Talk:Malcolm Jardine/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Harrias ^talk 11:25, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Overall a pretty solid article; nothing special, but a nice read. A few little points (which I know you'll apperciate :P):

"...who seemed to be embarked upon a..." – The language sounds a bit off here, maybe try rewording the sentence somehow?

Done. --Sarastro1 (talk) 19:08, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Do you have any details on when he moved from India to Britain? The article states he was born in India, but then educated in Scotland, did the family move over, or was he sent for his education?

Pretty much everything is in there that I have got. No details, but Fettes is/was a boarding school, so I added that. I'd imagine the family stayed in India, but not sure once his father died. --Sarastro1 (talk) 19:08, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"..playing in all Oxford's home games." – Personal preference here, so ignore me if you wish, but I'd rather this was "..playing in any of Oxford's home games."

Agree. Oops! Done. --Sarastro1 (talk) 19:08, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"..began with his team had lost two wickets without scoring any runs." – Should be either "..began when his.." or "..began after his.."

Done. --Sarastro1 (talk) 19:08, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"..for four and three quarter hours.." – Hmm. This reads fine, but looking at it, it's a bit weird because of the numbers carrying different weights. Can't think of anyway to improve it though.

Either four-and-three-quarter or four and three-quarter would look about the same. Changes to minutes. --Sarastro1 (talk) 19:08, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"..but he had not made his first-class debut in 1892." – Should be "..had not yet.." as your statement doesn't rule out a debut in 1891 etc.

Done. --Sarastro1 (talk) 19:08, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Any details on how he died? No big problem if not.

As above, this is all I've got. --Sarastro1 (talk) 19:08, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Like I said, no big issues with this article; I'm pretty certain you can clear these comments pretty quickly, so I won't put the article on hold for the moment. Harrias ^talk 12:21, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

All points addressed. --Sarastro1 (talk) 19:08, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]