User talk:Mblucas/Tyrone Hayes
Peer Review
[edit]Hello,
I will put this peer review in a few different locations because I do not know where it can be accessed. Also, I do not know who made certain changes, so everything I say is for the whole group. I see that some edits were made to the lead section, but they are unnecessary rewordings of the existing content that detract from the original conciseness and clarity. The other main issue is that one source is cited as two different sources; there is a way to cite the same source without creating a new reference ("Cite" button and then "Re-use" button). Some more minor changes that should be made are the removal of an extra space before the word "causing" in the lead section, the removal of the article "the" before "Maryland," and the addition of an apostrophe to the first "Hayes" under the "Workplace Misconduct" section. I like the section that was added about controversies. Are you going to move the part of the existing article that describes the emails to this section? CFB1019 (talk) 22:58, 18 February 2023 (UTC)
Peer Review II
[edit]Hello, I have also completed your peer review. Since I am not sure where it can be accessed either, I will repost it here:I think that the Lead includes an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic. The Lead does seem to include a brief description of the article's major sections. The information present in the Lead is found in the rest of the article, and it is nice and concise. For the references, I don't see why the same reference should be added twice. Aside from that, I think everything is good so far. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Mhlooney (talk • contribs) 00:02, 20 February 2023 (UTC)
Hi, I peer reviewed what you all have so far in the sandbox. Ajaslay (talk) 00:24, 20 February 2023 (UTC)
Hello, I left a peer review in your sandbox for your viewing. Hope it is helpful. Ryanbrown58 (talk) 03:15, 20 February 2023 (UTC)
Hello, I also peer reviewed your article. I like that you have expanded upon the controversies that are known about Tyrone Hayes, I believe that you're off to a great start. I think it would be beneficial if the section regarding workplace misconduct provided further evidence of the allegations against him and explicitly stated what those allegations are. There are a few grammar and spelling errors in this portion. "One study was conducted in Germany while the other was conducted in the Maryland, USA. The EPA has been unsuccessful in replicating his results after numerous trails were performed." "The" before Maryland should be removed, ,as well as "trails" being changed to "trials." I also noticed the advocacy section of the main article seems to be slightly outdated, as the most recent topic is from 2014. If there are any new advocacy ventures for Hayes, I feel it could be beneficial to include those as well. Iscucchi (talk) 05:46, 20 February 2023 (UTC)
Hello! I have peer reviewed the work in your sandbox. Here is the link if you need it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mblucas/Tyrone_Hayes/Pleighs_Peer_Review — Preceding unsigned comment added by Pleighs (talk • contribs) 05:54, 20 February 2023 (UTC)