Twisted Christmas

For the Twisted Sister album, see A Twisted Christmas.

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Twisted Christmas is a humorous Christmas album recorded by Bob Rivers and his Comedy Corp. It is the first in a line of Christmas-themed parody albums from Rivers, with later entries including I Am Santa Claus, More Twisted Christmas, Chipmunks Roasting On an Open Fire, and White Trash Christmas.

Track listing

1. The Twelve Pains of Christmas (3:36)
   • Parody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas." Sung as a normal Christmas carol, with each verse comedically recited by a participant in a painful or undesirable activity.
2. The Chimney Song (2:06)
   • Original song, sung by a young child (or impersonator). The song describes the ensuing months after Santa Claus gets stuck in someone's chimney.
3. We Wish You Weren't Living With Us (0:44)
   • Parody of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." Sung as a normal Christmas carol. About relatives who overstay their visit, becoming a nuisance to the host.
4. Wreck the Malls (2:02)
   • Parody of "Deck the Halls" performed as glam metal. About excessive Christmas shopping.
5. A Visit from St. Nicholson (4:30)
   • Parody of "A Visit from St. Nicholas" by Clement Clark Moore, with actor Jack Nicholson instead of St. Nicholas.
6. O Come All Ye Grateful Dead-Heads (1:23)
   • Parody of "O Come All Ye Faithful." Sung as a normal Christmas carol. Song about Grateful Dead fans.
7. I'm Dressin' Up Like Santa (When I Get Out on Parole) (3:06)
   • Parody of It's Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas, in the western swing genre.
8. The Restroom Door Said, "Gentlemen" (1:33)
   • Parody of "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen." Sung by an all-male a cappella chorus.
9. Foreigners (2:07)
   • Parody of "Angels We Have Heard on High."
10. Joy to the World (1:22)
    • Hard rock instrumental version of traditional song.
11. A Message from the King (2:18)
    • Spoken word piece by Elvis Presley impersonator. Depicted as Elvis being up in "rock 'n roll heaven" and giving a special message about the importance of Christmas while stuffing his face with various foods.