Talk:Sargun Mehta/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Yashthepunisher (talk · contribs) 14:42, 2 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Mehta was born in Chandigarh. She has a degree in Bachelor of Commerce from the University of Delhi." — This line looks unnecessary, please remove it. The lead should be concise. Yashthepunisher (talk) 4:42, 2 June 2015 (UTC)

Remove the date of birth from this section, as it is already mentioned in her infobox. Yashthepunisher (talk) 4:45, 2 June 2015 (UTC)

Actually, Birth is sourced from here. Hetika (talk) 16:28, 3 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"the daughter of Mrs. Aradhana Mehta" -Is it really Important? Yashthepunisher (talk) 4:48, 2 June 2015 (UTC)

As a child, Mehta auditioned for the dance reality show Boogie Woogie, participating as a contestant along with her brother. She danced to "Barbie Girl", a song from the album Aquarium, and her brother performed to "O O Jaane Jaana" from the film Pyaar Kiya To Darna Kya; they were both rejected.— Rephrase it to As a child, Mehta along with her brother participated in the dance reality show Boogie Woogie; they both eventually were rejected. Yashthepunisher (talk) 4:58, 2 June 2015 (UTC)
"Mehta was educated at the Sacred Heart Convent school in Chandigarh until tenth grade, and she completed eleventh and twelfth grades at the Carmel Convent School. After finishing her education, she moved to Delhi and enrolled in Kirori Mal College, Delhi University, India, for a degree in commerce." — Rephrase it to Mehta was educated at the Carmel Convent School and graduated in commerce from the Kirori Mal College, Delhi University. Yashthepunisher (talk) 5:13, 2 June 2015 (UTC)

Content is sourced, so no need to make it short. Hetika (talk) 16:28, 3 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"After it ended, she moved to Mumbai, and she lives in Malad West, Mumbai Suburban district, Maharashtra. — Rephrase it to After the serial ended, she shifted to Mumbai. Yashthepunisher (talk) 5:25, 2 June 2015 (UTC)

"Mehta's fame increased when she played in the 2011 television series Phulwa and the 2012 Kya Huaa Tera Vaada.[8][12] She established herself as a leading actress, when she appeared the Colors TV drama series Balika Vadhu. — This line has no place here. This section should only focus on her background. Paste it in her career section. Yashthepunisher (talk) 5:35, 2 June 2015 (UTC)

Some GA/FA articles writes it like this. Hetika (talk) 16:28, 3 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Split this section into two, the other section should be about her personal life. Yashthepunisher (talk) 5:57, 2 June 2015

personal life is not enough for a separate section. Hetika (talk) 16:28, 3 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

No any archive or other reliable sources found on net. please suggest me something for this content. Hetika (talk) 16:28, 3 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]