User:Stardiff9/Miguelitos/Jasminrw Peer Review
Peer review
[edit]Hi!
Your first draft of the Miguelitos article is a great improvement to the original content! The lead section has been expanded wonderfully to get a good sense of what you plan to bring into the body of the article. The first lead sentence presents what the dessert is and where it originates. I would suggest creating a history category because it would accent the mention about the original creator really nicely. Rearranging some thoughts within the lead such as the section that states 'Manuel Blanco the creator of these flaky desserts,was born in La Roda in 1925. After being apart of the military in 1960 he migrated to a place called Pamplona where his masterpiece was created. The name Miguelito came, after he decided to give his friend Miguel the first bite of his creation, from there the name had stuck', is a possibility. Introducing word replacements such as "These flaky desserts" with "Miguelitos" or "Masterpiece" for a more neutral word may allow the reader to follow the content easier without persuasion. Overall the lead to the article is really strong, the only part I noticed needing a correction is a missing space in the second sentence.
All of the citations in the draft work, and are placed appropriately with matching information which will greatly improve the existing article. The existing sections of the article are very well organized into sections that allow all the information to be easily accessible. I really like that the article contains a recipe! Some of the directions and ingredients can be vague in a couple parts such as "2 sachets of vanilla sugar", "original cream", or phrases like "Normally" and would stand well with a few quick revisions to keep the content accessible for beginners. Really great job on this! I am looking forward to reading the rest of your project! (Jasminrw)