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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Aoba47 (talk | contribs) at 04:03, 23 April 2018 (→Amor Prohibido). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Amor Prohibido

Amor Prohibido (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

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Nominator(s): – jona ✉ 22:34, 13 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about the fourth and final studio album recorded by American singer Selena before she was shot and killed a year later. The album transitioned Tejano music from a moderately successful regional scene, into a powerhouse genre. Amor Prohibido is a culturally significant album that helped solidify Selena as a leading performer in the Latin music market. Still popular today, it sporadically makes appearances on Billboard's music charts, while its singles remain popular in Hispanic and Latino households. I decided to nominate Amor Prohibido for FA, after receiving positive encouragement from editors to do so, despite a rather lackluster peer review (it didn't generate any interest ) – jona ✉ 22:48, 13 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Aoba47

I love Selena and this is probably my favorite album by her. I will try my best to help with this, and it is great to get a chance to work with you again on something. My comments are below:

  • Please look carefully at this sentence (After achieving a fan base EMI Latin was aiming for, company president Jose Behar wanted to take advantage with another studio release.). The opening dependent clause is describing Selena, but the structure connects it to Jose Behar. It should be revised. Also, the “take advantage” part is somewhat awkwardly placed into the sentence. I have a similar issue with a similiar sentence in the “Production and development” section.
Done. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • For this part (to help with the writing), I think you can just say (to help with writing) as “the” is not really needed.
Done. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • For this part (The recording ended up being a more mature sound with), I think that “having” would be a better word choice than “being”.
Done. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • I am not certain about this part “its lyrics speak”. I have been told in the past to not personify lyrics with this particular verb.
Done. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • For this part (the highest-ranking album by a Hispanic performer), I am not sure about the link to “Women in Latin music”. It is a good article, but I interpreted “Hispanic performer” to mean out of all Hispanic singers, male and female. The link here just feels a tad force to me. I have the same issue with the link in the body of the article.
Fixed. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Please link Selena on the first instance you mention her in the body of the article as the lead and the body of the article are treated separately.
Done. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • For this part (In a 2002 interview he said), add a comma between “interview” and “he”.
Fixed. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • This part (Pérez found his behavior nothing out of the ordinary) reads a little awkwardly to me. Maybe (Pérez found that his behavior was nothing out of the ordinary) instead?
Fixed. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • For this part (Her grandmother was forbidden to formulate a relationship with him), I would just say “form” instead of “formulate”.
Done. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • This sentence (Her grandmother was forbidden to formulate a relationship with him because of her social class and described it as "forbidden love”.) seems rather repetetive. You repeat that the relationship was forbidden twice in the same sentence. I would revise the sentence to avoid it.
Can you elaborate where it is written twice that the relationship was forbidden? – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • I have concerns with the placement of the “Fotos y Recuerdos” audio sample and the Chris Pérez image according to Wikipedia:SANDWICH.
Done. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • For this part (The latter genre is used heavily throughout Amor Prohibido.), I would just say the genre instead of “The latter genre”. You provide so many genres in the previous sentence that I am not sure what you mean by this.
Latter (in this context) means the genre that was immediately just said prior to the opening of a new sentence. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • The link for “Tejano” in the “Composition” section should be removed and put in this sentence (for which A.B. later told her it could be included in Selena's next Tejano recording) as it appears in an earlier section.
Done. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would link “mariachi”.
It is in the list of genres in composition. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • I am not certain about the structure of the “Reviews” subsection. I would suggest that you look to Wikipedia:Copyediting reception sections as a resource for structuring a reception section. The first two paragraphs appear like a rather random assortment of critics and their quotes, while the third paragraph jumps around a lot from listing its legacy/impacy to comparing it to a J-Lo album. There is not enough of a cohesive narrative here, and I would suggest looking over this again for improvement.
I tried my best at this one, took over an hour, but hopefully it flows better. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Would the first sentence of the third paragraph be more appropriate for the “Recognition” section as it more about the album’s legacy?
Not exactly, those reviews were mostly just statements about the album and not how it impacted anything in particular. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would suggest that you look at this part (Prior to peaking at number one, A.B.). I understand what you intended, but if you read the part literally, it means that A.B. peaked at number one.
Fixed. – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Great work with this article as a whole. I have some concerns with the prose as there a few areas where it should be improved to meet the requirements for a featured article. I would also request that you look at the “Reviews” subsection and rewrite it to make a more cohesive narrative. This is what pops out for me during a first read of the article, and I would be more than happy to provide more comments and suggestions once you have addressed everything. I hope that this review helps, and you have a wonderful rest of your day and/or night. Aoba47 (talk) 23:31, 21 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: Thanks for your review! I have gone through your review and hope it now satisfies the FA criteria. Best – jona ✉ 22:44, 22 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Wonderful work with this! I learned a lot from reading through the article. Makes me want to go and listen to a lot of Selena music now lol. I support this for promotion based on the prose. Aoba47 (talk) 04:02, 23 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
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