Talk:Tron: Legacy/GA2
GA Review
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Reviewer: Ankitbhatt (talk · contribs) 17:10, 21 April 2012 (UTC)
Minor points
I'm not going to do a very in-depth analysis of the article yet. However, a single look at the article throws up a few points.
- Lead requires expansion.
- Too many one or two-line sentences classified as separate sub-sections. I suggest merging them with other paragraphs. Done
- Even in other sub-sections, there is awkward paragraph splitting. I suggest the main contributors to either collect more information and expand small paragraphs, or do some re-arranging and tweaks and collapse certain section to a smaller number of bigger paragraphs.
- References should be checked for internal consistency. Additionally, it would be preferable if all reference titles use sentence case.
- Try to get rid of the red links. It disrupts reading flow. Either create the necessary articles or simply remove the [[]] part. Done
More to come. ~*~AnkitBhatt~*~ 17:10, 21 April 2012 (UTC)
Comment I quick-failed the previous nom, back in January... and the article's been practically the same since then (the only improvement was shortening the plot and a short section on Interface design, which doesn't compensate the lack of a Visual effects section). Between Ankit's complaints, my complaints, and dead links, things don't look promising. igordebraga ≠ 20:01, 21 April 2012 (UTC)
- I renominated to see another party's view and give a longer chance to clean the page up, rather than it being failed and it being re-submitted for another nom, which would be time consuming. RAP (talk) 23:16 21 April 2012 (UTC)
I just saw the first GA review of Tron: Legacy, and I was completely taken aback to see that there had not been an ounce of effort towards rectifying some of the problems mentioned. And believe me, they were major problems. i skimmed through the article once more and found some more problems (some of which will overlap with Igordebraga;
- Visual effects section is absent. What? Are we actually talking about Tron: Legacy? Done
- Critical reception states that the film received mixed reviews, though at first sight I can't see even an average review listed, let alone a negative one. I will be a bit hard on this part since I myself disliked the film. That's akin to POV, so I suggest changes. You can remove less-notable reviews as well. Done
Whenever I review anything, my first priority is to see that the article looks good; the article should be pleasant to read, informative, big and well-written (grammatically, prose-wise etc.) Tron: Legacy fails even that basic criteria. In fact, I don't think Tron: Legacy even passes the B-class criteria, let alone GA (which has more stringent standards). I am willing to put this on hold, and I'll be a bit lenient: within the stipulated one-week gap, I hope to see at least 60% of the concerns to be cleared up. The visual effects section is a must. I may sound a bit harsh, but I see a lot of laziness mainly because there has been no attempt to improve the article after the first GAR. I hope the second time won't be so poor. Cheers. ~*~AnkitBhatt~*~ 05:04, 22 April 2012 (UTC)
- The article will need a major overhaul. I am currently working on expanding it, but I'm not sure if it will pass this time around.—DAP388 (talk) 21:25, 23 April 2012 (UTC)
- You still have six days' time to complete the 60% mark; I hope that is adequate, as I'm technically not supposed to do this :P. Let's just hope that Tron: Legacy won't need a third GAN; its long and pointless, and adds up to the backlog. ~*~AnkitBhatt~*~ 04:55, 23 April 2012 (UTC)
Note: I have changed the status of this review to "on hold" as that seems to be the intention. Glimmer721 talk 02:26, 28 April 2012 (UTC)
Alright, one week's time is up. I can see some good progress in the article, but a number of issues still remain.
- Lead is still not big enough. It should adequately summarize the entire article, which the lead does not.
- Why is that big white space present in the Themes section? Please get rid of it. Done
- Talking about the Themes section, it should be a sub-section of Production, NOT a separate section in itself. Done
- -Themes are an entirely different thing to production, so it does need it's own section.
- Tiny sub-sections still exist - Interface design, Sound effects, Graphic novel, Electronics and toys. Either expand or merge with other sections. Done
- References need internal consistency in formatting.
- Dead references need to be replaced. To avoid future problems, start archiving references. Done
- It should be just "Sequel" sub-section, not "Movie sequel". Done
- Critical reception section is big but disordered. Apply this rule : Positive reviews in one paragraph (two if large in number), mixed reviews in another paragraph, and negative reviews in last paragraph (or two). Immediately after the RT/Metacritic bits we get a D+ review, which is weird to say the least.
- In the box office section, avoid using words like "impressive" - "In China, it had an impressive opening of $10,624,412 but it quickly faded out for a final gross of $18,889,822." does not sound encyclopedic. Instead, write this - "In China, the film debuted to $10,624,412, which was described as "impressive". However, the film failed to sustain momentum, and ended its theatrical run with $18,889,822."
- In fact, there are quite a lot of problems with the box office section. Try to be less emotional. "It failed to top the box office on its overseas opening, since it earned only $20.3 million", "It topped the box office with $17,509,781 on its first day and $44,026,211 throughout the weekend, far ahead of the other two new releases". Such sentences sound bad - "only", "far ahead", they give a very amateur feel to the prose. Rectify it, in a similar way as stated above.
- Film names in all places should be italicized. "Bridges called the experience surreal and said it was "Just like the first Tron, but for real!" - Tron is not italicized. Similarly for all other places, for any other film. Done
There may be lots more, so I'll keep checking. Cheers. ~*~AnkitBhatt~*~ 05:42, 30 April 2012 (UTC)