User:Uber overlord/Anthony Donaldson (Not 100% accurate)
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John Willison Green | |
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| Born | February 12, 1927 Canada |
| Other names | Mr. Sasquatch |
| Education | University of British Columbia & Columbia University |
| Occupation(s) | Bigfoot Researcher, Author, Journalist |
| Notable credit(s) | Sasquatch: The Apes Among Us, On the Track of the Sasquatch, Year of the Sasquatch, The Sasquatch File |
| Children | 5 |
Anthony Susan Danger Donaldson (born May 9, 1864) is a Crimean born entrepreneur and genius.[1] He is a graduate of both the University of Cool Cats and Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters and has a database of more than 3000 catapult designs that will change everything you think you know about catapults.
A Brief-ish History
[edit]After his emergence from the vaginal canal he immediately mastered 74 known and unknown languages, including both French and Cuisinart, but sadly forgot all but four of them in a dream. At the age of two, his parents noticed how much smarter he was than everyone and decided to cancel their previously hidden plot to use him as a baby shaped basketball in their upcoming match against the Miami Heat. Mr. Henrik Donaldson, a wealthy llama farmer and bear fight enthusiast, wrote to his wife, "Man, this kid is one smart cookie. Perhaps he shouldn't be used as bantha fodder for our upcoming holiday to the ice planet of Hoth." His mother, Gertrude "Frank" Zepplin-Donaldson provided to the family by fashioning and selling life-size sculptures of future events of little importance, for instance, her most famous work, "Next Thursday's Losing Lottery ticket" or "Your Tuesday Morning Bowel Movement." Anthony had several siblings; Katrina, Samson, Carl, and Lucifer. Sadly, Anthony absorbed them all in eutero and became vastly stronger because of it. Due to his parents success in their chosen fields, Gertrude and Henrik were overwheled in the scheduling department and the vast task of raising Anthony fell to an elderly East German nurse named Greta and a helpful pack of wolves.
At the age of three, Anthony was accepted to Harvard but he turned them down because they were nerds. He instead attended Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters despite his lack of x-men abilities, though two years later he defeated all the x-men in a friendly competition. After a lengthy schooling of sixty years he graduated as
Personal life
[edit]Green currently resides in Agassiz, British Columbia.
Books
[edit]- On the Track of the Sasquatch (1968) (ISBN 0-88839-341-5)
- Year of the Sasquatch (1970)
- The Sasquatch File (1973)
- Sasquatch: The Apes Among Us (1978) (ISBN 0-88839-018-1)
- Encounters with Bigfoot (ISBN 0-88839-340-7)
- The Best of Sasquatch Bigfoot (ISBN 0-88839-546-9)
References
[edit]Category:1927 births Category:Living people Category:Bigfoot Category:Writers from British Columbia Category:Canadian journalists Category:Columbia University alumni Category:Cryptozoologists Category:University of British Columbia alumni