User:WikiUser481/Glow & Lovely/JennaHCesar Peer Review
General info
[edit]- Whose work are you reviewing?
WikiUser481
- Link to draft you're reviewing
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:WikiUser481/Glow_%26_Lovely?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
- Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
- Glow & Lovely
Evaluate the drafted changes
[edit]- The lead and introduction are good. It gave great background information on the topic- the Glow & Lovely skincare product. Perhaps in the intro you could include a brief sentence about how the company faced colourism allegations; something really short, because this idea was discussed the most in the article and isn't revealed in the intro paragraph.
- The content was really good. You introduced a lot of great information about the skincare product- its advertisement/marketing problems, the key ingredients found in the product, and its rebranding strategy after its colourism allegations. I don't really have any feedback to give as writing about a skincare product seems pretty difficult. It does seem that you mainly talked about the colourism issues the company faced more than anything, so perhaps bring in something else to balance the content out. You mentioned in the introduction paragraph about its intended audience- maybe write more on that, how much the product sells annually; or more background/context on the business and its founder/CEO (or something along those lines). There were also very minor spacing and grammatical errors I changed as well.
- The article takes a neutral stance. You did a great job describing the product using a neutral tone, which can be hard when talking about a skincare product (you don't want it to start sounding like a product review, which you didn't, so good job on that).
- The content is organized pretty well; everything ties together and flows well. I would recommend maybe combining certain sections- like "Advertisement Issues" and "Criticisms"- as they talk very similarly about the colourism allegations the company faced. You could also probably link together the sections "Rebranding" and "The president's Response..." together as they both similarly talk about trying to regain face after the backlash.
- It seems that in your sandbox, the image in the original article is gone- perhaps you meant to do that or didn't, but I recommend incorporating the Glow & Lovely product in the article as it's a nice visual.
- Overall, your article is well-written. I think you've done a great job. I just recommend doing the small changes I listed above if you feel like they would make the article better and more whole/complete. Again, to reiterate, writing about a skincare product is hard as there's not a lot of information, except from the company's website, so it's hard to find good, reliable, and neutral content/sources. But I would recommend trying to find something else/more to write about besides just the allegations and backlash they faced (because that's mainly the only thing the article talks and expands on). But, awesome job, the article is really good so far!