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Glenn Quagmire

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Family Guy character
File:Glen Quagmire.png
Glenn Quagmire
Hometown:
Species: Human
Gender: Male
Height: 5 ft 10 in
Weight: 134 lb.
Age: 41
Favorite beer: Pawtucket Patriot Ale
Religion: Unknown
Heritage: White
Favorite Band: Unknown
Favorite Sports Team: Unknown
Occupation Pilot
First Episode Appearance: "Death Has a Shadow"
Voice Actor: Seth MacFarlane

Glenn Quagmire is a character on the animated series, Family Guy. Notable for his prodigious libido, he is voiced by the show's creator and lead writer, Seth MacFarlane. Quagmire's sexual obsession and complete lack of morality have made him one of the most popular characters on the show, and Seth Macfarlane is frequently pressed upon by fans to perform Quagmire's voice at his public appearances.

Description

Glenn is the sex-crazed next door neighbor and one of Peter Griffin's best friends (though Peter is completely oblivious that Quagmire has an obsession with his wife, Lois.) MacFarlane describes Quagmire as 'a despicable human being who is still caught in the rat-pack era'. When he is not hanging out with the guys, Quagmire is often seen trying to pick up women for anonymous sex, whether it be a cheesy date with an unlucky woman or some form of a blowup doll.

He has several catch phrases, including "OH!", "All riiiight", and the nonsensical phrase "Giggity giggity giggity" (which has expanded to "Giggity giggity goo" and later to "Giggity goo gaa" and even "Giggity giggity giggity giggity giggity giggity giggity goo;" this phrase also appears in Spike Jones' "Cocktails for Two"). Many times, these phrases are accompanied by suggestive pelvic-thrusting motions, headbanging, or both.

Quagmire's house, while ordinary-looking from the exterior, is stocked with gadgets stereotypically associated with swingers from the 1960s and 1970s, such as a mirrored bedroom ceiling, lava lamps, a cabinet-style record player, "disco-like" decorations that fold out from panels in the walls at the press of a button, and dozens of revolving beds (possibly inspired by the apartment of Dudley Moore's character Stanley Tibbets in Foul Play). The rest of the interior decor also follows the same sixties-retro theme, with abstract paintings, a sunburst clock and stylish period furniture. He keeps an 'abort' button behind his home bar, which returns his decor from his swinging bachelor pad to a more 'normal' look.

Appearance

Glenn has short black hair, parted in the middle; he is of average height (5 ft 10 in) and somewhat slight build (134 lb). His most noticeable physical characteristics are his enormous jaw and chin, and his long nose. These strange features have led some viewers to draw puzzled comparisons ranging from Frodo to Arnold Schwarzenegger. His physical appearance seems to look more like a young Bob Hope, but bears the strongest resemblance to a young Neil Sedaka, who may have even inspired Quagmire's trademark head-jerk. It is also possible that his head shape and neck is used to look like male genitalia. Another identifying feature is the tattoo on his left buttock reading "Your face here! Call 555-0134". The phone number, of course, is Quagmire's.

Ethics and sexual deviancy

If Glenn Quagmire's personality could be summed up in one word, it might be "perverted". Outrageously oversexed, Quagmire's sexual exploits, tendencies, and fetishes are often hinted at or stated outright as being above and beyond what most people would consider normal, and cover a wide enough range to justify the description of him as a pan-sexual. Such as his fetish for women's feet and shoes.

Peter Griffin has referred to Quagmire as a "heartless sex hound" in his presence while in mixed company, yet Quagmire seems to casually acknowledge the fact with no rancor.

He seems to have little interest in long-term relationships with women. When one of his partners casually asked what he did for a living after waking up in bed beside him, Quagmire cheerfully responded with "Hey, I've got a question for you too: why are you still here?" (On a Family Guy DVD featurette, creator Seth MacFarlane says that he believes this to be Quagmire's "defining moment".) However, in "I Take Thee Quagmire", he actually falls in love and marries Joan, Peter's temporary maid. But after seeing Lois' top almost fall off, he realizes he made a mistake. He then tries to get a divorce, which ultimately leads to Joan being killed by Death.

It has been suggested that he is not above rape ("I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through!"), incest ("Mom, if you want this three-way to happen you're going to have to change your tone!"), or drug usage (he has ordered "roofie coladas" for would-be companions on more than one occasion). The following exchange also seems to indicate that statutory rape is not beyond him:

Quagmire: Hey there, sweetie! How old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You're first!
Connie: MOM!
Quagmire: I like where this is going. Giggity, giggity, gi-gi-ty.

He may be a registered sexual offender as well; when the Griffins had to leave town for a family emergency on the episode, "Emission Impossible", they asked Quagmire to watch the kids. He replied, "Well, in accordance with Megan's Law, I'm required to inform you... eh, you know what, that's fine, I'll take the kids."

Glenn appears to often get his penis caught in unusual places, and usually calls 911 with the response, "Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah... it's in a window this time."

He is also apparently an ephebophile; after finding the lead cheerleader at the local junior high school bound and gagged in a restroom stall, he comments, "Dear diary: Jackpot!". Also, in the episode "Petarded", he lurks behind the sofa wearing only a Speedo at Cleveland's house while Meg is having a slumber party with a group of girls. However, he has never shown any symptoms of outright pedophilia, although it is suggested in the episode A Fish out of Water when he stated Taylor Hanson as his answer to the question "If you could have any woman in the world, who would it be".

It is implied that he is also a necrophiliac because when Death killed his wife, Joan, he told Death to leave Joan next to him for about five minutes. He also tried to have sex with a woman who was dying of a heart attack in a department store changing room. When he kissed her, he accidently gave her CPR and revived her. When being told how he saved the woman by using CPR, he replied, "What the hell is CPR?"

Though he has shown signs of second thought regarding necrophilia, as in a recent episode when he pays off a prostitute who then has a heart attack and instead of calling the police, he decides to pull her into his house, then stops and says, "Oh, what the hell is wrong with me? Am I just sick or what?"

In addition, Quagmire has or has had at least three sexually transmitted diseases, once referring to women who contracted gonorrhea from him, admits deliberately giving a venereal disease to another woman, and mentioning to Peter, Cleveland, and Joe that he contracted hepatitis. In the episode "Love Thy Trophy" while everyone was waiting on the theme for the parade to be announced, the characters cheer for their submissions to be picked. Cleveland's was "Togetherness" ("I submitted togetherness. A simple theme, but powerful none the less"), Joe had "Overcoming adversity" ("Come on over coming adversity, come on over coming adversity"), while Quagmire's theme was women he'd given gonorrhea to ("Show me women I gave the Clap to OH!!!")

He has dabbled with, if not regularly engaged in, intimate depilation. In the flashback on the episode, "Death Lives", Quagmire proudly displayed his pubic hair to Peter, asking if it looked like the letter Q (apparently with his penis as the letter's "tail", implying that it curves to the left.)

When he met a woman smoking a cigarette through a tracheotomy, Quagmire asked her, "Hey, do you ever get freaky with that thing?"

After returning from a trip to the Philippines, Brian Griffin deduces, by sniffing his crotch, that one of the women he had had sex with was, in fact, a man. It is also alluded to in the series that he isn't averse to having sex with women who used to be men, as in one exchange:

Quagmire: Hey there baby, how 'bout showing me the Lower-East side?
Transvestite: Sure.
Quagmire: WHOA! Transvestite! BACK OFF! Wait, pre-op or post-op?
Transvestite: Pre-op.
Quagmire: WHOA! Transvestite! BACK OFF!

In a recent episode, Petergeist, his family, or rather people he said was his family, were apparently having an orgy. Quagmire calls the people in the background his folks and said they were "playing a game". He was in a baby outfit at the time. He put the ordeal off as "Family Game Night," but when trying to explain, he simply said:

Quagmire: Oh, it's, uh, Family game night! We're playing... uh... uh.... Sex.

Also, during a drinking game on the episode "Perfect Castaway", Quagmire once revealed that he had given a "reach around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance," which would add zoophilia to the aforementioned list of deviancies. However, he was completely drunk when he starts to answer unusual things.

In addition to this, there is suggestion of enjoying autoerotic asphyxiation when he plays a game of I Never with his friends:

Joe: I, uh, I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home and choke me while I touched myself.
Quagmire: Oh come on! (Quagmire drinks again.)
Peter: Uh, I never did the same thing, but with somebody from Jo Ann Fabrics.
Quagmire: Oh, God, this is ridiculous! (Quagmire drinks again, then passes out cold)

On the episode, "Brian in Love", it's shown that he has also had sex with Tricia Takanawa, who he described as a "Spanish chick."

Quagmire: I've never done it with a Spanish chick before. Heh. Heh. O-lé.

Quagmire apparently considers his friends' wives to be fair game. Quagmire had an extramarital affair with Loretta Brown, which she initiated, causing her and Cleveland to divorce. He was also caught spying on Lois while she was using a public restroom; another time, he made a pass at her when she paid him a visit and he assumed her marriage to Peter was in trouble (Which, luckily for him, Lois didn't notice). Nonetheless, neither Peter nor Cleveland seem to harbor any long-term ill will towards him. The extremely jealous Peter, however, is unaware that Quagmire is constructing a life-sized replica of Lois, complete with hair from her hairbrush.

Quagmire is portrayed as generally upbeat and in high spirits. Despite many crushing defeats, he never gives up.

Profession

It is referenced several times that Glenn works as a commercial airline pilot. In flashbacks, we learn that before being a pilot, Quagmire served in the U.S. Navy. He introduced himself to Peter Griffin as "Ensign Glenn Quagmire", but was wearing an enlisted uniform at the time. In "Jungle Love" he replaced Peter as Sandy Duncan's glass eye, though she was dissatisfied with his performance.

Quagmire was the host of Midnight Q, a Playboy After Dark/Playboy's Penthouse-type late-night jazz, literature and sex program on the PTV network, a television station briefly set up and run by Peter.

Miscellaneous

Wikiquote has quotations related to Glenn Quagmire.
  • The word "quagmire" refers to both a soft soil that yields easily (such as quicksand) and a mess or hopeless anarchy. In the latter sense, Quagmire's name is a clear reference to his seeming polymorphous sexuality (perhaps resulting from an unresolved Oedipal complex alluded to briefly in season 4). The title of a Family Guy episode from Season Four, dealing with infidelity, plays up the second meaning ("The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire").
  • During the recent episode "Mother Tucker", Quagmire participates in the Quahog Air Show. He flies a small monoplane named 'The French Tickler', which he pilots through the crotches of several women pictured on billboards.
  • Quagmire may have some trouble distinguishing males from females: he used to list Taylor Hanson as his idea of the perfect woman and may have had sex with a Filipino man who he thought was a woman. Judging by his reactions to these events, it seems one of his few sexual turnoffs is homosexual sex; however in The Perfect Castaway he was willing to attempt a homosexual orgy with Peter, Cleveland, and Joe after several months castaway on a desert island, though none of the men were able to achieve an erection. One of his opinions of homosexual sex is "two halves can't make a whole without a hole".
  • Quagmire's initials are possibly a reference to GQ Magazine.
  • After learning of Quagmire's affair with Loretta, Cleveland attacked him with a baseball bat. While Cleveland missed his target with every swing, he struck Quagmire's walls, sofa, bar, and other objects. Each of these opened to reveal a bed, including his refrigerator and oven.
  • In "Peter's Got Woods", Quagmire went to a PTA meeting. When asked by Brian why he was there, he said that since he has had sex with so many women, he could have several different children. It cuts to a scene with a Spanish woman and her son, who bears a striking resemblance to Quagmire. She then gets angry and ask's him where he's been. He replies that he was drinking with his friends. He settles it by leaving to watch the Bullfight.
  • Strangely, in the above situation, he says he 'could have kids in their twenties'. Implying that not only did he have underage sex, but he had lost his virginity by the age of 12-years-old at youngest to 21 years old, as he is 41.
  • The Spanish translation of "Giggity-giggity" appears to be, "Toma-toma-toma-toma-toma", as seen from episodes dubbed into Spanish for Spanish television.
  • A possible predecessor to Quagmire appeared in Seth MacFarlane's Larry and Steve. In the short, there is a pilot character with the same voice, who looks somewhat similar to him.
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