User:Jon Steinium

Jon Stein (born 1984) is an American business executive, writer and scholar. He is currently the CEO of Betterment.com.

Early Life

Eduardo Jonathan "Jon" Stein was born of an American-Jewish couple in Toledo, Ohio on February, 29th, 1984. His mother went into labor while slightly intoxicated and crashed on her way to the hospital. As a result of the accident, an ambulance was required, adding thousands to the costs of his birth. In 1997 Stein made a televised apology, which was dismissed by his unforgiving mother as "scripted". She currently takes comfort in her more cost-effective and generally higher-quality son Noah (born 1987).

Professional Career

In 1999, after 5 years of high school Stein was accepted at York University where he excelled in his duties as campus tour guide. As a result of his employment, Stein would later be accepted at the university as a student where he would earn his Bachelor's degree in fashion. He completed the degree in just 16 months. Following this remarkable achievement Stein moved on to New York University where he became noticeably technophobic, shunning everything that followed Windows 98 and Playstation I. In June 2001, he earned his Master's degree in Advertising design. His thesis was entitled "Steampunk: Old or New?" He also became the first person laugh genuinely at a James Bond joke, and made history by stating once in a PBS interview that, "Roger Moore was the best and truest face of James Bond". The comments, which were originally interpreted sarcastically, were greeted with genuine amazement and moderate offense from Roger Moore and then-domestic partner Generous (horse).

Addiction Issues

From 1996 to 1999, Stein struggled with an addiction to a yet unknown drug, he simply called, "the Good Stuff" and would refer to the high spells as "Hammertime". During this time he was described by a journalist from Time magazine as, "a feministic Jew with an enlightened bent that far outshone his intellectual learning." The article further described him as a "Pronunciation-obsessed fashion-challenged Ba'al Teshuva, living in the now as though the 2000's might never come". He was believed to be a major force behind the Y2K scare and is believed to have invested the bulk of his considerable fortune in spare batteries, as an investment. In late 2001 Stein checked himself into Tel Hashomer Hospital in Petach Tikva, Israel complaining of "Oy Gevalt". He was released into rehabilitative care in February of 2002. Upon his release from a Jerusalem rehab facility in the summer of 2002, reporters believed he was an acute sufferer from Jerusalem Syndrome. This rumor result from an incident in which, Stein, when asked how he was feeling, responded, "Baruch Hashem, Gezooont". Two days after the incident Abraham Foxman of the Anti-defamation League demanded a formal apology for comments that, "mock and deligitamize Jewish culture and reflect poor usage and pronunciation of Yiddish words". At the time Stein called Foxman a "Shanda" and suggested mussar. In 2004 Stein and Foxman had a herring lunch and buried a symbolic hatchet, which Foxman later dug up and returned to Home Depot for store credit.

Writings

In 2005, Stein completed his Phd at Brandeis University in 90's studies. His dissertation was titled "Beanie Babies in the 21st Century: When will it end?". Stein has also written extensively on Jewish topics including "Women in Judaism: Why do they bother?" as well as his seminal work "Ending the Shidduch Crisis: a How-to Guide to revitalizing Judaism by Marrying Goyim" to mixed reviews divided primarily along religious lines. In an Ultra-orthodox publication he was criticized as "myopic, unaware, and totally unmindful of the New York Kosher establishment, whose profits he plans to kill". Stein has also published two collections of essays and articles entitled "You're welcome," and "Ode to the 90's." The latter won the "Throwback Book Award" in 2009, for aerodynamic excellence. He is currently working on a three volume work entitled "The Quayle years: a Nineties Treasury" set to be published by Schocken Books in 2014, a year Stein has publicly referred to as, "totally the future". He is currently the Ida B. Frum Visiting professor of Jewish Self-Criticism at the University of Oregon whose general environs Stein has approvingly pronounced as "Shpitz 90's".

He currently divides his time between New York's Lower East Side, His Y2K Bunker in Kfar Shnot Hatishim, Israel and a suburb of the chronologically arrested Portland, Oregon known as Boring Junction, Oregon. In 2011, Stein announced he would henceforth refrain from ingesting leather, citing idealogical concerns.

References

• https://www.betterment.com/about/
• http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jon-stein/
• www.JonStein90'sParadise.org