, U.S. Marine and an Iraqi Kurd profusely thanking Colbert and exclaiming the greatness of America; "Tip of the Hat / Wag of the Finger" included a tip of the hat to paleontologists who discovered the fossil remains of effigia okeeffeae, an ancestor to crocodiles, for disproving the "Darwinlutionists" who tried to claim that every kind of creature had evolved from monkeys; also a wag of the finger to the same paleontologists, who named the extinct species after Georgia O'Keeffe, whose painting scares the hell out of Colbert, instead of after Edwin H. Colbert[17], who originally found the fossils.
2014	January 31	"Jesi"[18]	Dave Marash	"America, be amazed as I bend this spoon by using the power of my hand."
	Colbert listens to the State of the Union address while doing the show; first appearance of "The Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard." Colbert introduces his version of "what you need to know" news and mispronounces Senator Ted Stevens as Ted Williams, then laughs and says wish I could see it.
2015	February 1	"You're Welcome"	Emily Yoffe	"We've done forty-six episodes without a lost time accident."
	A Colbert Report Special Report: The American Worker: A Hero's Tribute to the Besieged Workers of the American Jobscape; Colbert salutes the crew behind the scenes - Bobby, Chief, Ace, Killer, and Billy (in reality an audience member); Colbert debates Russ Lieber on the subject of minimum wage.
2016	February 2	"Aggravated assault"	Christine Todd Whitman	"I just saw my shadow — that means six more weeks of Truth!"
	Part twelve of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D) of New York's 8th District
2017	February 6	"Metaphorically"	Senator Barbara Boxer	"Sometimes it takes a crazy person to see the truth, if that's true, then I'm a freaking lunatic."
	Colbert commends Newsweek for putting him in the "golden corner" of the February 13, 2006 issue, where all the real stories are supposedly broken. ("Example:" golden corner of 1980s Newsweek reports on the assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan, while the cover story is about the more trivial Solid Gold Dancers.) Threat-down: Bees top the list because of collusion with bears through honey.
2018	February 7	"Kidding"	James Woolsey	"How many roads must a man walk down before he's hit with an eighteen-wheeler of Truth?"
	Colbert mentions the ongoing Danish cartoon controversy and declares that he is against such vile depictions, because he fears for his life. In retaliation, he shows his own cartoons - stick figure versions of popular Danish icons depicted in ways that Danes would find insulting. Colbert places the last telegram he ever received to acknowledge Western Union's cancellation of its long-running service.
2019	February 8	"Eureka"	Alan Dershowitz	"Please turn your cellphones and pagers to silent or vibrate; no joke, it's just inconsiderate."
	Colbert pokes fun at USA's low student achievement in science. Part thirteen of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Chaka Fattah (D) of Pennsylvania's 2nd District.
2020	February 9	"U.S.A.! U.S.A.!"	George Packer	"Hope you haven't eaten in the last thirty minutes America, because you're about to go swimming in the deep end of the Truth."
	Colbert awards Rep. John Boehner (R) Stephen's Balls for running a lobbyist reform campaign to become house majority leader, despite the fact that his publicly-known address is rented from a Washington lobbyist; Stephen notably breaks character by laughing while crossing names of celebrities being married (specifically, William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman = Filliam H. Muffman), but eventually recovers; Stephen ends the show with a clip of a love ballad by his former band, "Stephen and the Colberts," entitled "Charlene (I'm Right Behind You)" full of not-so-subtle messages implying he's stalking her.
2021	February 21	"U.S.A.? U.S.A.?"[19]	Lama Surya Das	"Mark your calenders America, I'm turning February twenty-one into February twenty-wow!"
	Colbert shows a fake interview with Brit Hume and implores his viewers to harass Fox News to air the interview; Colbert shows off his tattooed knuckles that feature the names of Bode Miller and Michelle Kwan; part fourteen of "Better Know a District" profiling New Jersey's 13th District, which is currently vacant; Colbert places a sample of his DNA on his bookshelf to celebrate the 53rd anniversary of its discovery.
2022	February 22	"Absolutely Maybe"	Michael Eric Dyson	"It's George Washington's birthday, and I cannot tell a lie. The previous statement was false."
	Colbert puts his brother Ed on notice for failing to give the Report rights to air press conference footage of the disputes between American speed skaters Chad Hedrick and Shani Davis. He then acts out the conferences using a water pipe to represent Hedrick and a hooker doll as Davis. Number five on the Threat-down was gay adoption. Roommates topped the Threat-down, though as toilet paper was the cause of one roommate murdering another, bears are involved through brand Charmin (parodied on the show as "Harmin'").
2023	February 23	"Hippocratical"	David Brooks	"Side effects of tonight's show may include Euphoria, Patriotism and Painful Urination."
	Colbert apologizes for not mentioning bears in the previous Threat-down after a woman is attacked by a bear at a Canadian hockey game. Tonight's bonus Threat-down includes only the number one spot, held by bears; Colbert asserts that "they will kill you". Colbert gives his own version of the White House's Katrina report.
2024	February 27	"Trial Separation"	Tony Campolo	"Demon of facts, begone!"
	A Colbert Report Special Report: The De-Deification of the American Faithscape
2025	February 28	"Laissez Les Bons Temps Roulez"[20]	Brett O'Donnell	"Wanna prepare the perfect Truthtini? That's two parts vodka, no part fact."
	"Who's attacking me now?": Jon Friedman of MarketWatch claims that Yahoo! News has as little chance as the Report of winning a Pulitzer. In response, Colbert pulls out his various Peabodies and Emmys.
2026	March 1	"Faith"	Arianna Huffington	"America, bend over and relax, you're about to get a Truthoscopic examination."
	The debut of a new segment, "Better Know a Founder." Stephen introduces the "Never Existed to Me" list, in which the first entry is California's 50th district, which had been represented by Randy "Duke" Cunningham. During the Huffington interview, when Stephen says he is 'Truthiness's father, to which she points out that Wikipedia acknowledges him as not the father but who helped popularize it to which he replies "F**k 'em".
2027	March 2	"Homo Sapien Agenda"	Jeffrey Sachs	"And the Truth goes to... America!"
	Colbert (correctly) predicts Academy Award winners Rachel Weisz, Reese Witherspoon, George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Crash with the DaColbert Code.
2028	March 6	"Spoiler Alert"	Bob Schieffer	"What you're about to see contains graphic violence, adult situations and scenes of full frontal Truth."
	Bears absent from the Threat-down for the second week in a row. Colbert proposes to mate various blond celebrities to enhance their blondedness. Colbert boasts in an "I Called It" segment his correct predictions (with the DaColbert Code) for Oscar winners.
2029	March 7	"The Long War"	Norman Ornstein	"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, come one, come all, step right up and marvel at the exotic and the mysterious freak show. It walks, it talks, it crawls on its belly like a reptile. No photographs, no paper maché; it is... the Truth."
	"All You Need to Know" returns. Stephen implores Sir Benjamin Slade, a British man searching for an American heir, to give his estate to him.
2030	March 8	"Monopoly"	James H. Webb, Jr.	"Focus on the spot on the wall and breath over the contractions. This truth's coming out head first."
	First appearence of "Stephen's Sound Advice". Stephen gives advice to Iraqis on how to fight a civil war.
2031	March 9	"D.I.Y."	Lorraine Bracco	"You're about to enter another dimension - a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of Truth. There's a signpost up ahead. Next stop, the Colbert Report."
	Part fifteen of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Linda Sanchez (D) of California's 39th District.
2032	March 13	"Sidney Poitier"	Christopher Buckley	"Never mind the bollocks, this is the Colbert Report!"
	The Colbert Report calls the 2008 United States presidential election in favor of Bill Frist, the first news show to do so. Colbert also predicts that a war will be waged against Iran by then.
2033	March 14	"Scapegoat"	Keith Olberman	"Light the lamp and put the biscuit in the basket, this is SportsCenter... Nope, this is the Colbert Report!"
	"Was it really that Bad?" on the days before the rise of labor unions. Stephen shows a clip from his new documentary, "Hiphopketball 2: The Rejazzebration '06 Remix" featuring an appearance by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
2034	March 15	"None of the Above"	Al Franken	"Warmth is to sun as Truth is to me."
	Colbert takes credit for being "donor 401," a popular, but now-retired sperm donor.
2035	March 16	"Sweet Dreams"	Frank Vincent	"I'm here to fight for justice and the American way. My weapon? The Truth!"
	In response to a comment made by Orlando Sentinel columnist Commander Coconut, Stephen reveals that he can fold his right ear into his head. He also states, during his interview with Frank Vincent, that his "balls are waxed." Part 1 of "Better Know a Protectorate" with Rep. Donna Christian-Christensen (D) of the U.S. Virgin Islands district at large.
2036	March 20	"Stop It"	Connie Chung	"From the creators of the Colbert Report, this is the Colbert Report."
	First instance where Colbert has removed items from his bookshelf. In this case, Jessica Simpson merchandise including her album Sweet Kisses and his pair of Daisy Dukes, in response to Simpson declining an offer to speak at a GOP fundraiser.
2037	March 21	"Eat It"	Steve Kroft	"In Vino Veritas, and I am hammered!"
	Colbert considers Japan's victory in the World Baseball Classic a victory for the United States by proxy; performance reviews of staff members Bobby, Jimmy, and Killer are done on-air; Colbert corrects a number of factual errors from recent episodes during "the In-Box."
2038	March 22	"I am the Great and Powerful Oz"	Dan Senor	"Truth hurts, and this is gonna be agonizing."
	Part sixteen of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Brad Sherman (D) of California's 27th District. Colbert repeatedly references the San Fernando Valley's pornography industry, flustering the representative. A pornography spoof is also present in which a pizza delivery man "unexpectedly" arrives. The episode is notable for the fact that the "The Wørd" segment did not air until the second "act" of the show.
2039	March 23		John F. Burns
2040	March 27		Gary Hart
2041	March 28		Michael D. Brown
2042	March 29		Bruce Bartlett
2043	March 30		Robert Greenwald

Notes

1. ^ Truthiness, the first "wørd of the day" on The Colbert Report, was voted the 2005 Word of the Year by the American Dialect Society, which credited The Colbert Report for introducing it into the popular vernacular. For more information, see truthiness.
2. ^ The word overrated was used in reference to the late Rosa Parks.
3. ^ The word quitter was used in reference to Harriet Miers withdrawing her nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court.
4. ^ The word cat was used in reference to "The New York Times" misreporting Colbert's first wørd, "Truthiness", as "Trustiness". He explained that the Times should have an easier time with this word.
5. ^ The word hoser was used in reference to Canada.
6. ^ The word TO was used in reference to Terrell Owens and/or "totally obnoxious"—"same difference".
7. ^ This word of the day, The Orient, was changed to Asia for political correctness.
8. ^ The word never was used to answer the question of when to withdraw from Iraq.
9. ^ The word spectacle was used in regards to capital punishment.
10. ^ Although Colbert originally said "Hell, no!" when giving the wørd of the day, it appeared on the screen initially as "Hell, Yes!" It then quickly switched to "Hell, No!" after this intentional "error".
11. ^ The word Travolta was used in reference to John Travolta's role in The Boy in the Plastic Bubble.
12. ^ On the January 9 episode of The Colbert Report, there was no wørd of the day because Jack Abramoff pleading guilty to a number of felony criminal charges was said to present no issue, and thus no story. However, the segment still proceeded as usual, just without any "theme" word; the lack of a word itself became the theme.
13. ^ The word "¡Cerrado!" was in reference to the U.S. borders, with Colbert recommending a wall built not just along the Mexican border but also along the Canadian border and the East and West coasts, and with a dome covering everything inside.
14. ^ The word Old School was used in reference to the purportedly vengeful style of the God of the Old Testament.
15. ^ The word "smarterer" was used to describe a condition better than being smarter, by being "smarter" at subjects like religion which Colbert identified as being more important than traditional school subjects like math and science; Colbert responded to reports of overseas students outscoring American students at core school subjects by seeking to become "smarterer", such as by learning that the answer to every question in science class is that "God did it".
16. ^ The word Public-See was punned as a humorous antonym of Privacy.
17. ^ Stephen follows a mistake by Carl Zimmer who mistakenly gives the name "Edward Colbert" in his original article for The New York Times.
18. ^ The word Jesi was used to refer to more than one Jesus.
19. ^ The word U.S.A.? U.S.A.? was used to signify Colbert's disappointment with the U.S. Olympic team in contrast to his word U.S.A.! U.S.A.! on February 9, 2006.
20. ^ The phrase translates into English as "Let the Good Times Roll", though Colbert declares that it translates to "Show us your tits".