Jump to content

Talk:Alex Parrish/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
< Talk:Alex Parrish

This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Krish! (talk | contribs) at 20:48, 4 August 2017 (→GA Review). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

GA Review

GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Numerounovedant (talk · contribs) 16:51, 29 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]


I'll put up comments soon. NumerounovedantTalk 16:51, 29 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Prose
  • You could avoid repetiton of American in the opening paragraph.
  • Same with FBI, I believe the the "FBI recruit" can simply be "recruit" as the mention of the "FBI Academy" makes it obvious.
  • "U.S intelligence"
  • I prefer "on and off relationship" as it is lest colloquial.
  • "as a completely white character" - completely seems to be an odd choice of words.
  • Not sure what a "talent holding deal" is.
  • "For her performance as Parrish" - odd phrasing, also, be consistent with use of "Alex" or "Parish" in the article.

Looking at the rest. NumerounovedantTalk 16:47, 3 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=Talk:Alex_Parrish/GA1&oldid=793935893"