Talk:Banggai cardinalfish

Conservation status?

Hey, uhhh....

 conservation status? Please check http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6990095.stm

Assessment

Assessed mid-importance for WikiProject Fishes due to conservation status. Neil916 (Talk) 04:06, 22 May 2008 (UTC)

Edits on 10.24.13

I'm editing this as a part of class assignment. As of October 24th, 2013, I have added Behavior section.

Jyn0309 (talk) 17:14, 25 October 2013 (UTC)

Peer Review

There was an extra space between the mating and courtship that I removed.

General:

• I would try to create more links to other articles when possible.
• Some sentences seem to run-on

Mating:

• Grammar:
  • "pairing tends to occur among individuals of similar size" instead of "individuals among similar size"
  • add a comma before "so the male"

Courtship:

• Grammar:
  • add a comma after "then"
  • add "which is" before when the male
  • add an apostrophe "s" after male
  • add a comma before which is the last sentence.

Selection of mates

• Grammar:
  • "initiates" instead of "initiate"
  • vary sentences--"it is observed"
  • "Females are" instead of "Female are"

Spawning

• Grammar:
  • Get rid of "only" in "only taking no more"
  • don't need comma before "and confine"

Grouping

• Grammar:
  • don't need "also" if "in addition" is already in the sentence
  • add comma before "especially because"
  • consider changing to "prevents them from spreading"

VAleles (talk) 17:55, 31 October 2013 (UTC)

Edits/Comments

• Maybe add a few more links, especially like to spawn (biology) so that other people can find out and branch out to that article easier
• Very good use of transitions in this article
• However, some of the sentences do seem a bit long, or could be split into two
• Edited a few of the article sentences for grammar like under the selection of mates section and etc
• Some of the information seems a bit too specific, such as ones that include specific numbers and measurements. It might flow smoother or be sufficient to leave out those values
• Juvenile behavior and grouping doesn’t seem to fit into the larger reproduction title too well, although spawning does. It might be better to put the spawning information under a reproduction header that doesn’t encompass juvenile behavior and grouping.
• Edited a few more sentences for grammar and added some transitions
• If possible, maybe add a sentence or two as to why females would sometimes mate with the secondary males over the main male
• Overall, a good, clear, and detailed article with lots of useful information. I don’t see too many mistakes over the grammar and the transitions help the flow of the article a lot. Nice job!

MLiu19 (talk) 23:14, 31 October 2013 (UTC)

Edits

1) "Then she places herself alongside him and starts tilting outwards from her body’s vertical plane until reaching approximately 30 degree angle, when the male and female’s caudal and anal fins come into contact. The female repeats this movement until the male responds by sporadic ‘mouth opening’, a sign of receptiveness." --> "Then she places herself alongside him and tilts her body thirty degrees outward from its vertical plane, when the male and female’s caudal and anal fins come into contact. The female repeats this movement until the male responds with sporadic ‘mouth opening,’ a sign of receptiveness."

2) "It is observed that the females court larger males more intensively. Even when they were courting a male, they were often observed to court an intruder male if it’s larger than its current mate. It is observed that females produce larger eggs for larger, hence more ‘attractive’ males." --> "Females have been observed courting larger males more intensively. Even when they are already in the process of courting one male, they often moved on to an intruder male if it is larger than the original. Females have also been observed producing larger eggs for larger, hence more ‘attractive,’ males."

3) "Studies show that intensity of the ‘rush’ behavior is important for the male to predict the female’s potential reproductive effort as the intensity of the behavior and clutch weight positively correlates. Thus, it has been suggested that ‘rush’ movement of female Banggai cardinalfish conveys information to males about a female’s potential reproductive effort." --> "Studies have shown that the intensity of the ‘rush’ behavior is important for the male in predicting the female’s potential reproductive effort, as the intensity of the behavior correlates positively with clutch weight."

4) "Female Banggai cardinalfish produce a relatively small clutch consisting of maximum of 90 eggs with eggs that are of 2 to 3 millimeters in diameter." --> "Female Banggai cardinalfish produce a relatively small clutch, consisting of no more than ninety eggs that are two to three millimeters in diameter."

5) "Once approximately three-fourths of the egg mass protrudes from the female, the male gulps the clutch by pulling the eggs from the female. This whole process is very immediate, only taking no more than two seconds." --> "Once approximately three-fourths of the egg mass protrudes from the female, the male takes the eggs from her. This process is immediate, taking no more than two seconds."

6) "Such limited dispersal of Banggai cardinalfish prevents them to spread over large geographic ranges, serving as a major risk of extinction along with heavy exploitation by aquarium fish collectors and low fecundity." --> "Such limited dispersal of Banggai cardinalfish prevents them from spreading over large geographic ranges, and thus serves as a major risk of extinction along with heavy exploitation by aquarium fish collectors as well as low fecundity."