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'{{one source|date=June 2013}} An '''open relationship''' is an [[interpersonal relationship]] in which the parties want to be together but agree to a form of a [[non-monogamous]] relationship.<ref name="Taormino2008"/> This means that they agree that a romantic or [[intimate relationship]] with people hooking up with their partner is accepted, permitted, or tolerated. Generally, an open relationship is when the parties involved have two or more [[romance (love)|romantic]] or [[Human sexuality|sexual]] relationships occurring at the same time either as a short-term relationship, such as dating, or a long-term relationship, such as marriage.<ref name="Collective2005"/> The concept of an open relationship has been recognized since the 1970s.<ref name="Web MD">{{cite web|last=Doheny|first=Kathleen|title=The Truth About Open Marriage|url=http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/the-truth-about-open-marriage|publisher=Web MD|accessdate=8 June 2013}}</ref> ==Types of open relationships== To a large degree, open relationships are a generalization of the concept of a relationship beyond monogamous relationships.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> A form of open relationship is the [[open marriage]], in which the participants in a marriage have an open relationship.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> There are several different styles of open relationships. Some examples include: * Multi-partner relationships, between three or more partners where a sexual relationship does not occur between all of the parties involved.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> * Hybrid relationships, when one partner is nonmonogamous and the other is [[monogamous]].<ref name="Taormino2008" /> * [[#Swinging|Swinging]], in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity. The term open relationship is sometimes used interchangeably with the closely related term [[polyamory]], but the two concepts are not identical. The main unifying element to open relationship styles is non-exclusivity of romantic or sexual relationships. ==Prevalence== {{Globalize|section|date=February 2012}} Some believe that open relationships occur more frequently in certain demographics, such as the young rather than the old in America, including, more specifically, the college-educated middle-class, rather than the uneducated working-class, or people of certain ethnic and/or other racial minorities.<ref name="Hollander1974" /> Open relationships may also be more common among females rather than males, especially those in the same categories, such as college-educated, middle-class, white, younger Americans.<ref name="Hollander1974" /> This may be because women have more to gain by stressing this idea of equal rights, and that the women’s rights movement supports the idea of open relationships.<ref name="Hollander1974" /> A 1974 study showed that male students who either cohabit or live in a communal group are more likely to become involved in open relationships than females, and are still more interested in the concept than females even if not participating in open relationships.<ref name="Hollander1974" /> A survey taken by gay men's "health and life magazine", ''FS Magazine'', 41% of [[gay men]] interviewed have been in an open relationship and of the men who have been in open relationships, 27% believe that it is a good thing.<ref>{{cite news|last1=Duffy|first1=Nick|title=Nearly half of gay men have had an open relationship|url=http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2016/02/03/nearly-half-of-gay-men-have-had-an-open-relationship/|accessdate=6 February 2016|work=[[PinkNews]]|date=3 February 2016}}</ref><ref>{{cite news|last1=Haggas|first1=Stuart|title=Open Relationships Uncovered|url=https://www.fsmag.org.uk/fs152-open-relationships-uncovered|accessdate=6 February 2016|work=FS Magazine|issue=152|date=February 2016}}</ref> Many couples within open relationships are dual-career, meaning that both primary partners have a stable job and/or a career. Both men and women in these, especially in closed groups, are also more likely to be in managerial jobs. Most also are either [[childfree]], or post child-rearing.<ref name="Ramey" /> ==Reasons for entering an open relationship== An open relationship may form for various reasons. These include: * falling in love with another person and not wanting to end the old relationship * being oneself where one is non-monogamous by nature (i.e. born that way) * a difference emerging between two people in a relationship * one partner realizing that they are unable to fulfill the other's needs<ref name="Taormino2008" /> * varying [[sex drive]] between partners<ref name="Taormino2008" /> * one or both partners desiring more freedom, companionship, intellectual variety, or a variety of sexual partners<ref name="Ramey1975" /> * a need for challenge: some people feel that their relationship is inadequate unless they are being challenged. Open relationships may create a sense of [[jealousy]], [[attachment theory|attachment]], or possessiveness, all of which are challenges for a relationship to work through.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> These emotions can also lead to greater [[self-awareness]] which may be seen as satisfying to those in open relationships.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> * the enjoyment of [[new relationship energy]], the state of heightened emotional and sexual receptivity and excitement experienced during the formation of a new relationship<ref name="Taormino2008" /> * being able to meet other couples and individuals with a similar outlook with whom the participants can connect with on an intellectual and emotional level<ref name="Ramey" /> * personal issues, using sex with different people as a form of distraction from certain problems (having troubles in a dysfunctional family, lacking friends, having been cheated on and trying to compensate for it, working in a stressful environment) or as a way of proving oneself that they are sexually attractive * being in a relationship of convenience, that is, one that is not based on mutual feeling of love towards each other (anymore), but rather on economic or social factors * distance - when partners live in separate parts of the world for part or all of the time * sex may be more pleasing, and the participants may engage in it more frequently than those in an average couple.<ref name="Ramey"/> ==Reasons for avoiding an open relationship== Many couples consider open relationships, but choose not to follow through with the idea. If a person attempts to approach their committed monogamous partner about starting an open relationship, the monogamous partner may convince or force them to either stay monogamous or pursue a new partner.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> There may also be concern that when beginning an open relationship, a partner may become only concerned in their personal development and pay less attention to their partner.<ref name="LinssenWik2010" /> Jealousy is often present in monogamous relationships, and adding one or more partners to the relationship may cause it to increase.<ref name="LinssenWik2010" /> Results of some studies have suggested that jealousy is the problem in open relationships because the actual involvement of a third party is seen as a trigger.<ref name="Buunk1981" /> In Constantine & Constantine (1971), the researchers found that 80% of participants in open relationships had experienced jealousy at one point or another.<ref name="Buunk1981" /> Cultural pressure may also dissuade switching to an open relationship. There is a commonly held societal stereotype that those involved in open relationships are less committed or mature than those who are in monogamous relationships; and films, media, and self-help books present the message that to desire more than one partner means not having a "true" relationship. Desiring an open relationship is also often claimed to be a phase that a person is passing through before being ready to "settle down".<ref name="Taormino2008" /> The logistics of an open relationship may be difficult to cope with, especially if the partners reside together, split finances, own property, or parent children.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> ===Religious reasons=== {{Main article|Fornication}} {{See also|Extramarital sex#Religions|Adultery#Abrahamic religions}} ==Successful open relationships== One of the most significant factors that aids a relationship in being successful is that it is about making the relationship fit the needs of all parties involved. No two open relationships will be the same, and the relationship will change due to the current circumstances at each specific moment. The style of the open relationship will mirror the parties' involved values, goals, desires, needs and philosophies.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> The most successful relationships have been those that take longer to establish. By taking the time to develop a clear idea of what both partners want out of the openness of a relationship, it allows the parties involved to self-reflect, process their emotions, deal with possible conflicts, and find ways to cope with the change from monogamy to nonmonogamy.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> Negotiating the details of the open relationship is important throughout the communication process. Topics that are commonly found in negotiations between couples include honesty, the level of maintenance, trust, boundaries and time management.<ref name="Watson" /> Other tools that couples utilize in the negotiation process include allowing partners to [[veto]] new relationships, prior permission, and interaction between partners. This helps to reassure each partner in the relationship that their opinion is important and matters. However, although ability to veto can be a useful tool in negotiation, a successful negotiation and open relationship can still occur without it. Some reject veto power because they believe it limits their partner from experiencing a new relationship and limits their freedom.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> ===Boundaries=== Types of boundaries include physical, which is along the lines of not touching someone without permission being given; sexual boundaries; and emotional boundaries, which is avoiding the discussion of specific emotions.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> Boundaries help to set out rules for what is and is not acceptable to the members of the relationship. They also help people to feel safe and that they are just as important in the open relationship as their partners.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> Examples of boundaries that are set could include:<ref name="Taormino2008" /> * Who (geographically and interpersonally, such as in the community, friends, family, et cetera) could be an additional partner; * What types of physical limits are placed on that relationship (kissing, dating, or other sexual activities); * Whether sexual relations will take place in a separate bedroom or playroom. Some couples create a physical relationship contract. These can be useful in not only negotiating, but also clearly articulating the needs, wants, limits, expectations, and commitments that are expected of the parties involved.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> ===Time management=== Adequate [[time management]] can contribute to the success of an open relationship. Even though having a serious commitment with one partner is common, negotiating the time spent among all partners is still important. Although the desire to give an unlimited amount of love, energy, and emotion to others is common, the limited amount of time in a day limits the actual time spent with each partner. Some find that if they cannot evenly distribute their time, they forego a partner.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> Time management can also be related to [[equity theory]], which stresses the importance of fairness in relationships.<ref name="Watson" /> ==Swinging== {{main article|Swinging (sexual practice)}} Swinging is a form of open relationship in which the partners in a [[committed relationship]] engage in [[Human sexual activity|sexual activities]] with others at the same time. Swingers may regard the practice as a [[recreational sex|recreational]] or social activity<ref name="case_for_swingers">{{cite journal |journal=Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality |last=Bergstrand |first=Curtis |author2=Blevins Williams, Jennifer |date=2000-10-10 |title=Today's Alternative Marriage Styles: The Case of Swingers |volume=3 |accessdate=2010-01-24 |url=http://www.ejhs.org/volume3/swing/body.htm}} </ref><ref>{{Cite web|url=http://home.netcom.com/~jonnall/babylon/pattys.htm|title=Why Swing?|accessdate=4 October 2012}}</ref> that adds variety or excitement into their otherwise conventional sex lives or for curiosity. Swingers who engage in casual sex maintain that sex among swingers is often more frank and deliberative and therefore more honest than infidelity. Some couples see swinging as a healthy outlet and means to strengthen their relationship. Swinging can take place in various contexts, including spontaneous sexual activity involving partner swapping at an informal social gathering of friends, a formal swinger party or partner-swapping party, and a regular gathering in a [[sex club]] (or swinger club) or residence.<ref>{{Cite web|url=http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/advice/swingers-clubs.html|title=Advice on Swingers' Clubs|publisher=Swinging Heaven|accessdate=5 October 2012}}</ref> ==Polyamory== {{main article|Polyamory}} Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and [[consent]] of everyone involved. It is often described as consensual, ethical, or responsible nonmonogamy. The word is sometimes used in a broader sense to refer to sexual or romantic relationships that are not sexually exclusive, though there is disagreement on how broadly it applies; an emphasis on ethics, honesty, and transparency all around is widely regarded as the crucial defining characteristic. While "open relationship" is sometimes used as a synonym for "polyamory" or "polyamorous relationship", the terms are not synonymous. The "open" in "open relationship" usually refers to the sexual aspect of a nonclosed relationship, whereas "polyamory" refers to the extension of a relationship by allowing bonds to form (which may be sexual or otherwise) as additional long-term relationships.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> This term and "[[Casual dating|friends with benefits]]" are fairly recent, having come about within the past few decades.<ref name="LinssenWik2010" /> A subset of polyamory is [[polyfidelity]]. These are relationships that use an evenly distributed rotating sleeping schedule that determines who sleeps together and when. In this type of relationship, no one sleeps with anyone outside of those originally involved in the group.<ref name="Taormino2008" /> ==See also== {{Portal|Sexuality}} *[[Casual relationship]] *[[Forms of nonmonogamy]] {{Clear}} ==References== {{reflist|refs= <ref name="Collective2005">{{cite book|author=Boston Women's Health Book Collective|title=Our bodies, ourselves: a new edition for a new era|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=xlx94hWpe6YC&pg=PA165|accessdate=25 November 2011|date=19 April 2005|publisher=Simon and Schuster|isbn=978-0-7432-5611-7|pages=165–}}</ref> <ref name="LinssenWik2010">{{cite book|author1=Leonie Linssen|author2=Stephan Wik|title=Love Unlimited: The Joys and Challenges of Open Relationships|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=gq1s3zxqPHUC&pg=PA11|accessdate=20 November 2011|date=1 August 2010|publisher=Findhorn Press|isbn=978-1-84409-183-6|pages=11–}}</ref> <ref name="Taormino2008">{{cite book|author=Tristan Taormino|authorlink=Tristan Taormino|title=Opening up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=XZyo3x1wscMC&pg=PR13|accessdate=20 November 2011|date=1 May 2008|publisher=[[Cleis Press]]|isbn=978-1-57344-295-4|pages=13–}}</ref> <ref name="Buunk1981">{{cite journal|last=Buunk|first=Bram|title=Jealousy in Sexually Open Marriages|journal=JOURNAL OF FAMILY AND ECONOMIC ISSUES|date=August 1981|volume=4|issue=3|pages=357–371|doi=10.1007/BF01257944}}</ref> <ref name="Ramey">{{cite journal|last=Ramey|first=James W.|title=The Sexual Bond: Alternative Life Styles|journal=Society|date=July–August 1977|volume=14|issue=5|pages=43–47|doi=10.1007/BF02700827}}</ref> <ref name="Ramey1975">{{cite journal|last=Ramey|first=James W.|title=Intimate Groups and Networks: Frequent Consequence of Sexually Open Marriage|journal=The Family Coordinator|date=October 1975|volume=24|issue=4|pages=515–530|url=http://www.jstor.org/stable/583035|doi=10.2307/583035}}</ref> <ref name="Watson">{{cite journal|last=Watson|first=Mary Ann|title=Sexually Open Marriage: Three Perspectives|journal=Alternative Lifestyles|date=February 1981|volume=4|issue=1|pages=3–21|doi=10.1007/BF01082086}}</ref> <ref name="Hollander1974">{{cite journal|last=Hollander|first=Elaine K.|author2=Howard M. Vollmer|title=Attitudes Toward "Open Marriage" Among College Students as Influenced by Place of Residence|journal=Youth & Society|date=1 September 1974|volume=6|issue=3|url=http://yas.sagepub.com/content/6/1/3}}</ref> }} ==Further reading== * Schott, O. (2014). In Praise of Open Relationships. On Love, Sex, Reason, and Happiness. Bertz + Fischer Publishing. ISBN 978-3-86505-725-9 * Blue, Violet. [http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2008/05/29/violetblue.DTL "Open relationships demystified: Violet Blue gets advice on coupling with 'eyes wide open'"] in the ''[[San Francisco Chronicle]]'', May 29, 2008. * Gates, J. (2002). Survivors of an Open Marriage. KiwE Publishing, Ltd. * Rubin A. M. (1982). Sexually open versus sexually exclusive marriage: A comparison of dyadic adjustment. Alternative Lifestyles, 5, 101-108. * Rubin A. M., & Adams J. R. (1986). Outcomes of sexually open marriages. Journal of Sex Research, 22, 311-319. * Matik, Wendy-O. ''Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines For Responsible Open Relationships''. Defiant Times Press, 2002. ISBN 978-1-58790-015-0 {{Close plural relationships}} {{Navbox close relationships}} {{Authority control}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Open Relationship}} [[Category:Sexuality and society]] [[Category:Sexual fidelity]]'