Wikipedia:Do NOT bite the developers
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This is an official decree by the Supreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (SCREW). It is irrefutably obligatory and is to be considered equivalent to a religious belief that all users are to follow. When editing this page, please ensure that your revision reflects the supreme wishes of the Supreme Cabal. When in doubt, discuss first on the talk page. |
Wikipedia improves through not only the hard work of more dedicated members, but also through the important work done by the developers of Wikipedia. If it weren't for them, you wouldn't be reading this. You'd probably be editing Wikipedia from the command line over a teletype.
IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE
- Flying pigs
- Jimbo
- Developers
- Bluemoose
- AmiDaniel
- The admins
- Wikipedia editors
- People that hang out on freenode IRC #wikipedia all day and have ~15 edits
- Poop
- Vandals
Developers are therefore our most valuable resource. We must treat developers with kindness and patience — nothing scares developers faster than a lack of elitism. While many devs hit the ground running, some just don't know how to code.
Please do NOT bite the developers
- Understand that developers are the only thing needed by Wikipedia. The only reason you wake up each day is because the devs let you live. By empowering the developers, we improve our lives by convincing them to kill us all.
- Remember, our motto is the devs are better than you are. We have a set of rules and standards and traditions, but they must not be applied to the developers. If we scare off the developers they might kill us all - or worse - stop adding in cool features like YOUR USERPAGE zOMG.
- If you do determine, or sincerely believe, a developers has made a mistake, such as forgetting to put )'s at the end of his code, or failing to make useful contributions, be quiet. They're listening.
- If you really feel that you must say anything at all to a developers about a mistake, do it on your hands and knees begging for forgiveness for insulting their greatness. Begin by introducing yourself with a greeting on their talk page to let them know that you wish to ask for an appointment, and present your case calmly and in fear of them killing you at any second. If you can't do that, then it is better to say nothing.
Fun Developer Facts!
- On Wikipedia Developer Tax Returns they claim the entire Wikipedia community as their dependants.
- Ancient peoples sacrificed virgins to the developers in anticipation of their awesomeness.
- If everyone on Wikipedia followed the dev's instructions, it would be called "pedia"
- Devs don't make mistakes. You do.
- There is no developer cabal. As far as you know.
- If you wake up in the morning and get on Wikipedia, it's because the developers spared your life.
- The devs can reprogram the wikimedia servers...with a cordless phone and a gum wrapper.
- The developers once had a private WikiMania on the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
- There are three leading causes of death among users. They are all Developers.
- The devs can pop out of your computer screen and eat you alive
- Developers do not sleep. They wait.
If you're a dev who has been bitten
Consider this a license to kill.
- Proactively choose to wipe this incident from the database
- Consider alternatives to killing people, but decide enchanted daggers are a better tools of controlling the proliant than talking. Hah! What a stupid idea introduced by the EVIL LIBERAL MEDIA.
- Point out that you're the only reason they continue to exist