Patty and Selma

Template:Simpsons character Template:Simpsons character The Bouvier Sisters (Patricia "Patty" and Selma, voiced by Julie Kavner) are fictional characters on The Simpsons. They are Marge's two cynical chain-smoking older twin sisters, who work at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) and have a strong dislike for Homer. Selma is the older of two as she was born two minutes before Patty. Creator Matt Groening has said that he named the Simpsons after his own parents and two younger sisters, he has an older sister named Patty who is an art dealer. Julie Kavner has said that she had difficulty coming up with the voices for Marge's sisters, when producer James L. Brooks suggested that she voice Patty and Selma as characters "that suck the joy out of everything."

Distinguishing features

It is not easy to distinguish the twins from each other. According to Marge, Selma is "the one who likes Police Academy movies and Hummel figurines, and walking through the park on clear autumn days." The following physical descriptions may help.

• Patty's hair is united while Selma's hair is divided (Selma's hair is divided into an M shape).
• Patty wears a short-sleeved pink dress and pink shoes while Selma wears a sleeveless blue dress and blue shoes
• Patty wears orange triangular earrings while Selma wears purple circular earrings.
• Patty wears orange circular necklace pearls while Selma wears purple oval necklace pearls.
• In the early years of the series, Selma also wore "S" shaped earrings.

Personalities

Selma reportedly lacks the senses of taste and smell due to a childhood bottle rocket accident. Both twin sisters tend to be cynical and are noted for their addiction to tobacco smoking. They have a strong, mutual (and reciprocated) dislike for their brother-in-law.

Unlike Homer, however - who usually makes a perfunctionary effort to be polite to his sisters-in-law out of respect for his wife (if not a particularly sincere or committed one) - Patty and Selma have no hesitation in treating Homer with open rudeness and contempt. There were several instances where they did not seem to care when Homer faced a life-threatening situation. For instance, in "Homer's Triple Bypass," where Marge rushes to the hospital after receiving a telephone call that Homer had suffered a heart attack at work. Patty and Selma — instead of going to the hospital and comforting Marge in her time of need — remain seated at the kitchen table, continuing their activity of cutting coupons, gasping in amazement at the discounts and behaving as though nothing was wrong. They later attempt to set up Marge with a (rather sleazy) friend as a replacement for Homer, regardless of the fact that Homer was still very much alive. In "Mother Simpson", Homer fakes his death, and Patty and Selma show up holding a tombstone inscribed with "Homer Simpson. We are richer for having lost him"

Selma's favorite brand of cigarettes is identified as "Laramie Hi-Tars" while Patty's favorite brand of cigarettes is "Lady Laramie 100s". They share an apartment and work at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). On several occasions they have acted unprofessionally in their jobs. For example, they allowed Otto to get a driver's license during Otto's brief tenancy with the Simpson family due to their mutual dislike for Homer.

Like her twin sister Patty, Selma is an avid (and sometimes maniacal) fan of the 1980s TV series MacGyver, and they both seem to think MacGyver is a real man as opposed to a character played by Richard Dean Anderson. When Selma is married to Sideshow Bob, he insults Macgyver and she takes it very seriously and starts crying. Regardless of their orientation, they also seem to be erotically aroused by the show and the character, euphemistically needing a cigarette after each viewing of the show. Selma's favorite film actor was reportedly Troy McClure, to whom she was briefly married.

In a ground-breaking 2005 episode, Patty comes out of the closet as a lesbian, although hints of her sexual preference have been dropped many times, such as in "Bart After Dark", when she is seen coming out of a burlesque house.

Relationships

Patty and Selma are very close, working together and sharing an apartment.

Selma cares for her deceased aunt's iguana Jub-Jub (a name invented by Conan O'Brien according to a Simpsons DVD commentary and by Conan himself on his show), although this is (oddly enough) exactly the name given by author Lewis Carroll to a fictional creature of his own devising, the Jub-Jub Bird from the famous poem Jabberwocky.

Most recently, a menopausal Selma adopted a Chinese baby, Ling. During the adoption process, Selma had to pretend to be married to Homer, since the Chinese government only allows children to be adopted to successful couples. When the jig was up, Selma manages to keep the baby, as a Chinese dignitary becomes sympathetic, as she too was raised by a single mother.

The Bouviers and the Simpsons

As children, Patty and Selma were apparently domineering towards Marge and ridiculed her ambition of becoming an astronaut. However, their relationship seems to have improved over the years. As adults, the Bouvier twins appear to have a friendly relationship with their sister and frequently visit the Simpsons. They seem relatively fond of their nieces and nephew. They have, on occasion, watched the kids when their parents were out of town. However, Bart and Lisa would rather not be around when their aunts ask for a foot massage. Their idea of bonding with Lisa includes tutoring her in the belief that men are pigs, using Homer as the prime example.

Their relationship with Homer remains one of mutual dislike (although Selma seems to dislike Homer slightly less), which involves a continuous exchange of insults from day one. They compare their brother-in-law to a caveman, suggesting him capable of trading Maggie for beer and a nudie magazine. Selma and Patty have occasionally expressed their common hope that Marge will eventually divorce Homer. They are often quick in pointing out his attempts at [[sincerity and/or infidelity, and have offered to help Marge find a replacement for Homer (although Selma did help Marge find Homer). Despite this, the couple is still together after a decade of marriage.

Selma once took the Simpson children on a disastrous trip to the Duff Gardens theme park, where Bart manhandled several animatronic characters and Lisa went on a psychedelic trip after drinking "water" from an It's a Small World-like boat ride (later swimming naked in the Fermentarium and exclaiming "I am the lizard queen!"). After that however, Selma returned home with the children and asked Homer how he does it, referring to raising children. He misunderstood being as he had a toga on, and started to explain how to wrap a toga. She mentioned children and they exchanged a hug, implifying that Patty dislikes Homer more than Selma does. She told Homer she just couldn't cut it today, and he comforted her.

Romantic Liaisons

Despite being identical twins, Patty and Selma Bouvier have had very different track records when it comes to finding dates. According to Marge, Patty chose a life of celibacy, while Selma had celibacy thrust upon her (a sly reference to Malvolio in Shakespeare's Twelfth Night). This presumably explains her occasional attempts at romance. Her standards tend to be rather low, as evidenced by her comments on Charles Montgomery Burns: "Single, eh? Well, he passes the Selma-test."

In the February 20, 2005 episode, "There's Something About Marrying", Patty came out as a lesbian after Springfield legalized same-sex marriage. Marge was initially hurt that Patty had hidden her sexuality for years (though as Patty put it when Marge stated she "hadn't seen it coming"), "You could see it from Space!". However, before Patty's lesbian wedding, her partner Veronica is revealed to be a man who disguised his gender to get into the LPGA tour. Patty's sexuality was previously implied in an earlier episode when her voice emanated from an "in the closet" float at the Springfield Gay Pride Parade. Another hint occurred in "Treehouse of Horror III" where Patty sees Homer naked and remarks, "There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality." In yet another episode, a snapshot of Patty exiting the infamous Springfield burlesque house (with only a small fraction of her face blacked out) was displayed during a town hall meeting. Selma does indeed indignantly exclaim, "Patty!" when the picture is shown. In the episode "Homer Simpson, This is Your Wife", which aired on March 26, 2006, Patty wooed a tenured professor of Yale University away from her husband.

However, Patty did date Principal Skinner in the season 2 episode, Principal Charming. She refused to marry him, supposedly because she was too devoted to Selma as a sister to leave her alone. (Homer, in that episode, had been looking for a man for Selma and after Patty found one, Selma was depressed enough to go out on a date with Barney Gumble).

Selma has actively sought out a husband, having been married four times. Her full name has evolved into Selma Bouvier-Terwilliger-Hutz-McClure and possibly -Stu, after failed marriages to Robert "Sideshow Bob" Terwilliger, Lionel Hutz, Troy McClure, and Disco Stu. One person Selma refused to marry was Apu, because she said her collection of last names was long enough without Nahasapeemapetilon added to it. "From now on I'm only getting married for love...and maybe once more for money."

Unable to find companionship in a husband, Selma has also sought to have children. At one point she was considering using a sperm donor but after babysitting Bart and Lisa for a day, she realized that although she wanted something to love, she was not ready to have children and wound up adopting a pet iguana named Jub-Jub. After beginning menopause, however, she says that Jub-Jub could not tend to her when she was sick (saying that he would "only eat me when I'm dead"), and later decided she was ready for children; she wound up adopting her child, Ling (see below).

Ling Bouvier

Template:Simpsons character Ling Bouvier was adopted by Selma Bouvier in China after discovering that she had reached menopause, in the 2005 episode "Goo Goo Gai Pan". She bought Ling after posing as Homer Simpson's wife in order to fool the Chinese authorities into thinking that Ling would be part of a traditional family as opposed to a single mother.

Ling has only appeared in two episodes so far. First, she appeared in her adoption episode, and had a brief appearance in "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bangalore" when the twins open the door to discover "hostage" MacGyver (Richard Dean Anderson) missing. (Selma was holding Ling during the scene).

Quotes

• [A parole hearing is held for Sideshow Bob.]
  Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon.
  Defense lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now?
  [Several people raise their hands]
  Defense lawyer: Be honest.
  [Everyone in the room raises their hands, including Patty. A man sitting next to her gasps]
  Patty: [to him] Ehh, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.
• Patty: (to Homer) Hey, Hairyass Tubman!
• Selma: (to Homer) Hey, Saturated Fats!
• Selma: "How could anyone as big as him (Homer) just disappear?"
  Patty: "He disappeared into fat air"
• Patty: (to Bart) Some days we don't let the line move at all, we call those weekdays.

See also

• List of characters from The Simpsons
• Other twins in fiction