Talk:Carl Lewis/GA2

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 21:23, 4 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

This article is certainly a decent piece of work in terms of quantity, but I have some concerns about the quality. Most specifically on a first quick read through, the referencing is nowhere near up to scratch. In the first paragraph of the body, the sentences about his parents and sister are unreferenced, and this is a theme which continues later in the article. A few of the unreferenced claims are:

His parents ran a local athletics club that provided a crucial influence on both Carl and his sister, Carol. She was also to become an elite long jumper, finishing 9th at the 1984 Olympics and taking bronze at the 1983 World Championships.
As a junior, he was one of the top long jumpers in New Jersey, and by his senior year he was one of the top long jumpers in the world.
In 1981, Lewis started to emerge as a dominant sprinter and long jumper. – This is also a very short one sentence paragraph, which is frowned upon.
The jump made Lewis the number two long jumper in history, behind only Bob Beamon, and holder of the low-altitude record.
For the first time, the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF), the governing body of track and field, organized a World Championships, an event which would prove to be one of the biggest sporting events of the year worldwide. The championships boasted a then record number of participating countries for a sporting event (154), more than even the Olympics which had been plagued by politically motivated boycotts in its two previous celebrations and which would suffer another one in 1984. – An entire paragraph uncited.

These are only a small selection, and later in the article there is a claim with a "citation needed" tag too.

The references that are in place need completing or tidying up:

Ref #5 is missing a title.
Ref #7 is missing just about everything.
Refs #12, #15, #17, #35, #50, #79, #82 and #89 don't seem to be working, though some of those are DNS issues, so they maybe temporary.
The date format is inconsistent, Ref #2 uses "15 January 2015", Ref #3 uses "January 30, 2009", Ref #5 uses "13. Jan 1981" and Ref #13 uses "1961-07-01". Pick one format (probably "January 30, 2009") and stick with it.

I'm going to place this nomination on hold for a week in the hope that significant work can be done with the referencing, before continuing with a full review. Harrias ^talk 21:23, 4 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Harrias: thank you for the review. I will make the fixes by 11 June, as required. FunkyCanute (talk) 13:30, 9 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Done a bunch. More to go. FunkyCanute (talk) 17:22, 9 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Brilliant, ping me here when you reckon you're done. Don't worry too much about the time scale, as long as significant work is being done, I won't fail it without notice. Harrias ^talk 17:47, 9 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Harrias: Been through it with a fine-tooth comb: improved references and removed uncited material where necessary. Over to you, please. FunkyCanute (talk) 13:58, 10 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@FunkyCanute: Life off-wiki has been pretty hectic over the last week or so, but I've printed a copy of this article out to give myself more opportunity to look at it, and I'm making it my top priority this week. Harrias ^talk 07:56, 29 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I look forward to it. FunkyCanute (talk) 10:37, 29 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Summary: GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
The article could do with a bit of a copy-edit, I have provided some examples below. A fair bit of MOS work is needed too.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
Most of the references that are provided are to reliable sources and laid out well, although I have identified some issues below.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
Although some areas might go into a little bit too much depth, I don't have any serious concerns here.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
Mostly fine here, but there are a few times when the article uses superlatives that might suggest a slight bias.
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
Article is stable.
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
The articles uses images well, and they are all appropriately tagged. The image do need alternative text as per WP:ALT.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
Broadly speaking, this article is in a pretty good state. It needs a fair bit of tidying around the edges and cleaning up, but I don't see any reason that it can't be done.

Prose and MOS issues

Generally MOS:NUM prefers that when two numbers are related, they are both written as words or numbers. So for example, "who won 10 Olympic medals, including nine gold" should really be "who won ten Olympic medals, including nine gold" and similar in the next sentence.
Although it is pretty well known, I'd advise writing each event out in full first time, so "100 meters" rather than 100 m etcetera. Throughout the article you should consistently use US spelling, so meters rather than metres.
For long jump distances, consistently use the {{convert}} template each time. At the moment some of the conversions are written out by hand in varying formats.
I ponder whether the "Athletic career" section could had less sub-headings? At the moment some of the sections seem a bit on the short side, and might well merge with others?
MOS:ABBR advises that we shouldn't use "Dr."; the name alone suffices.
Try to avoid short, single or two sentence paragraphs, such as the first one in the "Breakthrough in 1981 and 1982" section, the last in "Lack of endorsements and public perception" and a few others. Merge these into nearby paragraphs or expand them slightly as appropriate.
The prose could generally do with some tidying to help it flow a little.

Referencing issues

Although a lot of work has been done on referencing, some issues remain. The "Stimulant use" section in particular could do with bolstering, there are a couple of quotes in there without an inline citation.
A number of the references are missing some information. I have not gone through them all, but for example, #4, #5, #7 and #9 are all missing an access date.
Ref #15 and #54 are dead.
Make the formatting consistent, for example, ref #5 has the work/publisher as an italicised "iaaf.org", while ref #19 has a plain "IAAF".
Ref titles should adhere to the MOS, so hyphens should be replaced with endashes.

Other comments

Is there any more information available on his personal life, for an athlete of his prominence, it seems extremely short. Harrias ^talk 08:28, 3 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]