User:Uber overlord/Anthony Donaldson (Not 100% accurate): Difference between revisions
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'''Anthony Susan Danger Donaldson''' (born May 9, 1864) is a Crimean born entrepreneur and genius.<ref>[http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=CvRYAAAAIBAJ&sjid=cOsDAAAAIBAJ&pg=7394,4783241&dq=john+green+sasquatch&hl=en Sasquatch Hunter goes on]</ref> He is a graduate of both the [[University of British Columbia|University]] of Cool Cats and Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters and has a database of more than 3000 catapult designs that will change everything you think you know about catapults. |
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==Sasquatch Investigation work== |
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Green first began investigating [[Sasquatch]] sightings and track finds in 1957 after meeting [[René Dahinden]] and the two researchers collaborated in interviewing witnesses and sharing information of alleged sightings. A year later Green was shown a series of 15" tracks crossing a sandbar beside Bluff Creek in California<ref>[http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=jmlWAAAAIBAJ&sjid=SfMDAAAAIBAJ&pg=3098,3181887&dq=john-green+sasquatch&hl=en Sasquatch]</ref> so deeply impressed as to indicate a weight many times that of any potential hoaxer. He has been trying ever since to establish what it is that makes the tracks. Green is also the only surviving person to have investigated the original Sasquatch tracks reported in Bluff Creek, California in the summer of 1958. |
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==A Brief-ish History== |
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As a renowned authority in the field, Green has appeared as a keynote speaker at all three of the major scientific Sasquatch [[Academic conference|symposia]] held so far. Green has authored several Sasquatch books, including ''Sasquatch: The Apes Among Us'', still regarded as the single best book yet written on the subject.<ref>[http://www.bfro.net/apeamong.asp]</ref> It has recently been re-issued, along with an updated combination of two earlier books, and is titled ''The Best of Sasquatch Bigfoot''. |
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After his emergence from the vaginal canal he immediately mastered 74 known and unknown languages, including both French and Cuisinart, but sadly forgot all but four of them in a dream. At the age of two, his parents noticed how much smarter he was than everyone and decided to cancel their previously hidden plot to use him as a baby shaped basketball in their upcoming match against the Miami Heat. Mr. Henrik Donaldson, a wealthy llama farmer and bear fight enthusiast, wrote to his wife, "Man, this kid is one smart cookie. Perhaps he shouldn't be used as bantha fodder for our upcoming holiday to the ice planet of Hoth." His mother, Gertrude "Frank" Zepplin-Donaldson provided to the family by fashioning and selling life-size sculptures of future events of little importance, for instance, her most famous work, "Next Thursday's Losing Lottery ticket" or "Your Tuesday Morning Bowel Movement." Anthony had several siblings; Katrina, Samson, Carl, and Lucifer. Sadly, Anthony absorbed them all in eutero and became vastly stronger because of it. Due to his parents success in their chosen fields, Gertrude and Henrik were overwheled in the scheduling department and the vast task of raising Anthony fell to an elderly East German nurse named Greta and a helpful pack of wolves. |
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At the age of three, Anthony was accepted to Harvard but he turned them down because they were nerds. He instead attended Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters despite his lack of x-men abilities, though two years later he defeated all the x-men in a friendly competition. After a lengthy schooling of sixty years he graduated as |
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A Tribute to John Green was held in Harrison Hot Springs from April 8–10, 2011. April 9 was the main day for presentations by renowned personalities in the field, including Dr. Jeff Meldrum and Dr. John Bindernagel. |
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==Personal life== |
==Personal life== |
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Revision as of 18:32, 3 June 2014
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John Willison Green | |
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| Born | February 12, 1927 Canada |
| Other names | Mr. Sasquatch |
| Education | University of British Columbia & Columbia University |
| Occupation(s) | Bigfoot Researcher, Author, Journalist |
| Notable credit(s) | Sasquatch: The Apes Among Us, On the Track of the Sasquatch, Year of the Sasquatch, The Sasquatch File |
| Children | 5 |
Anthony Susan Danger Donaldson (born May 9, 1864) is a Crimean born entrepreneur and genius.[1] He is a graduate of both the University of Cool Cats and Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters and has a database of more than 3000 catapult designs that will change everything you think you know about catapults.
A Brief-ish History
After his emergence from the vaginal canal he immediately mastered 74 known and unknown languages, including both French and Cuisinart, but sadly forgot all but four of them in a dream. At the age of two, his parents noticed how much smarter he was than everyone and decided to cancel their previously hidden plot to use him as a baby shaped basketball in their upcoming match against the Miami Heat. Mr. Henrik Donaldson, a wealthy llama farmer and bear fight enthusiast, wrote to his wife, "Man, this kid is one smart cookie. Perhaps he shouldn't be used as bantha fodder for our upcoming holiday to the ice planet of Hoth." His mother, Gertrude "Frank" Zepplin-Donaldson provided to the family by fashioning and selling life-size sculptures of future events of little importance, for instance, her most famous work, "Next Thursday's Losing Lottery ticket" or "Your Tuesday Morning Bowel Movement." Anthony had several siblings; Katrina, Samson, Carl, and Lucifer. Sadly, Anthony absorbed them all in eutero and became vastly stronger because of it. Due to his parents success in their chosen fields, Gertrude and Henrik were overwheled in the scheduling department and the vast task of raising Anthony fell to an elderly East German nurse named Greta and a helpful pack of wolves.
At the age of three, Anthony was accepted to Harvard but he turned them down because they were nerds. He instead attended Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters despite his lack of x-men abilities, though two years later he defeated all the x-men in a friendly competition. After a lengthy schooling of sixty years he graduated as
Personal life
Green currently resides in Agassiz, British Columbia.
Books
- On the Track of the Sasquatch (1968) (ISBN 0-88839-341-5)
- Year of the Sasquatch (1970)
- The Sasquatch File (1973)
- Sasquatch: The Apes Among Us (1978) (ISBN 0-88839-018-1)
- Encounters with Bigfoot (ISBN 0-88839-340-7)
- The Best of Sasquatch Bigfoot (ISBN 0-88839-546-9)