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Talk:Manilal Dwivedi/GA1

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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Yashthepunisher (talk | contribs) at 14:46, 18 July 2019 (GA Review). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

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Reviewer: Yashthepunisher (talk · contribs) 08:27, 18 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]


I will be reviewing this. Yashthepunisher (talk) 08:27, 18 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • "was a Gujarati-language writer, poet, novelist and essayist, and a philosopher and social reformer." I think it will read better as, "was a Gujarati-language writer, poet, novelist, essayist, philosopher and social reformer.
  • Avoid using words like 'greatly'. They are PEACOCK-ish and non-neutral.
  • I think the first para is quite disoriented. What Narmad thought of Manilal should be mentioned somewhere in the last para.
  • Lead shouldn't have references, but they should be sources elsewhere in the article.
  • Was he commonly known as Manilal? Make sure the naming follows MOS:SURNAME.
  • "Manilal belongs to the Pandit Yuga (English: the Age of Scholars)." Sentences are not written with their translations like this. Remove the english meaning since its been explained in the latter part.
  • The opening sentence of the third para should start with his name instead of a 'he'.
  • How did he die? Mention that in the lead.
  • Was he married or not? Mention that also in the lead.
  • Did he receive any award or honour for his work? Ditto, if any.
Infobox
  • British India, Nadiad and Bombay presidency are linked twice.
  • You mention him as an 'editor' in the infobox, but not in the lead. Why so?
  • Link Pandit era.
Early life
  • "Manilal was born to a Sathodara Nagar family at Nadiad, Gujarat, on 26 September 1858." The sentence order is not right. First mention his DOB, then the place.
  • I don't see the relevance to mention his grand-father.
  • Is it relevant to mention Manilal inheriting some money and property? I mean what has it got to do with Manilal?
  • "On the day after Manilal's birth". You mean the day after Manilal's birth or...otherwise? Please clarify.
  • "He joined Elphinstone College." He joined 'the' Elphinstone College.
  • "Under pressure from his father to earn a wage." A 'the' is missing after 'Under'.
  • A comma is missing after July 1880.
  • Why 'Government High School' is in all caps? Was it the exact name of the school?

Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:46, 18 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]