List of Metalocalypse characters
The following is a list of characters in the American animated television series Metalocalypse.
The Band
Very little is currently known about the band's history. When the series began, they were already extremely popular, so the band's actual rise to fame has yet to be explored. No info is currently known about how they met, when the band formed, or how many albums they have released.
Nathan Explosion
Born in Florida to Oscar and Rose Explosion, Nathan Explosion is the lead singer and the "lyrical visionary" of Dethklok. According to intelligence gathered by The Council, Nathan did not learn to speak until the age of five and was an unremarkable student in high school, excelling only in frog dissection and football, eventually dropping out without earning his GED.
Due to excessive drinking habits Nathan has to undergo repeated liver replacement surgery, vomiting blood on at least one occasion due to his condition. Whenever called upon to speak publicly for more than a few brief sentences, Nathan quickly degenerates into incoherence and becomes frustrated; however, in the episode "Dethkids," he is nonetheless capable of reciting all of Shakespeare's works for a Books on Tape collection.
Nathan often describes things in terms of whether or not they are "brutal" or "metal", and, according to an expert procured by the Council, shares a similar psychological profile as former Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin in his ability to "galvanise the proletariat." Nathan has shown himself to be clueless about most things outside the scope of metal. For instance, he was unaware of the fact that the band could fire their employees, and that a band that has never broken up cannot reunite. Nathan has proven that he isn't completely devoid of common sense, however. In "Performance Klok", Nathan figures out that Twinkletits was using the banana stickers as psychological validation, which is quite unusual for someone who knows nothing outside of metal. In "Skwisklok", when Toki's tooth falls out, Nathan explains that it was because Toki was eating too much candy. Also in "Skwisklok", Nathan comes up with the idea of loosening Skwisgaar's hand aquariums by pouring barbecue sauce on them. In "Bluesklok", Nathan and his bandmates showed exemplary negotiating skills, successfully receiving fame in the genre of Blues music from the devil for only a $5 Hot Topic gift card (a reference to the urban legend that blues musician Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil in exchange for prowess with the guitar). They were originally supposed to sell their souls for said talent.
Nathan always carries a digital recording device, in which he notes any interesting song material he may run across (usually limited to murder or similar acts of brutality). He has exacting standards, and will delete entire finished Dethklok albums if they do not ultimately meet his approval. He also hates wearing watches, and sometimes will buy large amounts of watches just to destroy them.A reason known for his destruction of watches is because he can't understand them.In the episode "Mordland" a fan explains he smashes anything which he can't understand. Nathan has his own brand of barbecue sauce known as "Explosion Sauce", a mustardy North Carolina blend with a hint of cilantro, which he is known to drink out of the bottle.
William Murderface
William Murderface plays the bass guitar for the band; however, this seems rather unnecessary, as Nathan has stated that they mix his bass out of "pretty much every song." He plays a black 5-string Gibson Thunderbird Bass with a white pickguard. He seems to play with his fingers and a pick. He was raised by his grandparents Thunderbolt and Stella Murderface after he lost his mother and father in a grim chainsaw murder/suicide, carried out by his father when William was just an infant. People usually refer to him as just "Murderface" except for his grandparents and people who formally address him. He has tattoos on his stomach which state "Pobody's Nerfect" and "This Mess Is A Place."
Murderface has a habit of urinating or referring to urination, and even has a one-man side project called "Planet Piss," to which he seems to have very little real commitment. He is usually seen carrying a knife, which he uses to eat, mutilate, destroy, and do other things. He is capable of playing an electric bass guitar with his penis and is famous for playing his solos with it. According to Pickles, he is a nihilist and likes to collect "morbid crap" (such as torture devices and Civil War memorabilia). Murderface endorses a brand of doorknobs known as "Murderknobs."
While in high school, Murderface's principal allowed him to play bass, drink, and smoke dope to earn his high school degree after Murderface threatened to cut his eyes out. He regularly throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way, which has resulted in several destroyed bass guitars. He owns a custom made dungeon/torture chamber and supposedly spends most of his time there when not with the band. Murderface thinks he is a great speller but demonstrated his lack of skills in his preparation and appearance on "Celebrity Spelling Bee" (for example, by saying "confusion" is spelled "k-u-n fusion"). After a near death experience (while a drunken passenger on the Murdercycle he collided with a lamp post and then tumbled onto the highway and was struck by a passing car), Murderface sought faith in such churches as the Church of Satan and the Church of the Atheists. Eventually he decided that all religions were the same boring crap. He is also, somehow, a notary public.
Murderface appears to be an American Civil War buff. When Dethklok gave Murderface President Kennedy's presidential limo as a birthday present, they replaced the driver's seat with the chair in which President Lincoln was assassinated, illiciting such happiness that he cried blood. Murderface also owns a pair of original shoes from the Civil War, which Dethklok's adopted son ruined, provoking tremendous anger. Finally, when William Murderface is lying in a hospital bed after a motorcycle accident, Skwisgaar returns a borrowed copy of Ken Burns' Civil War documentary.
Pickles the Drummer
Pickles the Drummer plays the drums and was raised in Tomahawk, Wisconsin. He is Irish-American. He speaks with a distinct Wisconsin accent and bears a strong hatred for his older brother, Seth, whom his parents Calvert and Molly always brag about despite his being an ex-con and living above his parents' garage, among other failings. He is the only member of Dethklok whose last name is unknown. Pickles joined Dethklok after singing and playing lead guitar in the L.A. rock band Snakes 'n Barrels.
Pickles claims to be immune to the negative effects of drugs because he "grew up smoking government weed every day" due to suffering from "kiddie glaucoma." Because of this, he is also immune to the government-created psychotropic drug known as "Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake" that erased the minds of every other member of Snakes 'n Barrels. Despite his drug immunity, he is clearly not immune to the negative effects of liquor. He seems to be an alcoholic of equal or greater calibre than Nathan, and is often seen surrounded by many bottles of liquor. Pickles has an endorsement deal for nickels with the United States Treasury; his nickels are called "Pickles' Nickels."
Skwisgaar Skwigelf
Skwisgaar Skwigelf is the lead guitarist of the band and also the fastest guitarist alive, as well as the tallest guitarist alive. Despite being the fastest guitarist alive, he can't read music and blames his "music dyslexia" for this. He plays a black Gibson Explorer with a white pickguard. Skwisgaar has become such a fast guitarist that it has become physically impossible for him to play slowly anymore. He practices his guitar constantly, bringing it to church and in the hot tub, and can even play while sleeping. He seems to dislike the Danish even though he often confuses them with the Dutch. He is also severely allergic to cilantro, which is made apparent when he tastes barbecue sauce with cilantro in it before a show and almost immediately goes into anaphylaxis (specifically, his face and hands swelled dramatically).
Skwisgaar is from Sweden, and he consequently possesses a strong Swedish accent. He has a very poor grasp of English grammar, putting "s"'s at the end of many words he says, and conversely dropping "s"'s from some words that require them, such as "copies" and "Pickles." In the episode "Dethkids," Skwisgaar is referred to as the band's Lothario; he often brags about his many sexual conquests to Toki (going so far as to make the claim of having sex with at least 500 women the last time he was in Finland), who seems to resent it. Skwisgaar is attracted primarily to older women, once propositioning an elderly grandmother for sex and, in the episode "Dethkids," a television announcer mentions his desire for "MILFs, GMILFs, and soon-to-be-MILFs."
Skwisgaar has been in a large number of bands prior to joining Dethklok, including Agnostic Priest, Gangagar Eldeleel-Alele, Gognog Mug Alugdug, Fuckface Academy, Sausage Assassin, Financially Raped, and Smugly Dismissed to name a few. Other than that, he claims to have been in "pretty much every band, ever." Skwisgaar also refers to things he hates as "dildos". One episode shows his hands being insured for ten billion dollars, one billion for each finger.
Toki Wartooth
Toki Wartooth is the rhythm guitarist and the second fastest guitarist alive, though he too can't read music. Toki is the only member to not have been in a band before Dethklok. Similar to Skwisgaar, Toki can physically no longer play the guitar slowly. He plays a white on black Gibson Flying-V guitar. He hails from an abandoned village near Lillehammer, Norway, the product of a seemingly unholy union between Anja and the Reverend Aslaug Wartooth. Both of his parents dress in a very old world style (much like the Amish), vaguely recalling the painting American Gothic. During the episode in which Toki's parents visit, Toki becomes catatonic. Toki does, however, have pictures of them hung in his room. Cardinal Ravenwood mentions seeing "father killing son in the most brutal manner" when told of Toki's parents. In "Dethkids," a flashback shows Toki as a child, and his mother back hands him for no apparent reason.
Toki's personality is more child-like, innocent, and good-natured compared to the rest of the band, which is why he is a popular icon to children as shown in "Dethkids". He has several naīve beliefs, such as the idea that adult teeth will grow back because baby teeth do, and occasionally has whimsical fantasies, one of which is singing a Beatles-esque song under the sea with "underwater friends". Nonetheless, he manages to fit in with the rest of the band. Despite his personality, Toki has shown similar violent tendencies to those of his bandmates. He asked a priest from the Church of Satan for revenge on Rachael Ray from the Food Network (in the form of her eyes falling out or her breasts falling off) for unspecified reasons, and was indirectly responsible for the death of the lead singer of the Christian rock band Prayer Bolt. Being the only two members of the band to be born outside of the United States, Toki and Skwisgaar have a somewhat brotherly relationship. Like Skwisgaar, he is stereotypically Scandinavian with light hair and eyes and a tendency to slur his words.
Aside from playing guitar, he spends much of his free time building scale models. He has an endorsement deal with "Willard Wonky Candy-Hand Candy"-brand candies, who ship him vast amounts of free candy as part of his payment. Because of this, he develops a very extreme case of diabetes which causes him to slip in and out of comas (at least for the length of the episode). Toki also seems to have an endorsement deal for a "Metal"-brand cereal on the first episode, as there is a cereal box in his shopping cart with his face on it. In "Bluesklok", Toki appears toned and muscular, while the rest of Dethklok ranges from skinny (Skwisgaar, Pickles) to overweight (Nathan, Murderface). Unlike the rest of Dethklok, Toki tans instead of becoming sunburned.
On occasion, Toki makes statements or is placed in situations with homoerotic subtext through his misunderstanding of English. An example is mistaking the term "blowjob" to mean "nosebleed" and proudly announcing, "I can gives myself a real cool blowjob!" In another instance, when Skwisgaar refers to Murderface's party as a sausage festival, Toki believes he means an actual sasuage festival and proclaims "I love sausage festival!" Skwisgaar attempted to explain the difference between the two with little success. Also, in "Murdering Outside the Box" Toki purchases a vibrating strap-on, thinking it was a codpiece.
The Tribunal
In every episode, an Illuminati-style group of eight men are shown meeting together to discuss Dethklok's latest activities and the dangers they pose. In their first meeting, all they know is the information given in the show's theme song (word for word), but they learn much more through research on fansites and other resources. Also at the first meeting, they mention that Dethklok's lineup resembles figures in an ancient Sumerian prophecy. They meet in a room dominated by nine television sets stacked in a three-by-three square, which usually functions as one big TV but will divide to illustrate various points. The screens show news reports, Dethklok footage, background profiles, and other usable information. The meeting room seems to be underground, as it has no windows and no visible doors. A section of the wall opens to allow people to enter and exit. There is also a logo on the wall, depicting an eagle sitting on top of the world. Their briefings are led by Senator Stampingston, who usually has experts speak based on whatever Dethklok is doing in the episode. The group has both military and religious leaders in its rank, among others. At its head is Mr. Selatcia, an elderly man who sits in a throne in the center.
Members
- Senator Stampingston – He is the main speaker who reports on Dethklok's current activities. He doesn't seem to have a seat, instead standing in front of the television sets. He has a diplomatic standpoint for the issues against Dethklok, often recommending spies and other forms of finding out more about Dethklok.
- General Crozier – Sitting on the farthest left, he is an American Army general. Mr. Selatcia has stated that his job within the council is gathering information and nothing more, although he is not happy with this. He has a military standpoint for the issues against Dethklok. He usually recommends military action against Dethklok, often in the form of assassination. General Crozier has been known to go against the Council's wishes, at one point going as far to send an assassin to Mordhaus to eliminate Dethklok, telling the others he was merely "gathering information." He and Cardinal Ravenwood have formed an alliance against Mr. Selatcia in the event that he do something wrong.
- Cardinal Ravenwood – He is an elderly priest who has a religious standpoint for the issues against Dethklok. He often thinks God will deal with whatever Dethklok is doing. Often, he has been seen to have prophetic visions of the outcomes of Dethklok's current activities. During the episode "Skwisklok", Ravenwood admits that he is looking forward to Skwisgaar's pay-per-view event, as he has taken up playing the guitar. He has had dreams in which Selatcia speaks to him in an unknown language and interprets this as a sign that he will die.
- Mr. Selatcia – The elder, who sits in a throne in the center, is usually the last to speak, and always has the final word on what course of action the group will take. Oddly enough, he always recommends inaction, ordering the council to allow what is occurring to take place undisturbed. General Crozier has had Selatcia's background checked and finds it "murky." Crozier has asked Ravenwood to join him against Selatcia if and when it becomes necessary.
There are four other members, but none of them have been named or have spoken so far.
Experts
- Dr. Gibbons – Birthday expert hired to discuss Murderface and his birthday
- Dr. Armand Scatarak Frederickshaven – Mythology expert hired to discuss the Finnish lake troll
- Dr. Donald Gorfield – Comedy specialist hired to discuss how comedy affects people
- Dr. Romumilif Chesterfield – Military Pharmicist Expert hired to explain the drug "Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake" and give it to the Snakes N' Barrels members
- Dr. Ronald von Moldenberg – Endorsement specialist hired to discuss Dethklok's transition to endorsement deals. Voiced by King Diamond.
- Dr. Natasha Nashinkanowich – Dethklok specialist that runs a Dethklok think tank in Washington, DC. Specializes in Nathan Explosion studies. Hired to discuss Nathan Explosion's effect on the world if he were to continue his education.
- Vincenzo D'allimamma La Corningston III - Celebrity depression expert who discusses Dethklok's depression and their decision to turn to Mashed Potato Johnson for enlightenment.
- Professor Jerry Gustav Munndig – Child control expert who resembles kiddie show host, Captain Kangaroo (Bob Keeshan). Explains about child control programs, hippies, and what would happen if children following Toki would be raised on metal.
Recurring characters
Dethklok's manager
Dethklok's unnamed manager is usually the voice of reason against Dethklok's constant disregard of law and logic. Nathan Explosion describes one of the manager's jobs as talking the band out of the terrible ideas they come up with while drunk. He acts as manager, lawyer, and advisor to Dethklok, protecting the band against everything from slowing record sales to themselves. However, he usually supports Dethklok's violence, as he had no problems leading two blackmail-threatening Dethklok fans to their deaths in one episode, even producing a half-grin while ordering their execution, and later allowing the band to blame their rampant embezzlement from their own company on a recently-killed employee (who was actually an assassin). Although he is not normally seen doing so, the advisor is also the voice actor for the band's morbid mascot, "Face Bones." He is one of the few individuals seen to interact with Dethklok for any significant length of time and evade subsequent death or mutilation. It was hinted at in "Dethclown" that he lives in Mordhaus with the band, as he was seen wearing a bathrobe while giving Toki a lecture in the middle of the night with the rest of the band. There are rumors that he is the devil and Dethklok sold their souls to him. Apparently he also lives somewhere in Mordhaus as seen in "Dethclown"
Dethklok's roadies
Dethklok's roadies are the brutal overseers of the band's various properties and concerts. They all wear black masks and black uniforms, and in general resemble medieval executioners; the pilot of Dethklok's helicopter seems to be the exception. They faithfully do Dethklok's bidding, beating and/or killing whomever Dethklok asks them to as well as performing more mundane tasks such as cleaning up after the band and general maintenance. In order to prove their loyality to Dethklok, they have a Dethklok emblem burned into the back of their necks permanently. They always refer to the members of Dethklok as "My Lord(s)" or "My Master(s)" (or in the case of the Mordhaus librarian, "sweetie") and are in turn referred to by their numeric designation.
Curiously, the submarine used by Dethklok to record their underwater album was crewed by what appeared to be members of the Russian Navy, as opposed to the roadies seen at Mordhaus and elsewhere.
Jean-Pierre
Jean-Pierre is Dethklok's faithful chef, the most recent in a long line of chefs to cater to the band. He is passionately loyal to his employers, having stated that he would rather have his "brain scooped out with a melon baller" than miss the opportunity to serve Dethklok, despite the job's inherent risks. As pointed out by Skwisgaar, all of the chefs previously employed by Dethklok, "has died a horribles deaths," a fate that Jean-Pierre has (so far) narrowly avoided.
Jean-Pierre was once a normal stereotypical French chef, but was mangled when a stray firework missile shot into the band's helicopter during a live performance. When the missile detonated, Jean-Pierre was thrown out of the helicopter and straight into the rotor blades. He was mangled to such an extent that his body was split into several pieces, making it necessary to connect them together via a complex and strange-looking machine in order to keep him alive, which cost Dethklok $10,000 a day. After realizing that they couldn't feed themselves the band sewed him back together, albeit very poorly. The act gave Nathan inspiration for a song, aptly titled "Sewn Back Together Wrong," in addition to giving Jean-Pierre a hideous and mutated appearance (some parts were sewn on backward). Despite the dubious quality of his reconstruction Jean-Pierre returned to work enthusiastically, and his current condition does not appear to have adversely affected his skills as a chef.
Jean-Pierre is indirectly responsible for the death of the Queen of Denmark; having been asked to bake a "metal" birthday cake he took the request literally and made a cake with mercury frosting. Though he warned people not to sample the frosting, as it would kill them, the Queen took a taste before he could stop her. She subsequently died of mercury poisoning.
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler
Dick Knubbler is a music producer sent to monitor Dethklok's album recording in the episode "Dethwater". Knubbler has a long list of felonies, including tax evasion, disfiguring a co-worker's face with acid, and soliciting prostitution and drugs, all of which are supposed to lead to a 25-year sentence. The Council acquired his services as a "man on the inside" to report on Dethklok's happenings during the recording. After hearing the track "Mermaider" (with his eyes bleeding and glasses breaking due to the volume level), his tune changed, and he began praising Dethklok and the album, promising to report to the label upon his return to the surface. While travelling back, he turned down his planned report to the Council. Afterwards, his eyes exploded from rapid decompression while trying to escape from a giant mutated seahorse.
In cutaways from the end credits, a newspaper headline said "New Dethklok Album is so awesome, it blinds Producer." Another cutaway from a magazine cover showed Knubbler's supposed resurgence on the music scene, and detailed his eye surgery for his new "dark metal" robotic eyes. In the episode "Dethkomedy", Knubbler (with robotic eyes intact) makes a cameo in the crowd of Dethklok's court case, and is seen laughing at jokes made by the band. He returned in the episode "Dethkids", where he was the producer for William Murderface's long-awaited Planet Piss side project, and during the recording of the song shows the view from his robotic eyes, and demonstrates that they can look in two different directions at once.
Dr. Rockso
Dr. Rockso is a "rock n' roll clown". He also does cocaine, a fact that he mentions very frequently. He always talks in an irritatingly high pitched voice. He wears a very tight green jumpsuit, with a purple hat, long blue wig, KISS-like facepaint, pink wristbands and boots, and a spiky red nose. In the episode "Happy Dethday", Dethklok hired him as entertainment for Murderface's birthday party, where he made him a fake bass out of balloons. Not long after, Murderface snapped and began shoving the balloon bass down Rockso's throat, before his roadies began repeatedly kicking him. He reappeared in a short cameo in "Bluesklok", during The Council's presentation on celebrity depression.
Dr. Rockso made his proper return in "Dethclown", where he befriended Toki Wartooth (how they became friends isn't elaborated upon, though Toki said he was funny). They're seen joy-riding in Murderface's limo in the middle of the night, while drinking and smashing into various things. After they sneak back into Mordhaus, Rockso sticks his hand down Murderface's pants, prompting him to scream very loudly. The band ties up Rockso and lectures Toki about the irresponsibility of his behavior and the fact that clowns are "not metal." (Toki objects, claiming that as clowns are "the most hated creatures on the face of the earth," hanging out with one is indeed "metal.") After offering him a ride home, Dethklok's manager told the roadies to "put the boots to him", where he was repeatedly kicked again, and told him to walk home. The Council found out about this and hired Dr. Rockso to return to Mordhaus and gather information about Dethklok using a camera in his hat, while avoiding their manager.
After Toki re-invited Dr. Rockso to Mordhaus, he was almost immediately told to speak with Dethklok's manager, where he was told to stay in the main room, and sign a confidentiality form and pain waiver. When he returned, he shown the band his music video for "I'm Just a Rock 'N Roll Clown" (which was banned from MTV because his "junk" could be seen through his jumpsuit). While they watched, he snuck around Mordhaus, taking pictures, before the manager found him. Rockso pulled a gun on him, and shot one of the roadies, before running out of the house and jumping through a window amid gunfire. Dethklok's manager opted not to have anyone try and kill him, instead to "see where he goes". He lived to report back to the Council, which probably means that he'll return in a later episode.
One-time characters
In each episode, the band will often meet with random people for various reasons, usually relating to their music. With a few exceptions, most of the people they meet are either killed or horribly mutilated, often by sheer coincidence.
- Prince Henry of Denmark – The young and stupid heir to the throne of Denmark. His idol Murderface headbutted him during a concert, fracturing his skull. His face was autographed by Skwisgaar, injuring him further. He was last of the Danish royalty at the time of his mother's death from mercury poisoning.
- Mustakrakish, the Lake Troll – A lake troll risen from its thousand-year sleep by Dethklok when they took passages from the Finnish Necronomicon to make the lyrics for a song. The song was intended to be offered as a new national anthem in apology for almost destroying Finland on a previous tour. Instead, it awoke the Mustakrakish who terrorized nearby towns. After a failed attempt at a death metal lullaby, Mustakrakish died after tearing its organs out of its own throat in an attempt to dislodge Murderface's Dethphone from its airway.
- Finnish bartender – Nameless bartender who helps Dethklok defeat Mustakakrish the Troll by introducing them to acoustic instruments, in order to put the troll back to sleep after it destroys the power grid. He was eaten by the troll.
- Lorkey the Sailor – A sea captain that trains Dethklok to be funny for their comedy routines. Committed suicide after realizing he couldn't teach them any more. Voiced by Metallica frontman James Hetfield.
- Nick Ibsen – A TV personality resembling Larry King. He was killed by electrocution through a pool of his own blood.
- Serveta Skwigelf – Former Miss Sweden 1956, and the neglectful, promiscuous single mother of Skwisgaar.
- Anja and Reverend Auslarg Wartooth – The extremely religious parents of Toki. They live in an abandoned village near Lillehammer, Norway. They never speak
- Stella and Thunderbolt Murderface – Grandparents who raised William after the chainsaw murder/suicide of his parents. Thunderbolt suffered a massive stroke some time in the past and Stella tows him in a wagon behind her Rascal scooter until Murderface buys him a wheelchair controlled by blinking.
- Calvert and Molly – Pickles' parents. They reside in Tomahawk, Wisconsin.
- Seth – Pickles' older brother. An ex-con who constantly tries to make money off of Pickles' fame.
- Rose and Oscar Explosion – Nathan's parents. They live in Victory Gardens, an armed forces retirement community in Florida.
- Doctor Johnathan Twinkletits (pronounced "twin-klet-its") – A insane band therapist hired to keep Dethklok from having another fight on-stage. Former member of a band known as "The Amazlingtons," whom he killed after they disbanded. When he attempted to kill Dethklok after they fired him, he slipped on a banana sticker and fell into Mordhaus's front yard where the "yard wolves" reside. The wolves subsequently ate him.
- Antonio "Tony" DiMarco Thunderbottom – Bassist from Snakes 'n Barrels. A former alcoholic and drug addict, now sober. He was driven insane by the military-developed drug "Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake." Voiced by Arch Enemy guitarist Michael Amott.
- Sammy "Candynose" Twinskins – Drummer from Snakes 'n Barrels. Formerly addicted to cocaine, but has since become sober. He was driven insane by the military-developed drug "Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake." Voiced by Nevermore singer Warrel Dane.
- Snizzy "Snazz" Bullets – Rhythm Guitar player from Snakes 'n Barrels. Suffers from partial facial paralysis due to hallucinogen and heroin abuse. He was driven insane by the military-developed drug "Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake." Voiced by Nevermore guitarist Steve Smyth.
- Eric and Edgar Jomfrune – Two brothers who dropped out of Harvard to become dedicated Dethklok fans. Proprietors of diefordethklok.com, the biggest Dethklok fansite in existence. Eric's head was shot off by one of Dethklok's sniper roadies. Edgar, on the other hand, seemingly managed to evade every sniper bullet despite being in a wheelchair. It is currently unknown if he is still alive.
- Fat Kid/Fatty/Fatty Ding-Dong/Fat Tits (the list goes on and on) – Feral mutant child adopted by Dethklok in a misguided attempt to get a tax writeoff. They treat him like a pet rather than a person. They neuter him in an attempt to calm him down, arguing that it is less Nazi-like than limiting his sugar intake. Responsible for cutting the London Philharmonic Orchestra in half with beams from Dethklok's "Mother-Laser-Fucking Light Show." He was killed by feral cats after being left on an island which Dethklok had earlier dubbed the "Dethklok Home for Wayward Kitties".
- Sergio Pampenheiser – Television personality selling quality guitars on TV. It is likely that Sergio is a reference to the musician-turned-guitar-salesman Esteban, who is famous for selling quality guitars at affordable prices on television shopping networks.
- 216 – Silent government agent sent to kill Dethklok disguised as one of their workers. Murdered two Dethklok employees while trying to get to Dethklok. He was impaled on Murderface's codpiece after being tripped by the dwarfish Dethklok employee who was also identified as number 216.
- Mashed Potato Johnson – The oldest living blues guitarist. Supposedly made a deal with the devil for blues talent. Parody of Robert Johnson.
- The Blues Devil – A being with whom people sell their souls (or in Dethklok's case, a $5 Hot Topic gift card) in exchange for fame in the blues genre.
- Prayer Bolt – Christian rock band whose show Dethklok attended to help Murderface find religion. The lead singer was impaled when he stage dived onto an exposed board.
- Juliette Sarmansadandle – Dying, wheelchair-bound little girl whose last wish is to meet Toki. She makes Toki a DVD with her playing a Guitar Hero guitar that causes him to flash back to his own childhood and realize that children can be "brutal," but she is already dead by the time he gets there.