Eye contact
Eye contact is an intense nonverbal, visual connection made as one person gazes into the eyes of another. It is a highly emotional link established as two people simultaneously observe each other's eyes.
Gazing at another's eyes arouses strong emotions. Thus, eye contact rarely lasts longer than three seconds before one or both viewers experience a powerful urge to glance away. Breaking eye contact lowers stress levels (as measured, e.g., by breathing rate, heart rate, and sweaty palms). The pupil size reveals a great deal about our emotions, convictions, and moods.
As primates we show an extreme alertness to where others are looking. Though we consciously control where our own eyes hover and land, eyes have "minds of their own" as well. We feel compelled to look at objects and body parts which our primate brain finds interesting (e.g., faces, hands, and trees)--or to gaze away from what it finds distasteful. In response to feelings of shyness, submissiveness, and stranger anxiety, an inner primate voice warns us to be careful and to "watch where we look." In crowded elevators, e.g., our eyes cannot roam freely across another's faces (as they can, e.g., freely watch media faces pictured in magazines and shown on TV).
There is more direct gaze when people like each other and cooperate, while people make less eye contact when they dislike each other or disagree. In primate behavior, the unwavering gaze evolved as a sign of dominance and threat, while gaze avoidance originated as a submissive cue.
Gaze direction clearly shows others where our attention lies. We have developed an amazing ability to gaze back into the eyes of our beholders to gauge their feelings. However, being looked at so arouses the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight response) that we may feel compelled to glance away. Perhaps because the eye's retina is an outgrowth of the forebrain, peering into someone else's eyes is not unlike seeing into the brain itself. This may be why the sacred Eye of Horus (the All-Seeing Utchat of Ancient Egypt) had so many complex meanings.
On the whole, all human beings are enthralled by the eyes of other people. From the moment of birth we respond to our mother's eyes as if programmed to do so. Babies smile at black geometric spots--perceiving them as "eyes" by six weeks of age. In adults, eye contact shows personal involvement and creates intimate bonds. Mutual gaze narrows the physical gap between us.
As primates, for whom facial expressions provide key social and emotional information, we continually probe each other's eyes for positive or negative mood signs. We are acutely aware of being noticed by strangers. In waiting rooms we periodically glance up and scan for roving eyes (much as do monkeys in a cage). The popular book The Sense of Being Stared At by Rupert Sheldrake discusses how sensitive human beings are when it comes to the sense of sight.
Many cultures of today and the past consider eye contact to be an intensely spiritual and renewing experience, while other cultures see it as intrusive and rude. The eyes have often been described as the "mirrors of the soul," and lovers often gaze into each other's eyes for extended periods of time. Scientific experiments have been done where two complete (opposite sex) strangers were put into a room and told to look into each other's eyes for as long as they could stand. Though the experiment only lasted for about five minutes per pairing, after the experiment was concluded, many of these people reported strong and deep loving feelings for the eye contact partner despite meeting them only at the moment the experiment began. As testament to the power of eye contact, many of the individuals that were paired up in the study pursued love relationships with one another or were eventually married.
Cosmetics have been used universally throughout human history to enhance the beauty of the natural eye. Belladonna, mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow, eye cream, colored contact lenses, and various other forms of eye enhancement have been used to draw other people's eyes to the individual's eyes who is wearing the makeup, thus hypothetically increasing the amount of eye contact between the people involved.
What gives police officers away in a roomful of people is their habit of looking too intently and too carefully at others (Joe Navarro, FBI special agent, personal communication, August 2001).
In Japan, listeners are taught to focus on a speaker's neck in order to avoid eye contact, while in the U.S., listeners are encouraged to gaze into a speaker's eyes.
Sumerian clay tablets written in cuneiform dating back to 3000 BC tell the story of Ereshkigal, goddess of the Underworld, who had the power to kill Inanna, Goddess of Love, with a deadly eye, and the concept of the evil eye has long since become part of modern popular culture.