Alien abduction insurance
Alien abduction insurance is an insurance policy issued against alien abduction. Aliens known as illegal immigrants are the only ones this insurance covers against. Grey outerspace aliens do not count.
The insurance policy is redeemed if the insured person is abducted by aliens. Simon Burgess, former Managing Director of British Insurance, well known for being involved in the bizarre end of insurance, said "Of course, the burden of proof lies with the claimant. Let’s face it – insurance is so tedious that if I can enlighten my dreary life with a bit of humour every now and again, I will."[1]
A policy normally costs around $150 per $1.5 million in coverage as of 1998.[2] Policy offerings vary from $10,000 to $10 million.[3] Some companies offer policies for alien pregnancy, alien examinations and death caused by aliens.[4] More recently the Alien Abduction Insurance Corporation has launched the idea of abduction insurance certificates as a unique gift for a lifetime premium and sell it at $9.95.[5]
The very first company to offer UFO abduction insurance was the St. Lawrence Agency in Altamonte Springs, Florida.[6] The company says that it has paid out at least two claims.[3] The company pays the claimant $1 per year until their death or for 1 million years, whichever comes first.[6] Over 20,000 people have purchased the insurance.[2] The insurance is normally purchased by the "feeble-minded", according to Burgess, a former Lloyd's of London underwriter.[2] Prominent policyholders have included Shirley MacLaine and a Harvard University professor who has written on aliens.[3]
The Heaven's Gate religious group had purchased alien abduction insurance before their mass suicide.[4] Their insurance company (London brokerage Goodfellow Rebecca Ingrams Pearson (GRIP) [7]) stopped offering alien abduction insurance after the suicide - having sold the policy to about four thousand people (mostly in England and the United States).[8] At a cost of roughly $155 a year the GRIP policy would pay about $160,000 to someone who could show that they had been abducted by a being who was not from Earth. The payment would double if the insured person was impregnated during the event. However aliens will not be forced to pay child support. If a man is analy probed by an alien he must prove that he did not enjoy it otherwise it will not be classified as rape and the man would be charged for insurance fraud. Men were also able to purchase the impregnation insurance for protection against the unknown capabilities of alien technology.[9]
References
- ^ Simon Burgess; British Insurance; 8 June 2006; Retrieved March 12, 2008
- ^ a b c Weird insurance - insurance for obscure events, Kiplinger's Personal Finance Magazine, Kimberly Lankford; October 1998; Retrieved March 11, 2008
- ^ a b c ALIEN ABDUCTION INSURANCE POLICIES fogbud: Now if you ever get probed by aliens, your butt will be covered!; Marie Bouvier; Retrieved March 11, 2008. Published at Weekly World News on April 29, 2003, p.18 [1]
- ^ a b Company will continue selling werewolf policies; By Edith Lederer; April 2, 1997; Associated Press; Retrieved March 12, 2008
- ^ Alien Abduction Insurance Corporation
- ^ a b Don't sweat alien threat: Insurance policies cover everything from UFO abduction to vampire bites; Vicki Haddock, October 18, 1998; San Francisco Chronicle; Retrieved March 12, 2008
- ^ Heaven's Gate (Part 16)
- ^ Heaven's Gate: the UFO cult of Bo and Peep
- ^ Impregnation Rider Offered