User:Peteryebuzhidaogaiqushenmemingzi/Egyptian Music/Hugh Beresford1997 Peer Review

Peer review

Complete your peer review exercise below, providing as much constructive criticism as possible. The more detailed suggestions you provide, the more useful it will be to your classmate. Make sure you consider each of the following aspects:

Lead

Guiding questions:

Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?
Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?
Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections?
Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article?
Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed?

Content

Guiding questions:

Is the content added relevant to the topic?
Is the content added up-to-date?
Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong?
Does the article deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps? Does it address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics?

Tone and Balance

Guiding questions:

Is the content added neutral?
Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another?

Sources and References

Guiding questions:

Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information?
Does the content accurately reflect what the cited sources say? (You'll need to refer to the sources to check this.)
Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic?
Are the sources current?
Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible?
Are there better sources available, such as peer-reviewed articles in place of news coverage or random websites? (You may need to do some digging to answer this.)
Check a few links. Do they work?

Organization

Guiding questions:

Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read?
Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors?
Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic?

Images and Media

Guiding questions: If your peer added images or media

Does the article include images that enhance understanding of the topic?
Are images well-captioned?
Do all images adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulations?
Are the images laid out in a visually appealing way?

For New Articles Only

If the draft you're reviewing is for a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.

Does the article meet Wikipedia's Notability requirements - i.e. Is the article supported by 2-3 reliable secondary sources independent of the subject?
How exhaustive is the list of sources? Does it accurately represent all available literature on the subject?
Does the article follow the patterns of other similar articles - i.e. contain any necessary infoboxes, section headings, and any other features contained within similar articles?
Does the article link to other articles so it is more discoverable?

Overall impressions

Guiding questions:

Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?
What are the strengths of the content added?
How can the content added be improved?

Examples of good feedback

A good article evaluation can take a number of forms. The most essential things are to clearly identify the biggest shortcomings, and provide specific guidance on how the article can be improved.

Peer review of "Homemaking"
Peer review of this article about a famous painting

Additional Resources

Check out the Editing Wikipedia PDF for general editing tips and suggestions.

General info

Whose work are you reviewing?

Peter's

Link to draft you're reviewing
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists): Music of Egypt

Evaluate the drafted changes

I hope these give some good suggestions. The article was pretty full already. Maybe consider using a different article to explore some of these. Maybe this one.

Music of North Africa

You can then practice using photos and arranging the article properly.

This is a very full article. However, I think there could be be some more written on the different religious music i nEgypt. Is their Christian and Islamic music present or possibly other religions also. This would not have to be a big section just a few sentences. Maybe this source will help.

Frishkopf, M. (2021). Muslims, Music, and Religious Tolerance in Egypt and Ghana: A Comparative Perspective on Difference. In Islam and Popular Culture (pp. 323-346). University of Texas Press.

Further areas of research could be on improvisational music in Egypt. I know for the music of the Middle East and for Maqam music improvisation plays a major role. This source may help with that. Watson, C. (2012). How musicians develop the ability to improvise: a cross-cultural comparison of skill development in the Egyptian, Hindustani classical, and jazz traditions. PhD diss., University of New South Wales.

Another area of research could be the use of such advanced instruments and what this says or reflects about where the instruments were used and also how important music was to the Egyptian's who used such advanced music. This might give a bit of extensions level content if you look into the use of music and what is was used for. Even though there is already a bit of this discussion present I think there could be a whole paragraph on it. Maybe also look at hierarchies. Who was playing. for what reason did they play.

There is also a bit of division given to rural and urban music but i also have read about the nomadic people of the Middle East. I wonder if the Bedouin or another group was nomadic and how these people affected Egyption folklore.

Murray, G. W. (2013). Sons of Ishmael (RLE Egypt): A Study of the Egyptian Bedouin. Routledge.

Wasylikowa, K., & Dahlberg, J. (1999). Sorghum in the economy of the Early Neolithic nomadic tribes at Nabta Playa, Southern Egypt. In The exploitation of plant resources in ancient Africa (pp. 11-31). Springer, Boston, MA.

Rapoport, Y. (2004). Invisible Peasants, Marauding Nomads, Taxation, Tribalism, and Rebellion in Mamluk Egypt. Mamluk studies review, 8(2), 1-22.

I hope these give some good suggestions. The article was pretty full already. Maybe consider using a different article to explore some of these. You can then practice using photos and arrangin the article properly.