User talk:Markaberk/sandbox
Article: Carlos Latuff[edit | edit source] Published works[edit | edit source] It's very important to keep published works updated. Good job finding Latuff's additional publishings that were not mentioned. If you can find more information you could elaborate on what kind of topics were actually published, not just where they were published.
Will do. Thanks! Markaberk (talk) 02:08, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
History[edit | edit source][edit | edit source] "Although he resides in Brazil, Latuff was up to date with the protests that were happening in Egypt, and was in support of the protesters. In 2011, he created several cartoons that criticized the military rule in Egypt and its attacks on protesters." I think its should be it's. You could possibly find a quote of Latuff stating how he stayed up to day while in a different country.
I think "its" is correct because it indicates possessive; the military's attacks on protesters. I found this quote of him saying that he used Twitter to stay in touch with Egyptians: “In the Arab Spring,” says Latuff, “I've used Twitter heavily to communicate with people in Egypt.” https://advox.globalvoices.org/2011/10/30/brazil-1%C2%BA-encontro-mundial-de-blogueiros-first-world-bloggers-conference/ Markaberk (talk) 02:09, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
Article: Death of Khaled Mohamed Saeed[edit | edit source] Death[edit | edit source][edit | edit source] It is so disturbing what happened. I hope you are able to use quotes from the youtube videos because that would be greatly beneficial. You could mention how people found out about this mostly through social media and his picture spreading and could not rely on published information.
The YouTube interview was in Arabic but the translation was accurate. The fact that people found out through social media is already mentioned in the article's introduction though; "A prominent Facebook group, "We are all Khaled Said",[1] moderated by Wael Ghonim, brought attention to his death and contributed to growing discontent in the weeks leading up to the Egyptian Revolution of 2011." Markaberk (talk) 02:09, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
We are all Khaled Said[edit | edit source]
While Ghonim started the campaign, he added more administrators to the page, including Ahmed Saleh and Nadine Wahab. <-- Instead of while you could say As soon as Gonim started the campaign, he added....
You're right, that sounds a little weird. I can also say "When Ghonim started the campaign,...." Will fix that! Markaberk (talk) 02:09, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
Prelude[edit | edit source] Self-immolation[edit | edit source][edit | edit source] Maybe describe what self-immolation is briefly, "the offering of oneself as a sacrifice, especially by burning; such suicidal action in the name of a cause or strongly held belief.". Include why Alexandrian man fell victim to self-immolation. Include why so many people catch themselves on fire- attention? media? last resort? There should be a source addressing why so many people did it.
I don't think a description of self-immolation is necessary because the word "self-immolation" itself is a hyperlink and if you click on it, it will just take you to a page describing the practice in details. I explained why Abdou Abdel Monaam set himself on fire, but I will make sure to include Ahmed as well. Markaberk (talk) 02:09, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
All together, your work looks great! You seem to be on track and are adding a lot of info to multiple articles. Can't wait to see your final edits.
Thank you! For future reference, can you sign your posts so I can find your comments easier? Markaberk (talk) 02:10, 9 November 2016 (UTC)