Talk:Cape cobra/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk · contribs) 16:03, 7 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Mine. Review to come soon. J Milburn (talk) 16:03, 7 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'm afraid there are a few issues with this article that will really need to be resolved before the article is ready for GA status.

Done*The lead is far too short. Per the guidelines on leads, it should summarise the rest of the article.

Done*The second paragraph of the first section is unreferenced, and I'm not sure how relevant it is. Also, there are a very large number of synonyms; is there nothing interesting to be said about them?

Could the description be shuffled a little so that the long specimens are mentioned together, with the male/female discrepency mentioned with the average length?

Done*"Their colouration varies greatly. This species shows a wide range of colour variation" Repetition

Done*I'm sure the scalation is important information, but could it be presented differently? In more accessible prose or in a table, perhaps?

Done*Distribution- could South Africa be mentioned on the first line? Also, check your linking.

Done*"is fynbos, bushveld, karoo scrubland, arid savanna, and the Namib desert" Consider linking technical terms/jargon, and the Namib desert is a locality, not a habitat.

Seems to be an inconsistency as to whether you are talking about "them" or "it". I'd recommend the latter, but vary it by referring to the species by name or as "the species".
"when disturbed this snake will readily face its enemy, and spread a broad, impressive hood." Tone doesn't feel right

Done*Puff adder is a dablink. Also, is the capital "P" needed?

Done*"P. rhombeatus" Link? Spell out the genus at first mention.

Done*"Sociable Weaver (Philetairus socius)" Link?

Done*You could consider having "Behaviour" and "Ecology", rather than "Behaviour and diet" and "Predators"

Be consistent with regards to capitalising/not capitalising the common names of birds

Done*"Enemies" really isn't appropriate

"Gestation period was approximately 42 days and the incubation period was 65-70 days at about 28-33°C (82.4-91.4°F). Clutch size was 11-14 (n=2) and hatchling ratio was one male to five females." Too listy
"The Cape cobras venom is made up of potent postsynaptic neurotoxins and might also contain cardiotoxins,[12] that affect the respiratory system, nervous system, and the heart. The mouse SC LD50 for this species' venom is 0.72 mg/kg.[13] The average venom yield per bite is 100 to 150 mg according to Minton." A little technical, not so well written

The source formatting is off, but I'll have a play with that myself soon. What makes The Reptile Database, Etymology Online, and Devenomized reliable? In an article like this, ideally, all the sources would be published books from reputable publishers and articles in peer-reviewed journals. Also, I'm not completely keen on the images- do we not have anything of more certain provenance?

Sorry if any of this comes across as over-critical, but the article isn't quite there yet. J Milburn (talk) 16:49, 7 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Discussion

"Gestation period was approximately 42 days and the incubation period was 65-70 days at about 28-33°C (82.4-91.4°F). Clutch size was 11-14 (n=2) and hatchling ratio was one male to five females." Too listy

What do you mean by "too listy"? RedGKS talk ★ contribs. 17:56, 7 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]