User:Prisci8/sandbox

I will be focusing my revisions for the Environmental racism Wikipedia page in the following four general categories: grammar, organization, article's length, and neutral standpoint.

A) Grammar: Throughout the article, there is confusing syntax that can lose the attention of a reader. I will edit the article so that the logical order of thoughts presented within sentences is straightforward. I will edit sentences to be succinct and shorten very long sentences such as the one in "Background" that starts with, "In this line of thinking, environmental racism includes...".

B) Organization: Thoughts presented in the article are quite disorganized in that the article does not show a clear line of thinking or logical flow to help guide the reader. The cases of environmental racism are not presented in a logical manner and it seems as if they were added over time by users who specifically researched a specific case, without regards to making it fit into the article as a whole. There is also incoherent introduction of ideas in the article. For example, the article discusses the controversy around the definition of 'environmental racism' under the section "United States" and "Definition." To make the article flow in a logical manner, discourse on the definition of environmental racism should be restricted to the "Definition" section. I will edit the article so that thoughts are presented under the appropriate sections and edit the sections' titles to more specifically reflect what the text in the section talks about.

C) Article's length: There is a section in the Talk page titled "The page is too long." While a Wikipedia page can be comprehensive in presenting a neutral standpoint of a topic, I believe that this article is too long in its wordiness and biased presentation of cases. There are varying paragraph lengths for the different cases. For example, "Electronic waste in Guiyu, China" is significantly longer than "Chevron/Texaco in Ecuador" and "Niger Delta, Nigeria". The user who added the Guiyu, China case did extensive research in this area and caused an imbalance in the article. By cutting down on the examples of environmental racism, a neutral standpoint can be reached.

D) Neutral standpoint: Overall, the article mostly covers examples of environmental racism in communities of color. However, environmental injustice due to economic factors (poor whites in Appalachian Mountains) could be mentioned in the article to voice a neutral standpoint. Text about policy implications and international laws should also be included.

Some sources I will use include: • Bullard., R., Mohai, P., Saha, R., and Wright, B. (2007). "Toxic wastes and race at twenty 1987-2007." The United Church of Christ. Retrieved from https://www.nrdc.org/sites/default/files/toxic-wastes-and-race-at-twenty-1987-2007.pdf

• Bolin, B., Grineski, S., and Collins, T. (2005). "The geography of despair: Environmental racism and the making of South Phoenix, Arizona, USA." Human Ecology Review 12(2): 156-168.

• Lewis, R., and Willett, R. (2017). "The effect of environmental activism on the long-run market value of a company: a case study." Journal of Business Ethics, 140(3):455-476. doi: 10.1007/s10551-015-2686-1

• White-Newsome, J. (2016). "A policy approach toward climate justice." Journal of Black Studies and Research 46(3): 12-26. doi: 10.1080/00064246.2016.1188353